Saturday, March 06, 2010

Unfocused

That's how I feel these days. Sure, I'm still overwhelmed, but even when I know I need to get things done, it is very haphazard. I got up by 9:00 this morning and started working on much overdue homework. I worked until 10:30 and then decided I needed to go to the store so I could get milk (for cereal) and cat food. So I go to the store and amazingly only spent $18 which I think is a first. I come home finish the tutorial I was working on and then do a post for my web design class. I ate some lunch and then decided to take a nap. (Don't judge - I catch up on sleep on the weekends.)
After my nap, I tackled the next homework assignment which required reading three articles so I proceeded to print them out. As I was doing that, I was looking at other things on the web. Then I finally started to read some of the articles. In the middle of that, I decided that I was hungry so I took the articles and went to Sonic where I got dinner and read in the car. I finally finished the articles and came home around 5:30. Then I did more web surfing. I didn't start writing until 7:00 p.m. and finished around 8:00. Only after I submitted my assignment did I decide that I didn't answer the question completely but by then I just didn't care. I don't have the focus or drive that I should right now. I should have gone on to do another tutorial for my web design class, but I just didn't want to.
I took a shower tonight and have just been taking it easy for the last few hours. I played some Boggle (a word game) on my iPhone and have been doing mostly nothing. I'm not sure why I am just not focused right now. I don't know if I'm feeling too overwhelmed (which is odd because I'm not as overwhelmed as I was last week) or if it's something else. It's not just school work. I don't feel any satisfaction in my job right now. My faith is o.k. but I'm mostly going through the motions. I'm just a bit out of sorts.
I've thinking about getting away for spring break (and thus the bits of web surfing today) and for the life of me, I cannot think of anything I would want to do or anyplace in particular I would want to go. Anything within driving distance would be reasonable for me but I don't want to do the same old things. I've been to Dallas a million times. I really don't want to go to Albuquerque again. I thought of maybe Colorado or someplace else in New Mexico, but again, I just don't know. Should I go someplace that has something to see and do? And if so, is it something I really want to do alone? Or do I just need to get away and curl up in a hotel room with some good books? Or do I need to get away where I can focus on some of my homework? Or do I need to spend my spring break cleaning out my garage (yet again)?
Like I said... I have no focus. I'll probably just sit here at home during spring break and watch the episodes of Psych that I've missed.

1 comment:

Leann said...

It sounds like perhaps you have some mild depression going on right now. It happens and can be residual from being overwhelmed for months on end. My 2 cents worth is to go somewhere that is peaceful for you, whether that's the desert, ocean, mountains, whatever and just spend some time with yourself. Take some good books, some nice music, take walks, etc. You get the picture. :-) I hope it all comes together for you and you have an amazing Spring Break. (hugs)