Monday, January 02, 2006

Unable to sleep

I tried to go to bed at a fairly decent hour, but haven't been able to sleep yet. (probably because of that nap I took earlier today) Oh well. I decided to get up and write. Before logging online, I wrote two pages in my private journal about Marty. I don't know why I've been thinking about him quite a bit lately. Actually I probably do know why. It's because I'm on vacation and I have too much extra time.
I won't rehash what is in my journal here. I'm sure my readers are probably sick of reading my posts about him. But my profound thought in my journal was whether or not it was Marty I missed or simply the relationship. Don't know if I'll ever know the answer to that. I probably will never get the answers to all the questions about him that circle in my head from time to time. Despite not having any answers I hope that one day I'll really be able to let go.
O.k. enough of that. The other thing I did tonight was make a post secret card. I don't know if I'll ever send it in, but it was kind of freeing just making it and printing it out. I have thoughts for other cards that I'd like to make. Perhaps I'll do what some others have done and that is make the postcards and then just burn them. Maybe I'll make one about Marty. Not that I've held anything back in regard to him. I've pretty much laid it all out here in my blog. Part of my therapy, you know?
I'm debating whether or not I want to go in and work in my room tomorrow. I certainly could use two days of work to perhaps get caught up and get ready for the new semester. I guess I'll play it by ear. I have to get some other things done though. I have to send my letter to Prison Pete. I haven't been a very good pen pal lately, but I am going to send him my blog updates. Although my house is still clean (thanks to throwing my New Year's thing), I still have quite a bit of laundry to catch up on. Imagine that. Is that all I write about? How my house is never clean, the laundry is never done and I'm always broke? Mmmm... guess I need to find new material to write about huh? Maybe I can go a month without mentioning something of the sort or comment about Marty. I know.. promises, promises.

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