Saturday, July 30, 2005

Imperfect Order

So I'm cleaning out the garage... still. Actually the garage itself is technically cleaned out. It's just there's a whole pile of CRAP sitting in my driveway that I have to set up for a garage sale. I'd really like to just pack it up and have the charity people come get it, but I'm in a bit of a desperate state for money so I can buy Josh school clothes and what-not.
But... HALLELUJAH! My dad's stuff is gone. My friend Derek (a former boyfriend) returned my call this morning and he offered to help me. He is such a nice guy. So I was able to set up tables in the garage, sweep the floor and now I'm in the process of going through the pile of junk and setting it out in hopes to make a few bucks. Whatever doesn't sell is going to be shipped off to charity and when everything is said and done, I'll have a nice clean and clear garage!!!!
I really wish I had taken before pictures so I can show you the enormous amount of work that has gone into this. The majority of the work I've had to do myself. Josh & David finally helped today by getting the shed cleared out. Unfortunately there was a wasp's nest in the shed and David got stung. Not to be happy about that, but glad it was him and not me. I've never been stung by a flying type of insect and I have no desire to experience it.

Well on to the title of my post. I have these weird thoughts from time to time. O.k. so maybe you noticed a few in my blog like when I clean when a tornado is coming. But I do have even more weird thoughts that I don't always post. But here's this one. I feel like my life can never be in absolute perfect order. For one, I don't think that state can exist. But I know I could never have a house where everything was clean, in it's place, nothing is broken. I could never be in a state where I have no worries about anything. I could never be in a relationship that was just simply happy with no drama. I think if I ever found myself in such a state it would signal impending doom and I should make sure my will is in place.
But I also think that the fact that life isn't perfect makes it all the more interesting. Sure, I could do without some drama and hardships that I've had to deal with... but I know that going through those things makes me a stronger person. And I've had those moments where I want to scream at the top of my lungs "Give me a break, would ya?" And though I whine and moan and complain about my state of things from time to time, I really don't have it all that bad. Sure it could always be a little better, but I'm going to try to stop and appreciate the things I do have.
My aim for the moment though is to bring more order into my life than disorder. I've found that when things are more in order, life goes more smoothly. So even though I'll have a clean garage that I can park my car in and a clean house that I'm not embarassed to have company visit there will still always be something more to do. I guess as long as I'm working on my to do list I'm making progress.

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