It has been very nice to sleep in the past two days. Maybe by the end of spring break I will catch up on all the sleep I need. Marty and I went to the grocery store yesterday which was great because his apartment had no food (a total bachelor pad) other than 4 cans of tomato soup, cheese, cinnamon rolls and lunch meat (but no bread). Since he is starting his diet again today (he gets 3 "cheat" days and then goes on it for 11 days) I needed some edible food since I'm not on a diet. Yesterday was still a cheat day so he took me out to eat and we had Italian. We came back and just watched movies the rest of the evening. He wanted to participate in "raid" on his game but declined since I was here. I eventually got him to cuddle somewhat when we watched movies but I can tell he's still very distant and I think he still doesn't know if he really wants to be in a relationship. I don't know if I should confront him on the issue or just let it go for a while. I still don't know what I want in terms of our relationship either. I think I'll just wait and see how the next couple of days go and make that decision later. Nothing like putting things off.
In other news, I found a job that I would really like to have but I'm afraid to apply for it. It is in Albuquerque but it is exactly what I would like to do in my career. It is an instructional media specialist job that would mostly be responsible for online course creation and working with university professors in that respect. The salary is comparable to what I'm currently making. I wouldn't mind living in Albuquerque since that is where some of my family is and I like the area. But I'm not sure if I'm at a place where I'm really ready to move. My dad called me last night though and wanted to go ahead and try to get the house in my name. Once that's done, I will have more flexibility and more options. I really want to get out classroom though so I am certainly going to keep all options open at this point.
Well, it's lunch time so I think I'm going to heat up my left over Italian food and enjoy it.
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3 comments:
O.k., so I'm going to totally be nosey and ask. Have you and Marty sat down and just been dead honest with each other about what you expect? I know you said that you didn't know where you wanted the relationship to go, but perhaps if you conferred with each other with an 'in the moment' moment it would ease some of the stress, at least for him so he's not thinking you want to get married or something. Just a thought. I apologize if I overstepped my bounds.
You haven't overstepped bounds at all. Marty, like many men, does not like to have "relationship talks." We have talked to some degree but the last serious conversation I had with him in Orlando was that he just needed more time. I was fine with that until all of a sudden I felt quite unwelcome. He knows that I eventually want marriage, but I've made it clear that I'm willing to wait and give him the time he needs. I can only guess as to what is going on with him, but I will probably talk to him before I leave. In some ways he's getting better but I still feel in the dark.
It must be terribly frustrating. Especially to have gone all that way and not receive the welcome you expected and no communication as to why.
I hope he comes around and you have a great trip! Be safe on your return.
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