Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Much too busy again

I feel like I will never catch up with all the things I have to get done. I bring stuff home but never actually get to it. I don't know why I have a block about doing schoolwork at home. I finished reading a book tonight instead. I wish I had time to do that in the evenings. Just read. I am really unhappy with my job right now. I just had a sense of dread on Monday at school. I should be in a job I love and I'm not right now. There are parts I like but most of it I don't. I guess I'm still trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be when I grow up. You'd think someone that is almost 40 would have figured that out by now.
When I start writing a blog these days I start out feeling like there's a lot I want to say and now it's nothing. I just don't have the energy to put everything out there it seems. I'm getting that itchy feeling of wanting to run away again. Start over somewhere new. New place, new job, new life. Problem is that running away doesn't generally solve whatever issues we might be running from. I know this... but the itch is still there. But my life will probably be as it always is... same thing. I shouldn't have that longing for something "different" though because sure enough... it will come and it will be nothing like I envision, expect or want. So I guess I should just buckle down and appreciate what I've got, huh? My life is good. It is decent. But I want more. I'm not sure what exactly I want more of though. More time? More love? More friends? More travel? All of the above?


Andrew said...

I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up! I know exactly how you're feeling about your job. I felt that way about the University. It was such a tedious job.

We are going to have to get Amazon Kindle 2's and read, read, read!

ellesu said...

Oh, you are so right in saying that running away doesn't solve the issues we might be runnig from. I've found that out (again and again).

It took me a long time to figure out the meaning of the saying, "Wherever you go -- there you are." I understand it now. Here's hoping you figure out what you want to run to.

Leann said...

Oh Annabel. We are kindred souls.