My aunt has cancer. Breast cancer to be exact. This is the crazy aunt that I was payee for. The one the for whatever reason is mad at me and now doesn't want anything to do with me. I think for some reason, she blames me for her stint at the state hospital. (Which was her own doing by changing her medication and going off the deep end) I was quite relieved to not be her payee any more except for the horrible way she went about deciding that. (Clearing out her bank account before checks had cleared) But that was taken care of and now it's not my problem any more. But she's still holding a grudge. And now she has serious medical issues and she's completely abandoned the family she has here locally. She has informed her son, David, that she doesn't want me or my dad to know anything about her medical status. David did say today (before she told him not to) that her cancer had spread to her lymph nodes. That doesn't sound good. She had a full mastectomy today. But she's made her bed and she must now lie in it.
Problem is that I was going to try to reach out and be there for her. Send her flowers. Ask if I can do anything and then David tells me all the crap about her "wishes".
So it's a bit irritating. Part of me gets angry at the shallowness of it all and the fact that she makes things up in her mind about they way we supposedly "treat" her. It seems to me that if I were diagnosed with a life-threatening disease, I would reach out to my family and friends regardless of petty differences. But that's her deal and I must wash my hands of it. What bothers me is now that I'm reading the book on Catholicism, part of me wants to do what I guess would be the right thing and reach out and be forgiving and loving, but part of me is angry at the same time with the way she's acting. So I'm tormented once again. But I am finding the Catholic book very interesting and informative. It does raise a lot of questions, but it has answered many of them as well.
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2 comments:
Sorry to hear about your aunt. Family problems can be a major drain, I know. If there's anything I can do, let me know.
I understand family problems, more than I'd like too. There is never a clear or acceptable answer for all involved. Criticism runs rampant. But, being a nurse, I do think that your aunt needs her family now, whether she would agree is another subject. I think, and what I think really doesn't matter, that you should reach out to her, once a week, two weeks, month. No one should go through this alone and angry. Hopefully, she will accept your kindness, but if she doesn't, you'll know that you tried. This and $3.95 will get you a tall latte at Starbucks. Best wishes to you!
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