Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Freezing My A** Off

Sitting here in the house at 58 degrees. Lovely. Heater has been making a squealing kind of noise that gets annoying at times, but at least it means it's trying to work. My brilliant cousin decided last night to turn the heater off. Now it won't come back on. I've got all my electric heaters going and two logs in the fireplace (I'm hoping I don't catch the house on fire).
Told my dad about the squealing this weekend. He was too busy to come check it out. My brother is too busy with work. Since I broke up with all my boyfriends to be with Marty, I don't have any other guys to come help out. Maybe Matt since he wasn't ever a boyfriend, but not sure he would know what to do.
I hate being cold. If I had any money, I'd call a plumber.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

What have I done?

This journal is because of Diana’s blog. Please do check it out as she has a lot of wonderful thoughts and ponderings just as I have had this year. She posed the following question because of John Lennon's song So This is Christmas.

What have I done this past year?

By month:

January
Started talking to Marty (or Martin as I used to know him) when he found me via classmates.com.
Found my dad an RV so he could move out of his house (so I could plan to move in)
Introduced my dad to Carol Ann when he said he was ready to start dating after my mom passed away.
Filed for divorce, finally.

February
Went to Michigan for a blind date of sorts. Met Steve from E-Harmony and had a nice time. Sprained my ankle on the trip.
Marty came to visit me for the first time at the end of the month. He was here for two weeks.

March
Performed in the Vagina Monologues.
Moved into my parents house over spring break. Painted, updated, cleaned etc. before moving in. Has been a continuous process.
Lost the other house to foreclosure (due to divorce).

April
Got divorced! Wooooo Hoooooo!
Changed my last name back to my maiden name and reclaimed my identity.
Met Patrick (I think) this month.

May
All my yearbooks delivered on time without major hassels. Finished the year.
Went to Branson for family reunion Memorial weekend.

June
Went to Chicago with my dad so he could show us where my parents grew up.
Met Steve at Six Flags Great Adventure. Lost my favorite pair of sunglasses.
Went on annual rollercoaster trip with Josh. (See post to get details)
Rode my 100th coaster at Cedar Point. (Top Thrill Dragster)

July
Marty came back beginning of this month and stayed about a week. We went to his parents for a brief visit and to Fiesta Texas. He rode the coasters with me despite his fear. I fell for him. I had to break things off with 3 other guys to be with him. I think he’s worth it.
Went to Jostens meeting in Dallas.

August
Went to stay with Marty while he was at his parents’ house. Got to meet his girls. Said “I love you” for the first time there.
Started work on another school year.

September
Marty came here for a week to go to his family reunion. I went with him. He was surprised and amazed that I did. And it wasn’t bad at all. Think I made a fairly good impression on his family.
Won a new elementary yearbook.

October
Went to visit Marty in Connecticut. Was surprised by several things. Gave me a bit to ponder in our relationship, but still holding on to it.
Upgraded two of my schools to all color books.

November
Had mine & Josh’s birthday. Uneventful for me. Took Josh and his friends to the movies. Still disconcerted by the fact that Marty didn’t send a card or flowers or anything. Hopefully have made my point about that.
Was the one year anniversary of my mother’s passing. I made a photo collage of pictures of her throughout the years and printed one for each of my siblings and dad.
Went to Albuquerque for Thanksgiving.
Won a new yearbook account.
Got almost all of my schools renewed for 2006.

December
Survived getting renewals, covers finshed, schools visited and general yearbook mayhem. Spent almost all of my bonus on everyone except myself for Christmas. (Though I did buy myself 3 books from Amazon)
Probably won another yearbook account, just need to figure which program to place them in.
Cleaned out my garage so I can park my car in it.

To finish out the year…
Going to pull my clarinet out and play a duet with Josh at my cousin’s Christening.
Going to Albuquerque for Christmas.
Going to wait patiently for Marty to get here on the 28th.
Going to have a New Year’s party WITH Marty here.
Will probably NOT make any resolutions since I always seem to break them.

In general:
Had sex with too many people that I shouldn’t have and regret most of it. (no, Patrick, you’re not a regret) I justified myself at the time saying I needed to sow some wild oats, but I think it was mostly to prove to myself that I was desirable, sexy, and wanted by men since my husband didn’t want me. At least perhaps that’s what it was.

Found some of my lost self-esteem. It seems to have come and gone quite a bit in the last several years. But at this point, I’ve learned to love myself, mostly. I think I’m a pretty darn good catch. And I’m sexy as heck. (Yeah, trying to clean up the language too.)

Started considering a place for God in my life again. Have been exploring the possibility of becoming Catholic. Still not there yet, but at least I’m open to possibilities for the first time in about 13 years.

Lost 25 lbs. And 2 dress sizes. Gradually got my hair cut short.

Learned that it’s o.k. to be alone. Sometimes it’s even great.

Realize that I deserve to be loved.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Come and play....

I've seen this on a few blogs and decided to borrow it. If you're just visiting, go ahead and play. If you don't want to ask any questions that's o.k. I've seen a bit of traffic to my site, but I really only know about 6 regular readers. If you read my blog at all... just leave me a note that says "hi".
Thanks for playing!!

1) First recommend to me:
A) a movie
B) a book
C) a musical artist/album/song

2) Ask me any three questions you want, anything at all.

3) Go to your blog (if you have one), copy and paste this and allow everyone to ask you anything.

All wrapped up

I've been wrapping presents for a couple of hours now. It's exhausting. I still have a handful that I need to do, but going to have to take a break for a bit. Got Marty's big one wrapped. Josh's big present has been sent to New Mexico (since that's where we're going for Christmas) and it will have just a bow on it.
I still have the ones with photos to create and sort through, but I've got to get the office cleaned and cleared a bit so I'll have a place to work. It's on the agenda.
I got Pete's letters typed and the editor can do some more posting. I still have some yearbook work to do, but it's just going to have to go on hold for now.
Traded gifts with Patrick today. I LOVED my gift. He got me the first season of Monk. I hope he liked his stuff. I got him a classical romance CD to use with his new girlfriend and something else that I can't mention here as it is related to something else regarding Marty. Soooo... I hope he really did like it.
Only 11 more days til Marty is here!!

No Work Today!!!

O.k. I do have to do some work today, but I don't have to DRIVE anywhere today. I still have some art to create for a school and pages to convert to pdf files for another and then I have to get those darn covers submitted... but AFTER all that I'm FREEEEEEE... o.k. free until Monday. Thought I would officially have my vacation today, but, alas, I have two more schools to visit on Monday and then I'm done for the year. Well, at least 2004.
Oh!!!! More wonderful news. I may have just gotten another new school. Got a call from a yearbook parent yesterday wanting me to order a kit. I wasn't able to reach her again yesterday to get the information, but will definitely make contact today!! Mmmmm... wondering again why my bonus was less this year. Won (probably) 3 new schools and upgraded 2 others to full color books and all my advisers are really happy with me this year (knock on wood). O.k. lost one elementary because they didn't like our pricing (which is weird because I think our elementary books are cheaper than other companies) and 2 schools that simply chose not to do a book period. Not something I did to lose them. And I'm visiting 2 of my boss' schools this year so he doesn't have to. I guess it's still because of the ring and trip to San Antonio. It's just still dissappointing since I wanted to pay off some extra bills.
Why is it on days that you don't HAVE to get up early, one wakes up at 6 am? Every other day this week that I had to leave by 7:45 or 8 I slept until the last minute and was still tired, but today I'm awake at 6? I didn't get up at six, however. I forced myself to stay in bed and did go back to sleep. That is until Josh woke me up for a ride to school. And then stupid me realizes that I forgot to park the car in the garage last night. My lovely garage that keeps me from having to scrape windows in the morning. Oh well.
Today I have to do some yearbook work, wait for Marty's present(s) to arrive via Fedex, exchange gifts with Patrick, and wrap presents. Sounds like another full day of work, but at least I'm staying home!

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Texas Twang

O.k. I admit it. I have that little bit of Texas twang when I speak. I fought it for a while, given that I was a speech major, but it's still there and it leaps out from time to time. And it's one of those things that Marty loves about me. I love that.
I was talking with him on the phone tonight and said something to the effect that he might be reconsidering marrying me since I've been a bit difficult. He said that he hasn't yet. He said that there have been times he might have be concerned, but that when he hears my Texas twang it melts him. And that melted me. Sometimes it's just the little things.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Is it Friday yet????

I am soooooooo overworked and underpaid right now. Underpaid since my bonus this year was half of what it was last year and that makes my total income less this year than last. If I were teaching I'd be making a few thousand more than I am now. But I'm sure I'd be stressed and unhappy. This job is less stressful and gives me more freedom, but the money, honestly is a bit sucky at this point. Given the rising cost of gas, the cost of mainting my car that has almost 200,000 miles on it and putting on an addtional 35,000 miles a year.
I'm quite overworked at the moment too. I don't know what it is with my schedule this year, but it seems I'm traveling every day all day long. Last year I could have an office day every couple of weeks or at least a morning or afternoon off every once in a while. I have so much to do and I'm completely putting it off. I've promised to create some things in photoshop for two of my schools and I have to convert 64 pages of pagemaker files to pdfs for another. On top of that, tomorrow I have to visit 6 schools in one day. On Thursday is another 4. Friday may or not be one school. After that, I've got to stop thinking about yearbooks for the next two weeks. I'm just so sick of it at this point. Perhaps I should have sent in the resume for the graphic artist job. Less pay, but no travel and the opportunity for health issurance is quite appealing at this point.
I still have way too many Christmas presents to wrap because I was completely unselfish this year. O.k. I'm unselfish every year. Comes with being a mom and female I guess.
Josh and I still need to practice our duet for my cousin's Christening on Christmas eve.
I have a million photos to put into photo albums for Christmas. Does it ever end?
On a happier note, I did catch up on laundry and dishes and the house is clean. AND I can park my car in the garage. Happy, happy, joy, joy. First time a car has been parked in this garage in about 25 years I think. It's been quite lovely the last two days.
I'm so completely exhausted right now I don't know what to do with myself. I'm comitting myself to being in bed by 10:30 tonight given that I have to be in Dumas by 9 a.m. tomorrow.
Oh... and I've decided to take on another challenge. I'm helping Prison Pete's editor type some of Pete's letters. He's been stressed too and hasn't been able to keep up with the blog. As a loyal reader I offered to help. And I don't mind and have found it interesting. Had trouble deciphering a few words, but the first letter seemed to go well.
And I'm tired of writing now, so will post this and make plans for bed.

Much Needed Ego Boost

Taken verbatim from Patrick's blog. I'm going to try to return the compliment despite my inferior writing skills.

"A friendly ego boost for Annabel
No, I haven't forgotten about that
ego-boost meme I posted a couple weeks back, I've just been really, really busy.Internet dating ain't always what it's cut out to be. You can just ask me about all the bad things that have happened in my life because of internet dating. Believe me when I tell you that they considerably outweigh the good things.Annabel's one of the good things, though. She responded to one of my singles ads many moons ago, and thought I was interesting. Said she found my profile intriguing, and that she'd like to get to know me better. I found myself wanting to get to know her, as well, since I could tell from her profile that she was pretty, smart, and reasonably well read (Annabel is just a name she uses to protect her privacy; she took it from Edgar Allan Poe's poem "Annabel Lee"). She had sexy long, dark hair and a fetching smile. I was glad to have to chance to find out that she was (and presumably still is) a very good kisser.She's been a good friend through good times and bad, and it was worth the heartache of not being the one she wanted/needed to be with to be able to count on that friendship. She's a good mom, dedicated to and protective of her son, and ferociously proud of his accomplishments and talents.She's adventurous, too, and not just because she dated me (although sometimes I think you have to be pretty adventurous to go out with me). She's one of those brave souls who takes on rollercoasters, the more dips and loops the better. I admire her courage, and wish that she'd believe me when I tell her that I would have ridden the coasters with her. They're not my thing at all, really, but they're hers, and if we'd managed to make it as a couple I would have ridden them just because they're important to her.She's a pretty nifty lady; I'm looking forward to being her friend for a while to come."


Monday, December 13, 2004

It's Official

Marty finally got his orders today. He's definitely going to Alaska. Port Clarence. Middle of absolute nowhere. But it's really the best deal he could get at this point and at least it's not the Middle East. It's only for a year. Actually it could only be 11 months since he has to take a month of leave at the end. But even if it is a full year, when he gets out, he'll be a priority one and that means he'll hopefully get his choice of locations that will be available. And he'll have a month off.
Yes, I know this will be tough. But I figure if we can survive it, then we can make it through just about anything. I hate that I won't get to talk to him every day. I hate that he'll be away from his girls. I am absolutely pleased that he'll be away from the ex, however. Don't get me wrong. She was nice to me and all that, but he's still a bit too close for comfort. He knows this, and we do need to talk about the issue, but I can say it will be the biggest relief to have him away from her.
Hopefully this comes a relief to him and some of his stress will be alleviated. Now it's a matter of figuring out when he's going to California for training. Mmmmm, I would hate to have to go out there to visit him. Really, I would.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Another Sunday

There's so much I need to be doing today. And what am I doing? Watching TLC and reading blogs. I did start some laundry and load the dishwasher though. Only about 7 more loads of laundry to go. And I need to clean the house. And I need to wrap presents. And I need to go get milk. The garage is also still a mess. Still set up for the garage sale I didn't have last month. Today is a nice day and I should do the garage. I guess I should just pack everything away again and wait for the spring.
Marty will be here in 16 days. I've decided to let go of my worries for the moment and perhaps when he gets here we can have a heart to heart, much to his chagrin.
My cousin that lives with me is driving me nuts. He's 18, a senior in high school, and a few french fries short of a happy meal. He means well, but he's a bit slow in a lot of things and though he tries hard, he tends to mess more things up than fix them. He recently totaled his car. He fell asleep at the wheel and ran into a parked car on the side of the road. He's had his license a month. Now he's obsessing about it. He's going on and on about another car when he has absolutely no money. He's making a big deal about being sore. Luckily he was wearing his seatbelt, but he suffered some pain in the ribs from it holding him back. And he moans loudly throughout the house and won't shut up about the damn car.
I've just about finished the Christmas shopping. My bonus was half of what it was last year. That made things a little more difficult, but I still got a little something for everybody. I was hoping to be a little selfish and get something for myself, but I suppose it's better to give than to be selfish.