Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Can Romance be Learned?

That's a valid question I think. Is it possible for a non-romantic person to become romantic? Or is romance just a trait that some people have and others don't? I was born with a romance gene. It is innate in my character. I'm a true blue romantic. I don't care for total sappiness, but a little romance here and there is necessary for me. I'm the type of person that does romantic gestures because I genuinely love someone and want to make them happy, put a smile on their face, make them feel special, and make them feel loved. I also hope that sometimes my partner takes it as a cue to reciprocrate once in a while. It doesn't necessarily need to be an equal amount. I understand that men in general don't have the romance gene. Most don't understand romance. There are a few exceptions, but it's not quite the norm. I've experienced a variety of romance during my dating tenure. There was the guy that I met via the personals that sent me roses before I even met him. Of course this is the same guy that ended up dumping me by just not calling for two months. I've received my share of flowers throughout the years. But it's rare that they ever come as a surprise. And men don't get that. They shouldn't be sent only when they're in the doghouse. I prefer the out of the blue, just becuase they were thinking of me reason. And romance isn't all about sending flowers and buying gifts. Sometimes it's the simplest of things. A note, a card, a special way of saying "I love you." It can even be as simple as doing the dishes without asking. It's really anything that goes a little above the same old stuff and is done just because you realize that your partner would appreciate it, be surprised by it, love it, and realize how special they are to you. But it does take effort. I think it's a matter of prioritizing and keeping your partner in the forefront of your thoughts. Yes, life happens and it's sometimes hard to remember, but there should be times every now then where you think "What can I do to make my partner feel special today?" Maybe it's because they're blue or maybe it's just because you love them so very much. Romance and dating isn't something that should happen just before marriage and shouldn't stop the moment you say "I do." But it does need to happen. At least for me it does.
Is it something that can be learned? I hope so.

1 comment:

Little Pieces of Me said...

I also was born with the romantic gene. I think most women are. I don't like things to be extremely sappy, but maybe just a little every now and then. I always try to do romantic things for my partner, because I want him to feel special, to feel loved and appreciated. Unfortunately, he was not one of the guys that was blessed with receiving the romantic gene. Or maybe guys view it as a curse. I don't know. Anyway, as for this particular guy, he rates about a 2 on a list from 1-10 of romantic-ness. (definately don't think thats a word!) Sometimes this is very frustrating because I want to do these things for him, but yet he doesn't see the need to do them for me. Over the time that we've been together (it'll be 2 yrs in November)he has gotten a little bit better. Not much, but perhaps he is like 2.5 or 3 now. So yes I think there's some hope, maybe just a tiny spark, but its still there ready to be ignited.