Affirmations

Did you know that I am beautiful, sexy, fun, interesting, sensual and a joy to be with? For the longest time I would never have associated myself with any of these words. Call it low self-esteem, bad marriage, or cynicism but I never thought of myself as something special. I have to say that my divorce was a blessing not only in the fact that I got out of a bad relationship, but I've grown and discovered things about myself that I couldn't believe were true. My ex-husband used to call me beautiful and sexy all the time, but I found it hard to believe when he was always eyeing some other woman. When I started the dating process, I started to make myself believe that I was indeed a good catch and I had just made a bad choice. I figured if that were true, I would find someone that thought the same thing and I'd live happily ever after. It turned out that several men saw something special in me. I really enjoyed the dating process. I felt wanted, pretty, and interesting enough to keep everyone's attention. And it wasn't just Steve, Martin, and Patrick. There were several others that I never hooked up with or mostly just chatted with online. And even today though my profile has changed to "Single, Not Looking" I get guys hitting on me and telling me how good-looking I am. Part of me still finds this hard to believe. I think the most I ever thought of myself was "cute". But now I'm learning that perhaps I am beautiful. And maybe it's on both the inside and out. Maybe beauty comes from a peace within. I am now at a place where life is good. I have a great job, a great son, a good home, good health, and a wonderful boyfriend. (Wait... gotta knock on more wood) Although I hated the process of breaking things off with both Patrick and Steve, it made me realize what kind of impact I had made on them. So, yes. I am a damn good catch. Martin was the lucky one to win my heart. (Though I'm still aghast that it happened, I'm not questioning it) When all this began, I decided that I would not get involved again until my heart let me know that it was right. It has. It feels good and it feels right. I'm happy. I'm feeling true happiness perhaps for the first time. Well, at least in a long time. And it feels GREAT.