Need.Sleep.

Ambien is a wonderful pill.  It works every time.  Unfortunately, it is not supposed to be a crutch – it was prescribed for occasional use and my insurance plan will not cover daily use.  So last night after two days of school, I tried sleeping without it.  I was in bed by 9:00 and fell asleep around 10:30ish I think.  I was awake by 1:00.  Slept fitfully, if at all, until around 4:00 a.m.   I know I didn’t sleep between then and the time I finally gave up which was 5:40.  I took a shower, paid bills, and left around 7:00 because I had to get gas.  I made it through the school day but was feeling the exhaustion set in around 5th period.  Then I went to help in the library and I updated computers for an hour.  Then I reported to the ISS room to “help” which was really pointless as the ISS teacher was there and another regular teacher is assigned the same time that I am.  So there were three of us there for three students.  I never got a clear answer from Matthew today regarding getting together this evening so I wasn’t sure if I should stay at school and work or not.  I finally heard from him around 5:30 and his evening was full.  I texted him back that I understood but then he said that he would be coming back through town after visiting a friend in the hospital this evening and he’d like to take me out for ice cream between 8:30 and 9:00.  Though I thought of going to bed really early, it’s probably a good thing for me to stay up.  So I told him to call me when he was headed back this way.

Josh headed back to school today so I came home to an empty house.  I picked up dinner since I was so tired.  When I got home, I fed the animals, soaked the dishes, cleaned up a bit, and ate my dinner.  I also started washing all my bedding just so I wouldn’t be tempted to take a nap and in hopes that freshly laundered sheets and comforter will help me sleep tonight.  I’m determined to get a real night’s sleep without the ambien.  If I could take it every night, I would. 

School is going ok in terms of my classes – I really like my morning classes.  My English classes are ok but a bit talkative.  I’m already overwhelmed with too much to do.  There’s so much I should be doing tonight but it’s just not going to happen.  Once again, I cannot focus on school work once I get home.  And this is all before grad school.  It starts tomorrow officially.  I’m just hopeful that I am able to make it through this year without a break down.