Will the real Marty please stand up?

Well my trip was overall good. Was interesting at times. Frustrating at times. And enlightening at some point.

Here's the synopsis:

Saturday: arrived at 3:15. Marty was late, but he brought flowers so I couldn't be mad.
Sunday: Went to Six Flags New England. Had loads of fun. Was chilly but didn't mind too much.
Monday: Stayed home while Marty went to work. Watched Sex & the City all day then the lovely fiasco that I already wrote about. (Made me pause to think some at that point)
Tuesday: Went to lunch with Prison Pete's editor. (Also noted in previous journal)
Wednesday: Marty was off the rest of the time starting on this day. Went to Mystic Seaport. Met his ex on this day and went with them to play pool (yes they play on the same team). Had another moment of seeing Marty in a different light. I kind of felt invisible during the pool night. I tend to be shy in these types of situations and so I spent the evening watching baseball (ugh) and the people play pool. For Marty, I guess it was just another night of pool, but I felt he was quite distant. I didn't even get a kiss from him all night. Yet when his ex left, he gave her (though it was a friendly type) kiss. That was icing on the cake for me. The thing is that Marty wasn't even aware of any of my feelings about the night. He was completely oblivious to anything being wrong until we left. When I told him about my feelings, he just didn't get it. I think after a few tears he started to understand and we talked through it. But again was a situation to be noted.
I tried to explain to him that he seemed different here than he did when he was in Texas. He didn't think so, but I think he was.
Thursday: Had the toe situation. Seems I probably only bruised it rather than break it. Went to the airport to pick up his ex-wife's boyfriend. Had dinner at his ex's house.
Friday: Went to Mystic Aquarium. Was fun. Went to the mall. Went to dinner with a friend of Marty's (who is also one of his ex's ex's if that makes sense). Outback. Was very good.
Saturday: Went to the movies with his girls and again... his ex and her boyfriend. We had the girls that evening. Watched movies. Made Marty take cough medicine.
Sunday: Took the girls back home and then hung out there (again) all afternoon. They cooked burgers and sausages. Marty and the ex and boyfriend played a golf game while I read a book.
Monday: Did laundry and packed. (Had to buy an extra bag to check because I bought too much stuff) Headed home on this day.

So out of the 10 days there, 4 were spent in some capacity with his ex. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't bad, but I guess more or less just seemed kind of weird. She was nice to me. She and Marty tended to nag each other incessantly. She didn't seem encouraging about us stating that the way he is now was the way he was 10 years ago. Even told me to run at one point.

What I discovered on this trip.

I still love Marty. I'm still in love with him.
Marty still lacks some maturity and sensitivity.
I know I can't change him.
He will have to want to change himself.
He does have the potential.
Marty is a nice guy. Maybe too nice.
I can see why he and his ex broke up. I also kind of wonder why they did.
They're still close. But not in a romantic way.
His girls are still terrific.
Marty lacks patience... still.
He seems different at home than he was in Texas.
Part of it might have been the course of "wooing" me.
In Texas, he's more attentive to me and my needs.
Although he still doesn't have the romance gene, I think he's learning a little.
He still has more to learn though.
I sleep better when I'm with him.
I'm not looking forward to being away from him for a year.
But I will handle it.
Hopefully it will strengthen our relationship.
I know he's a loyal man and is honest. And that's two of the most important things I'm looking for this go round.
And now my head is spinning, so I'm going to stop for now.