...which leads me to more questions. My doctor called me today. He said that the ultrasound showed I have fibroid tumors. No surprise. It's basically what I suspected. Luckily fibroids are not cancerous and don't turn cancerous. On the down side, having them isn't going to relieve my symptoms and could eventually cause more problems. My doctor mentioned the possibility of a hysterectomy. My problem is that I can't just say that it's o.k. to do something that drastic for my bit of inconvenience at the moment. But if more problems arise then it may be necessary. This leads to more questions.
I'm 36 years old. It's not likely I'm going to be having more children. A. I'm not married. B. If I were married, my age is already a factor. C. Even if I did get married and wanted to have children, it might not be possible because of the fibroids that already exist. Then again on the what if side... what if I do meet someone that does want children or at least the possibility? I'm not sure how I feel about all of this. The thing is that I don't think I would be upset about not having more children. I'm at an age where I just want to be able to do what I want in life. But in considering the possibility of someday finding a decent man, I decided that I would consider having another child if it's something he wanted. I thought it might be nice to raise a child in a married environment rather than doing it by myself.
I've suspected for a long time that I would eventually have a hysterectomy. My mom was 36 when she had hers and my sister was 29. But theirs was due to pre-cancerous cells. So I'm not sure it's really necessary at this point and I can't just say let's do it. Sure, it would be nice to get rid of having periods, but it is major surgery and depending on what kind, it could involve hormone replacement thereapy.
Then again, if I go ahead and have a hysterectomy in the next year or so, it could possibly prevent cancer that could come later on. Given my family history, it seems logical that I would need it in the long run. Having it done now while I'm younger and in a fairly reasonable shape might be better than later on.
So these are thoughts circling my head at the moment. Certainly things that need to be investigated further. I will wait and see what happens when I go back for a doctor visit in the fall.
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1 comment:
I'm glad that you finally got some answers to what has been going on with your body. Even if those answers are not what you wanted to hear.
I know the pain/agony/fear of taking the steps to not be able to have children. I decided to get my tubes tied about two years ago. It was a hard decision, but I knew that I was done having children. My dear husband does not have any "natural" children, but we decided together that the ones we have (from my prior marriage) would be it for us. There are sometimes I regret it, but for the most part my physical health has been so much better. The regret lasts about a minute and then it is over.
Here is praying that you can find peace with whatever decision you make.
Blessings,
Lisa
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