Saturday, February 18, 2012

An emotional day

Work was busy yesterday as always.  I’m furiously trying to spend another $5000 on library books, but it takes time.  I had classes in the library so I couldn’t always concentrate on my task.  I also had to take care of other things during the day as well.  But I’m getting closer.  I left about 5 minutes early to hurry home and pick up Josh to take him to the airport.  He wasn’t ready though.  He still hadn’t printed his boarding pass information and was backing up stuff on his computer.  Then my computer was having issues and couldn’t pull up the page he needed to print.  Instead of leaving at 4:45 as planned, we didn’t leave until 5:00.  Traffic at 5:00 on US 281 is very slow going.  But we made it to the airport an hour and a half before take-off.  We said a hasty good-bye and then he was off.  I had a bit of a cry once I pulled away from the airport.  I didn’t think I would get so emotional, but I realized that Josh is going halfway across the world and I wouldn’t see him again for 4 months.  I won’t even hear that he made it until sometime Sunday.  I’m still excited for him, but I will continue to worry until I hear from him.  Luckily I have Matt to keep me distracted. 

After I dropped Josh off at the airport, I headed home to let the animals out and then went to see Matt.  He told me that he read my blog and that I worry too much.  I already know this, but I assured him that I’m not really feeling insecure about him – it is just a matter of shaking past experiences.  He reiterated that I haven’t scared him away and that he’s not going anywhere.  He took me to dinner at Outback steakhouse (how fitting) and then we headed back to his place.  He was still feeling a little sick, but said he wanted my company so I stayed with him.  We listened to the music I gave him on his player and he told me how much he liked it.  And last night he told me he loved me for the first time.  I told him that I loved him as well.  He said he’s known for some time now.  I had the feeling he did, but he was holding back.

I hoped that someday I might find someone that loves me for me but didn’t know if it would happen.  But now I’m in San Antonio and found an amazing man who does. 

1 comment:

Leann said...

It is difficult letting go. He will grow from his experiences and be proud of himself. As a mother we worry. It is as ingrained as nurturing. Have faith that you have raised him well and he'll make the right choices while away and for the rest of his life. *hugs*

I can't begin to tell you how happy I am that you have found someone in our life to love you. *tears*