Reflection

Now that the year is coming to a close, I’ve been thinking about how much things in my life has changed. Sure – things always change for people throughout the year, but this year was full of much bigger changes for me. I went to the movies by myself tonight. As I was driving home I was thinking about the fact that I’m simply happy. Life is good. It’s not just because I have a boyfriend – that is certainly a plus, but I’m finally in a place where I’m happy about where I live, I enjoy my job, and have the freedom to pursue other interests.

I’ve been randomly reading some of my blog entries from earlier this year and the following I wrote in February:

“I’m feeling that itch of needing a change. Problem is that I don’t know specifically what kind change. I just need something different. A different job, a different house, a different city, a different hairstyle, I just don’t know what it is or even how to go about it. I’m sure the itch will go away, but right now I just feel very incomplete.”

It’s amazing how fortuitous that statement was. I hadn’t yet started applying for jobs though I did mention in a January blog that I was interested in a university job opening in San Antonio. I don’t think I applied for it though. I spent much of the first have of 2011 in frustration with my job and my relationship with Michael (aka Matthew as a pseudonym). I sent out numerous applications for library jobs and even though I second guessed my decision to even apply in San Antonio. Luckily I overcame it and everything worked out in the end. I think this is where I’m supposed to be at this time in my life. I wasn’t sure I could ever actually move away from the home I’ve know most of my life. I’ve fantasized about moving away but wasn’t sure if I truly had it in me. I guess I did.

I don’t know where things will go with Matt, but I’m happy to have met him as well. I enjoy spending time with him. I’m really going to try to not overanalyze our relationship (wish me luck on that) and just take things as they come. The fact that we’re not moving very fast is probably a good thing.

I will post the traditional year in review in another day or two, but I wanted to comment in general about the current state of things. I do hope, however, that this isn’t one of those situations where someone finally says “I’m happy” and something in their world comes crashing down. Let’s hope that things continue to be positive here in San Antonio.