Monday, January 03, 2011

Just Need More Time

It was a very long day today.  Luckily it was a work day at school and we didn’t have any students.  But even with the work day, I didn’t even come close to getting everything done.  I still don’t have access to half my yearbook drive files.  But I didn’t have time to work on the yearbook anyway.  I spent today ordering stuff for the upcoming yearbook fundraiser, getting stuff reading for my classes tomorrow, and grading this year’s staff’s yearbook page designs (I stayed at school until 8:45 this evening).  I did have a nice surprise when my dad called me around 11:00 and asked if I was free for lunch.  He was coming through town around 12:30 so we made plans to eat.  I called Matthew to see if he would be free and he was so he joined us.  It was a nice lunch and I was glad Matthew was able to come and meet my dad.  I still sense a distance in him and it is starting to bother me.  I know it isn’t my imagination.  My thought is that he is still very conflicted about dating me because he isn’t certain that he wants to fall for me because he still doesn’t know if he wants to stay where he is.  The problem is that though he tries to act like everything is o.k., I know it isn’t and I know I can’t do anything about it.  I’ll try to talk to him about it tomorrow, but not sure if I really want to.  I don’t want to push him for a commitment or anything, but I do want him to be able to open up with me about his fears and concerns.  I’m not even going to pretend it’s my imagination because I would have to say that my intuition is right 99.4% of the time. 

My Kindle came today, but I haven’t had much chance to enjoy it.  When I got home, I heated up dinner and did more school work for about an hour.  I finally got the Kindle charging and downloaded a book, but now it’s late so I don’t really have time to read.  How I wish that everything that is on my plate right now would just be done.  I could really use an “EASY” button right now.

1 comment:

Summer said...

I'm sorry to hear that things aren't quite right in your relationship. It would be great if men could just say what they were thinking/feeling, instead of leaving us constantly wondering.