Middle Aged

Now that I'm turning 40 (Nov. 10) I guess I would be considered "middle-aged." I don't know if that is a good or bad thing but I'm not keen on the idea of turning 40. Really, I guess it's no big deal. It's just another birthday and will probably be an uneventful one. I'll go to school. People will wish me happy birthday. I'll come home. I might go eat with my friend Pam, but there will be no big celebrations. No black balloons. No "over the hill" suggestions. I don't know if all that is a relief or a disappointment. In some ways I feel much older and alone. I don't mind being independent. After all - that's what I've been for some time. It doesn't necessarily bother me that Josh has gone off to college. I don't typically mind the solitude of my evenings. But sometimes I just wish I had something more. Well, enough whining about that. We always want something more than we have, don't we?
I know - if I'm lonely, I should do something about it. Easier said than done for a melancholic introvert. I even join things so that I can broaden my horizons, but even then I'm still a loner. I guess that is just who I am and who I'll always be. I guess I try to stay busy most of the time so I don't have to think about my loneliness.
So - in other news - I was sick and now I'm getting better. I missed two days of school last week which totally sucked. Some of my students threatened my sub and that really made me mad. I'm sure they'll just get their hands slapped like always. I enjoyed the brief visit from Josh. He came home this weekend to judge a speech tournament and to see the high school's musical. We had our traditional birthday dinner at Olive Garden. It was good, but I've gained about 200 pounds now.
Work is overwhelming. I stayed at school until 6:30 grading papers. Then I came home and made a quick dinner and worked on lesson plans. There's still a million things I should be doing, but I've got to get to bed at a decent hour tonight.
Well, I guess that's all the excitement going on here.