Saturday, November 29, 2008

I've had better Thanksgivings

It's not to say I'm not thankful. I have many thanks for many things most of which I'm sure I totally do not deserve. But spending Thanksgiving sick with something stomachy and intestinally is not my idea of fun. We went to eat at Golden Corral for Thanksgiving and usually that place is wonderful for me. I love sampling lots of different things. This year I had a few bits of corn, potatoes, salad and about four bites of chicken before declaring I couldn't eat any more. The issues have continued all weekend sometimes worse, sometimes better, but not really changed. I'll spare you the gory details about my bodily functions but suffice to say that if it continues through the weekend, I'm going to the doctor on Monday to get to the bottom of all this. I've lost 3 to 4 pounds in the last few days. That I don't mind so much, but the dehydration and lack of appetite is annoying. Yes, I'm drinking lots of fluids so I'm still o.k. but I would still like to be functioning somewhat normally again.
I just sent Josh out to buy himself some dinner and to pick me up some soup. I'm already in pajamas and took a two hour nap when I got home. I'm sitting in bed with my laptop on my lap and I was thinking about actually watching t.v. I did last night and it was fascinating. (Surely you realize that I have not watched much t.v. since the beginning of school.) It almost feels taboo to watch it. I had high hopes of cleaning the house this weekend and (gasp!) put up my Christmas tree. Josh and I are thinking of staying put this Christmas. We're playing/singing at Christmas eve Mass and we don't really want to drive over to Albuquerque afterwards. Usually the weather is an issue with snowy/icy roads and if that's the case this year, we're not going to attempt it. My sister will be out of town and who knows where my dad will be. We just saw my aunt & uncle so I think we can wait a while. It might be weird for just us to be here but I think it might be kind of nice too. I thought about trying to go see Marty again, but I can't afford it right now. Unless he's coming this way to visit his parents in Albuquerque (which is doubtful) then we'll just have a quiet Christmas here. My friend Kirsten and I will probably spend New Year's together like we have for the past 20 years or so.
We did go shopping on Friday against our better judgment. Kohl's was the worst with checkout lines extending all the way to the back of the store. We didn't go to too many places. We had lunch at Chili's and visited with my supper, then also went to Border's, and Sears so that my aunt could get a new washer and dyer.
We headed back today and now I'm waiting for my soup to heat up so I can try to get a little more food down today. I'm supposed to play tomorrow at church. I hope my issues are resolved or at least on hold then.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

A Small Break

Grad School work is done for the moment. Last night I finished my government investigation paper despite my total reluctance to get it done. I also submitted my book talk on Monday and my journals last Friday. The only things left that must be done are one more major paper due Dec. 9, journal responses due next week, and two small assignments due by Dec. 12. After that I will be free from Grad school stuff until January 20. I should make an "A" in my Children's Lit class. As for the Information Resources class... I have no idea at this point since my last three papers submitted have not been graded. That is very frustrating. I think I have a chance of doing well... but again, I really have no idea.
As far as regular school (job) stuff... I'm still perpetually behind. But I'm not going to worry too much about it right now. Things will get done when they get done. This week I'm going to read books that have nothing to do with any of my classes. Josh and I will be heading to Albuquerque sometime this afternoon. I need to get the house somewhat clean before I go, but I'm having motivational issues right now. I did get laundry started so that's a good start.
There's nothing new to report about Marty. Nothing much has changed since we made the relationship "official." We still pretty much talk almost daily either by phone or instant messaging. I know he still has concerns but I'm just going to give him the space and time he needs to work through them. I don't know when I'll see him again. Logically, he should be the one to make the next visit, but don't know if/when that will happen. I may see him again in January if I get to go to Orlando for the shot show.
Well, I better get moving and ready to go to Albuquerque. Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Saturday, November 22, 2008


My mp3 player broke a couple of weeks ago and I'm really bummed about it. I LOVED my player. I would play it in my car to and from work and I especially liked having it at Christmas time so I could play all my favorite songs without listening to the cheesy stuff on the radio. I used a subscription service for my music because I liked having the ability to download and listen to as many songs as I wanted to. I could try stuff out and see if I liked certain kinds of music and I only paid about $15 a month. I had 100's of songs on my player. Now I have nothing. And now I don't know what to do about getting another one. I'm checking out iPods but I don't like the idea of having pay .99 every time I want a song. That could easily add up and would certainly be more than the $15 a month I'm spending now. Then there's the cost issue... I cannot afford a full blown top of the line player right now. I also know that I need about 4GB of storage. I could get a refurbished player like the one I had but I worry about it having the same problem my old one does and then being out of luck again. I guess I could just ask for money for Christmas from my aunt and then use it to buy one.... but I want one now is my problem. I could upgrade my phone and get one that doubles as a player, but that means I have to switch music services. It also limits me in the amount of music I can store on it as most are only "upgradable" to 2GB. Too many things to think about and no resolution.

It's good to sleep in

And I mean really sleep in. After an actual full night's sleep and then some. I cannot remember the last time I enjoyed sleeping in with nothing that I had to specifically get up for. Oh sure, I did sleep in a little bit while on vacation, but the relationship dynamics made things somewhat different and I still got up fairly early most mornings. For once I feel somewhat refreshed.

I finished my journals last night and submitted them in time with an hour an ten minutes to spare. I probably could have continued to edit them, but I finally decided to just let it go and quit worrying about it. Again, probably not my best work, but we'll see what happens in terms of my grade. I have a high enough average right now that I don't think it would bring it down too much if I didn't make a 100. I am going to head out to Sonic shortly so that I can work on my book talk. I still need to read another book and then plan what I'm going to say, do, read etc. for the talk. That assignment is due on Monday. I also have to work on my government investigation paper this weekend of which I have done almost nothing. I have done some research, printed out materials, talked to my librarian and emailed our superintendent but haven't really focused on the assignment itself. I still haven't fully read aspects of the patriot act that I need to know. I think I won't be going to band on Monday unless by some miracle I finish the paper on Sunday.

Josh is gone to a speech tournament this weekend. I'm sure you're wondering why I'm not at one myself. Well this particular tournament is out of town and fairly expensive for us and my students would rather go to one in Dallas in a few weeks. They have to raise the money for it, however, and they have until after Thanksgiving to turn the money in. So we'll see what happens.

Well, I need to get going to Sonic and get my final book read. Just know that my coursework is almost over and I'll try to blog more regularly soon.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I'm procrastinating

I should be working on my journals right now. Instead, I'm finishing dinner (Taco Villa) and writing this blog. I still don't have any details to share on the trip. There's not much more to say. We had a nice time and some good talks and although we're still moving slowly (much to my chagrin) we're at least moving. I have pictures I'll try to post this weekend if I find the time. This is hell week for me in terms of grad school. Missing two days is taking it's toll. I have nine journals due tomorrow and I wrote three of them last night. Tonight I'm going to try to write the three most difficult ones and finish the rest tomorrow. This weekend I have to prepare for my book talk on Monday (which is also due on Monday) as well as get some heavy work done on a government investigation paper that is due Tuesday. After that I should be able to enjoy my Thanksgiving. We are going to Albuquerque leaving on Wednesday and returning on Saturday.
School was not fun today. I had to get on to students. I gave a pop quiz in 4th period because I was so mad. After school I had to go to the bank to deposit Josh's SSI checks which are no longer being direct deposited which is a pain. Then Josh and I went to Amarillo so I could get some ink for my printer and one last book that I needed to read. Now I've got to get started on my school work but I thought I'd at least post a little something since it's been a while.

Monday, November 17, 2008

A status change

I have an official boyfriend now.  O.k. I know what you're thinking... "Didn't you already have a boyfriend... I mean you flew out to Florida to see this guy..."  or something like that.  Actually our status has been "not quite dating, but interested, and let's see where it goes, but not ready to commit..." or something like that.  I've been calling him my "not quite boyfriend" ever since he left this summer.  
But we talked last night.  Not as I had intended but it was kind of an emotional situation where I couldn't find the words to explain what was going through my head.  Can you imagine that?  Me without words to say?  
There's a lot going on in Marty's head right now and for him to tell me that I could call him my boyfriend now is a huge step indeed.  The distance is still an issue, but he's going to stop using it as an excuse like he has been doing for the last four years.  There are still many other issues that we have to get through, many which frighten the hell out of me. 
I don't know if this made a difference for Marty last night but it has made a difference for me for some time.  In one of my priest's homilies he talks about love stating that it's not really a "feeling."  He says that love is ultimately a decision.  It's a choice one makes.  People get caught up in the emotions but love really comes down to just making a decision to love another and then doing what it takes to bring happiness to them.  Although there wasn't really much of a homily at yesterday's service, the deacon did make a statement that also hit home for me when he talked about love involving risk.  
I made a choice a long time ago to love Marty in spite of my best efforts to avoid it.  Although I had to put it on hold for a long time, I never really stopped loving him.  Am I taking a huge risk once again?  Absolutely.  Is he going to make the decision to love me?  I don't know, but he took a huge step last night so at least there's a chance.  Are we there yet?  No, but at least the hope is there.  And now I have a boyfriend.  

Friday, November 14, 2008

Outta Here!

Today's the day! My flight leaves at 5:24 p.m. and I arrive in Miami at 11:15 p.m. I can't tell you how anxious I am. I don't know if I'm more excited about just getting away or about seeing Marty. O.k. it's probably more about Marty. Well, I gotta get to school early and get a million things done before leaving. There's just not ever going to be enough time it seems.
Don't know if I'll blog while I'm done there. Can't give you too many details but will try to throw you a few bones.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Another year

Josh and I celebrated another birthday. Today wasn't really much of a celebration but it wasn't too bad for a birthday. Josh and I went to dinner last Friday. We have a tradition of going out to eat somewhere each year. The last few years it has been at the Olive Garden and it was no exception this year. Saturday we had another speech tournament. My team won first place sweepstakes for the third time in a row so far this year. On Sunday I played at church at the 8:30 Mass and thought I played horribly. I had reed issues and just couldn't get it together. Oh well, hopefully it wasn't too noticeable. Sunday afternoon was spent doing a little cleaning and then I went to Josh's orchestra concert. After that I spent time working on my storytime presentation that I had to do today.

This morning I got up much earlier than normal and got to school by 7:20. I got some things ready for my presentation and then at 10:00 I headed over to an elementary school. I did my presentation for a class of first graders. I read two stories which were The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Charlie the Caterpillar. Do you see a theme? I included a poem with hand gestures and an art activity for the students. I spent about 45 minutes there and I think it went well. I'm not sure elementary kids are my cup of tea, but I think I did what I needed to do for the project.

After that, I came back to school and my 5th period students brought cupcakes to class for my birthday and they sang "Happy Birthday" to me in both English and Spanish. It was a fairly normal school day after that. Marty sent me a text message telling me Happy Birthday and then I talked to him briefly on the way home from school.

Once home, I made dinner, typed my storytime report and then had to go to band. I just got back a little while ago and talked to my aunt who called to wish me a Happy Birthday as well. She sent me a check in the mail with a card which will be great to have for my upcoming trip. Josh was supposed to get a card as well, but it didn't make it today. I hope it didn't get lost in the mail.

Now I'm going to finish my storytime report and then call it a night. I have a lot more I should do, but I am already tired so I am going to try to get to bed soon. Just 3 days, 19 hours and 37 minutes until my flight on Friday! (Not that I'm counting.)

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Counting days

Marty tells me that I shouldn't count the days until I leave because it will make it seem longer. But I can't help it. I put a counter on my igoogle page that counts down for me. It gives me hope knowing that I'll be in Florida in less than 9 days now. School is the same old stuff. I wanted to say something else, but I should keep this a family friendly blog. I'm sick of all the meetings, the acronyms, the accountability, the lazy kids, the lesson plans, the duty, the lunacy of it all. More and more am I realizing that getting my library degree is probably a very wise move on my part. I have to get out of the classroom before insanity sets in.
So in other news today. My mp3 in broken I believe. Something weird happened on the way home and now it won't start up. That makes me very unhappy. I got a letter from social security in the mail today stating that they have decided that Josh should receive his checks directly rather than me being a payee. I guess that's because he's turning 18, but he's still in school so he'll get checks until he graduates. So it just makes things more inconvenient, but I guess as long as the checks are coming it will help us manage until June. At that point, I'll have the car paid off and then I'll just have to deal with another payment for about 7 more months so it will be tight.
Last weekend at the Fallback Festival I won a silent auction item. I bid on this basket of goodies that had snacks from all over the world. I mostly wanted it because of the bottle of wine in it. I haven't opened the wine yet, but am considering it tonight. But it has all these weird things in it that Josh and I are trying out. Some are quite tasty like the chocolate mint cookies. Some are a little strange. There's also a lot of dark chocolate items and neither of us are fans of that so it's getting pushed aside until I can find someone that likes it.
I turned in a 3rd grad school paper and my second set of journals. Now I've got to read through 72 pages of other's journals and start posting comments. I still also have to write two more journals about two other books relatively soon. I'm still making an A at this point but I'm starting to struggle now and I know I'm not producing my best work. I should be reading instead of blogging of course, but I felt bad that I have posted in a few days. But I guess I've wasted enough time. Better go get busy and try to keep that grade up.