Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Back Home

I don’t feel good about the interview.  I got stumped on a stupid question and can’t believe I didn’t have a decent answer – at least not until I was about an hour away heading home.  This was a preliminary interview and I don’t think they were very impressed.  I doubt that I’ll be called back for a second interview with the principal.  But at least that means I don’t have to think about moving.  On the positive side, I jotted down the questions that were asked after I left so that I can work on them for future interviews. 

I started getting a headache on the way back and it took about an hour and half to get it to go away.  I stopped for lunch in Wichita Falls and got it to go, but I stopped for about twenty minutes at a rest stop just to close my eyes for a bit.  I got a mountain dew and after the brief cat nap, I was able to make it the rest of the way home. 

Tomorrow is a day of work for me.  I have inservice for summer school.  No kids, just preparation.  I have plenty to do.  I’m going to take 1/2 an ambien shortly and go to bed.  I’m feeling a bit let down over the interview – but nothing that a good night’s sleep hopefully can’t fix. 

Monday, May 30, 2011

Made it to McKinney

I’m here after a 6 hour drive with one potty break, and one stop at Sonic for lunch to go.  I need to make a quick run to Target to get a notepad for my questions tomorrow and to jot down the stuff I want to remember for the interview.  I think I’m prepared as I can be.  I will go over potential questions tonight and just hope for the best tomorrow.  I’m debating what to do for dinner tonight.  I’ve decided I want Mexican food.  There is an El Chico here – which is my favorite Mexican restaurant, but I think I might just go for a burrito from Chipotle.  That way I won’t be tempted to have a margarita.  It’s no fun to drink alone. 

Matthew is on another kick of ignoring me.  I thought I might not have heard from him for a few days because he was going up to Indiana, but no, he’s been home.  I called him last night because they were evacuating the area where he lives due to fires and wondered if he was home.  Sure enough, he was home, but the area was a little more north.  But I’m not taking it personally – I’m realizing that is just who he is.  And since we’re just friends, it doesn’t matter if he makes contact or not. 


I went to Target and got the notepad I needed and some makeup – I figure it couldn’t hurt to add mascara to my makeup regime.  I went to Chipotle for dinner and it was quite yummy.  After that, I headed to the small town where the interview will be.  I drove around to get a feel for the place.  It seems like a small community that is experiencing a lot of growth. There are older homes in the central part of the town, but there are large modern housing additions surrounding the town.  The high school just opened in 2007 and a new elementary opened in 2008. 

I’m anxious for the interview tomorrow, but hope it goes well.  I did more research tonight so we’ll see how it goes.  I just took 1/2 an ambien so I’ll be sure to sleep tonight.  I don’t want to have interviewing nightmares. 

I’ll try to give you a report after the interview.  I have to head back home so I won’t get in until sometime tomorrow evening.  The ambien is starting to kick in so I think it is time to say good night.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

School’s Out!

Well, school is done – technically.  No students for a week at least.  I’ll be teaching a week of credit recovery for English starting June 6.  Yesterday was a long day.  I got to school at 8 a.m. and didn’t get home until 10 p.m.  It was a work day, but I didn’t really get any work done until after about 2:00.  When I got to school I found out that I had to get grades in by 11:00 which was really 9:30 for me since I had to go to graduation practice.  We had an end of year picnic and then I headed back to school.  I had to take care of paperwork stuff first and then I continued working on my room.  I spent much of the day cleaning out a large back storage area.  It had become the catch-all for just about anything and everything.  I have tons of empty boxes in there that I’m holding on to in case of a job change.  I cleaned until around 6:00 and I went to pick up some dinner and then went to graduation.  It was nice to see all my senior students and I got lots of good pictures. 

It was lovely to sleep in this morning.  I still find myself yawning, however.  Perhaps a nap is in order.  I had planned to give myself some actual vacation time this weekend, but I have to go to up to school because I need to get my t-shirt order file.  So I’ll probably do some cleaning again.  My house is a wreck though.  I’ve forgotten that it’s more difficult to keep a house clean when Josh is home.  I’m bad enough on my own.  With the craziness of school, late hours, and filling out numerous job applications, I haven’t had time to do laundry or dishes. 

I’m not sure how I feel about the upcoming job interview.  A part of me is scared that I might actually get offered the job and then have to deal with the internal debate of whether to make such a big move.  Then there’s the part that thinks I should step out of the box I’ve been living in for 20+ years where I haven’t really taken any risks.  I’ve lived in the same city since 1988.  But then again, I don’t know if I’ll even get offered a job at this point so no use worrying about things until something happens. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Busy, busy

It is just that time of year.  School is winding down and I have a million things to do.  I went up and worked at the school on Saturday and intended to go up again on Sunday but I just didn’t do it.  I almost even skipped out on church.  Instead of working, I downloaded the next Lee Child book and read it.  I also worked on the t-shirt design for nationals.  Monday was the last regular day of school and I had a band concert that night.  Josh and his girlfriend came, but Matthew didn’t because he went home from work early with a migraine.  I was up until midnight working on the t-shirt design on Monday.  Tuesday was the beginning of semester tests so I had the entire morning off at school so that is when I got most of it finished.  I still had to make some changes and couldn’t do it until I got home.  After school I had to go to technology training for school.  I had to do it again today and will tomorrow as well.  Friday is graduation.  I really won’t have much of a break though. 

I was called yesterday for a job interview.  I’m going to Melissa, TX to interview for a librarian position next week on Tuesday.  I’ll drive down on Monday and possibly go to six flags – still debating that – and then stay in McKinney, TX that night.  I have to come back after the interview because I have inservice for summer school on Wednesday.  Then I work summer school for a week starting the following Monday and then go to Dallas the week after that for nationals.  I’ll have a few days home before I head to Austin for a personal trip at the end of June.  Not sure what is in store for July – it will depend on what happens with the job hunt. 

So that’s my life right now – just busy.   I hope to post more often when it slows down a little.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Catching up

I caught up on grades yesterday evening.  I spent today figuring out which students may be eligible for exemption from the semester test.  I still have one major project to grade, but students have until Friday to finish it.  Tonight I need to get my semester test for the speech classes done along with a review.  But Idol is on so I’m watching it instead. 

Josh got home sometime yesterday, but I didn’t see him until this afternoon.  We went to the grocery store and I realize I’m going to go broke having him home for the summer.  I spent $146 at the store.  I usually spend about $60 when I shop for myself.

Surprisingly, now that I’ve resolved being “just really good friends” with Matthew, he has made more contact with me.  Of course now that I say that, he’ll probably ignore me for a week.  But it won’t bother me if he does.  Just that acceptance lifted a heavy burden from my psyche. 

So other than school, there’s not much to report these days.  I’m enjoying watching idol with Josh and his friend right now.  Probably the first time Josh has watched it. 

Sunday, May 15, 2011

My Weekend

I left school around 12:30 on Thursday and drove to Denton.  Drive was uneventful.  Rain into some rain just before Decatur.  I figure it was because I had washed my car on Wednesday.  I got to the hotel around 6:45, checked in and unloaded my car.  Josh was running late so I watched American Idol until he arrived.  I was very disappointed that James went home.  When Josh got there we went to dinner at Johnny Carino’s.  Josh left early Friday morning and I went to pick up Matthew at the airport around 7:00 a.m.  It took almost an hour to get there in traffic, but it wasn’t horrible.  We went to breakfast after I picked him up.

Graduation was long and rather anticlimactic.  It was interesting, however, that our guest speaker was Dr. Phil.  Yes – that Dr. Phil.  Turns out that he got his PhD from UNT.  That part was relatively interesting.  I had to be in line by 2:00 and then we walked in at 3:00.  There ceremony took 2 1/2 hours.  We didn’t get out of there until around 5:45.  I skipped the reception and we went to dinner at El Chico’s.  I had three margaritas and talked to Matthew about our relationship.  Basically he still isn’t sure about anything but we’ve defined our relationship as “really good friends who go out from time to time.”  So it is a relief to not get worked up about things. 

We still had a nice time while down there.  On Saturday we went to downtown DFW and walked around a bit.  We had a drink at a bar there and then headed back to the hotel.  Saturday evening I took him to the Water Gardens in Fort Worth and then we had dinner at a really nice steak house.  It was expensive, but thankfully Matthew paid.  Then we went to see a play at a local community theatre.  It was really good. 

We drove back today.  Since I did all the driving in Dallas, he volunteered to do the bulk of the driving today.  That was nice.  Josh said that his conference in LA has been awesome.  He heads back tomorrow. 

I cannot believe school will be out in two weeks.  I’m not quite ready, but at the same time I am.  I’m debating filling out some applications for jobs that are far away from home in south Texas. 

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


I don’t know how many of you remember the MASH game.  It was popular with girls in junior high to discover who you would marry, where you would live, the car you would drive, and your future career.  As I was stumbling through websites tonight, I found an online MASH game.  Here are my results:


If you want to play yourself here’s the link.

I’m getting ready for my trip tomorrow.  I cleaned out my car, filled the tank, and washed it today.  I have laundry in the washer and am getting ready to pack.  I need to steam my robe and figure out what shoes to take. 

Matthew did call last night so we’re on for this weekend.  Marty was going to come up as well, but he is having to work on Friday.  It’s probably for the best.  That could be an awkward situation.  I still plan to talk to Matthew and attempt to define our relationship such that it is. 

I didn’t get much sleep last night.  I couldn’t fall asleep for a while and then we had storms roll through and my dogs were going a bit nuts so I had to let them in my room.  Hopefully I will sleep better tonight.  I might go for 1/2 an ambien if I don’t feel sleepy around 10:00. 

Josh is planning a trip to Burbank, CA on his own in June.  He is going to a one day sound conference.  Since he can’t rent a car because he is too young, he will have to take taxis.  He is becoming an adult really fast.  I’m not sure if I’m ready for this.

Well, I need to get busy packing so I’ll have everything I need for tomorrow. 

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


 I know most of my students are ready to be out of school already, but I want to be done just as much as they do.  I just don’t care any more.  I don’t want to grade papers or do anything.  But I still have much to do.  But everything is taking a back seat until I graduate.  Just another day and a half of work for me this week.  I leave for Denton on Thursday afternoon.  Josh will meet me there and then he flies out to LA on Friday morning.  Matthew is supposed to fly in Friday morning, but since I have yet to hear from him this week, I’m not certain of anything.  Marty was going to come up but he has to work on Friday.  I guess that means it won’t be awkward.  Assuming that Matthew does come to graduation, I do plan to talk to him about our relationship status. 

I’m going back to Austin at the end of June, but Marty probably won’t be there as he will be going to his daughter’s graduation in Connecticut.  I’m going down for my uncle’s mother’s 93rd birthday.  He is going to pay for Josh and I to fly down and pay for the hotel room as well.  I will pay to rent a car for the few days we are down there.  Josh and I will probably go to San Antonio and go to Sea World or Fiesta Texas. 

Tonight I should have worked on my school budget sheets that are due by 4:00 p.m. tomorrow, but my motivation is greatly lacking.  I will just add it to my ever-growing to-do list at school.  Tomorrow after school I’m going to clean out and wash my car.  I need to steam my robe and dress.  I also need to do laundry and pack.  I want to be able to leave as soon as my class is finished at 12:30 on Thursday.

Saturday, May 07, 2011

Playing with fire

I had dinner with Marty last night.  Alone.  He picked up at the University around 9:30 and we came to the Chili’s near my hotel to eat.  And we talked.  One of the surprising things he told me was that his ex-wife told him that she thought he should get back together with me.  I think he wants to consider the possibility – but like a typical male, he isn’t certain and thinks he needs to have all his life ducks in a row before making such a decision.  I told him that life is too short to wait until life is perfect before you pursue a relationship because life is messy and sometimes it is just easier having someone to help you along.  He asked me why I would even consider getting back together with him.  I told him that I’m not sure that I would, but there’s also the fact that I like him; he makes me laugh; I enjoy spending time with him; and we have always had good chemistry together. 

But we also talked about my relationship with Matthew such that it is.  I told him my feelings and frustrations about it and he understands that I have to get that settled.  And even if I do settle things and let Matthew go, I’m still not certain that I’d give Marty the chance to pursue me again.  And he would have to pursue me – I’m done with the chasing game.  Spent too much time and money on that and all I got was a broken heart.  I think I once told someone to slap me if I ever considered going back to Marty.  Perhaps I need a good slap right now. 

Well, we are about to head home.  Our student missed semi-finals by two speaker points.  But at least we are going to get back at a decent hour today and I’ll have all of Sunday to recover. 

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Busy Day in Austin

Not really that busy, but seemed long.  I was able to sleep in this morning which was quite lovely.  I will get to do the same thing tomorrow.  We left the hotel around 10 and went to the capitol to take a tour.  We also sat in briefly on a session of the house and a session of congress.  They weren’t doing anything exciting though.  They were reading resolutions which are typically pointless.  After that we went to eat lunch and then to Book People which is a large independent bookstore.  Of course I can’t go into a bookstore without buying something.  I bought a book of short stories about geeky teens.  Seemed interesting so I bought it.  After that we came back to the hotel.  I was tired but couldn’t really take a nap.  Finally heard from my friend Brent about dinner plans so we decided to meet up around 7:30.  We had a speech meeting at 6:30 and it was so frustrating because speech people are long-winded.  They go on and on about pointless things – especially the thank-you’s to people.  So we were late heading out to dinner, but made it around 7:50.  Dinner was great.  I got to see both my friend Brent and Marty.  Yes, that Marty.  The ex-boyfriend.  We reminisced and had some great conversations.  When we left and I got in the suburban, my co-teacher told me “You still like that boy.”  And it is true.  I still like Marty.  I always have.  He makes me laugh.  I enjoy spending time with him.  I just can’t date him any more.  Which is sad – because we often times have a great chemistry.  I just can’t handle the ex-wife thing and as much as he denies, it – he can’t let go.  He once again claims he has had his fill of her, but when she has another crisis, he’ll be up there lickety-split. 

In the interesting news category, Marty and Brent may come to my graduation next week.  That could be interesting with Matthew being there as well.  Also interesting is the fact that Matthew did not come up once in the conversation tonight.  And I didn’t really think about him.  My good friend Patrick sent me a message on facebook regarding Matthew and I’ve been meaning to respond to him but just haven’t had time.  He feels that Matthew doesn’t appreciate me (which I agree with) and that I should move on (of which I am uncertain).  I think if I truly had other prospects and an active social life, I would just say “forget it” and let him go.  But since that is not a reality at the moment and I do get to go out with him once in a while, I’m hanging on.  But I have that sense of detachment because it feels like he could drop me any second.  I get the feeling that he thinks of me as a temporary fix until he moves on to something better (namely a job back in Indiana) and therefore won’t commit to anything more than going out once in a while, holding hands, and kissing hello and good-bye.

I think I’m going to get to bed and enjoy sleeping in again tomorrow.  It has been a rather relaxing trip thus far.  Coming in a day early really makes a difference. 

Monday, May 02, 2011

Ready for school to be done

I’m ready for school to be finished, but at the same time, I’m not ready at all.  I don’t want to talk about yearbook and all that needs to be done, but I hope it will get there eventually.  My students are doing research project right now but I’ll be gone Wednesday through Friday this week so I’m planning on leaving a movie for them.  I still need to watch it though.  I guess I will do that tomorrow night as I work on packing.  I’ll be headed to Austin for the UIL state tournament.  I’m excited that I’ll get to see my friend Brent and probably even Marty. 

Matthew canceled on me yesterday.  I rather expected it.  I just had a feeling he would.  So I’m going to give him some space.  But I used the time to work on the ad for the National Tournament book which is good because I was up until about midnight finishing the ad.  Then of course I tweaked it even more today.  I finally sent it off when I got home this evening.  Now I have to do a t-shirt design and my wonderful idea isn’t quite coming out as I’d planned.  I have a few days to work on it so we’ll see. 

I went to band rehearsal tonight and I realize I really need to practice.  Not sure when that will happen.  I didn’t really sleep much last night so I’m going to head to bed and read for a bit and try to get some sleep without my sleep aids.  I should be tired enough.