I guess it's my vacation

I'm back home and not sure what to do now. Oh, sure the house needs to be cleaned and there's plenty to do, but I guess I just don't want to do any of it right now. It's my first day and night here all by myself at the house. I guess this is how it will feel when Josh goes off to college in four short years. That is assuming I'm still on my own.

I don't know if I'll ever get remarried or find the right relationship. Things are going o.k. with Brian. I still enjoying spending time with him, but something is still nagging at me and I'm keeping him out of my heart. I guess I'm still seeing too many differences, not enough commonality, and certainly the distance is still a factor. He's still caught up in the idea that I'd eventually move to Dalhart and I can't seem to convince him how unlikely that would be. And maybe I'm still "thinking" too much, but I can't help it.

But it is my last bit of vacation for the summer. I'm going to director's band this afternoon. This evening I'm going to start cleaning the house and if the weather cooperates I'm going to start working on my garage this week. I really have to get that done.

I wrote Prison Pete a letter back and am sending him the updates from my blog that he hasn't read since his editor stopped sending him blog updates. I also printed out my entire blog for Brian to read. All 238 pages. It took about half an ink cartridge. I need to check out having it printed locally. I'd like to reread it myself.

Well, I guess I better get my butt in gear and get moving before the day is gone.