Going with my heart

Well, after all the contemplations I've decided to go with my heart and see where it leads me. I've never been really afraid to go with my heart, but generally my head leads or at least gets in the way sometimes. But this one really hit me out of the blue and despite my best logic the feelings aren't going away.
Marty is a guy I met in high school. He asked me to go to homecoming the night before at 9 p.m. my senior year. He was the first guy to ever actually call me up and ask me out. We dated for about a month and a half after that and I remember that I broke up with him, but I can't really remember why. I think it had something to do with perhaps a crush on someone else or just the fact that we really didn't know each other or something. We met up again later after graduation when he had his own apartment and had some fun, but nothing serious once again. I have since found out that I was his first true love which really quite surprised me. Since that time I had only seen him on one other occasion which was about 13 years ago when Josh was a baby. He called me once around 1998 when he was married and I was getting married. Then out of the blue, he emailed me via classmates around October.
He came to visit in Feb/March this year. I enjoyed seeing him then and we had some fun, but I wasn't really quite as interested as he was in me at that point. I was still ready to date, sow some wild oats, and just enjoy my freedom.
Then he came to see me again this past week. I'd still been dating and getting involved to some degree, but still nothing serious on my part. I still can't quite put my finger on what happened or if it was just some kind of realization of how right things seemed. He never pushed me into feeling anything and remained patient, but all of a sudden my heart started talking again. It's truly been so long since my heart has spoken up. I can't even decipher what it's saying completely, but something is there and it's a good feeling.
Despite the big hurdles involving him being in the coast guard for the next 6 years, I have to take a chance.
I'm sorry for what this has done to Patrick. I know that he was falling pretty hard, but I just wasn't there with him. And he knew that. I had to be honest about it all. It wouldn't be fair to him or me and I couldn't pretend to have feelings and be romantic. It would be playing games and I'm not into that. (At least not any more) He seems to have taken the news well and I hope that we can remain friends. Now I just have to deal with Steve.
That's my update for now.