Best Date Ever

It’s been a very busy few days, but I’ll try to catch you up on things.  Of course, I’m supposed to be working on my research paper that is due tomorrow that I haven’t started writing, but what’s a little more procrastination?  I do have the research done and I’ve read through much of it – just need to start writing soon. 

So on Thursday, Matthew and I made plans to attend the football game together.  He met me at my house and I took him to dinner at a local restaurant.  He told me that he had asked the superintendent if it would be a problem for us to date.  She replied that it wasn’t a problem, but he had to be nice to me.  After dinner, we made a quick trip to Walmart so I could pick up some blank CDs to record music to listen to on our trip to Lubbock on Friday.  We went to the game and had a great time together.  I don’t think a lot of people noticed us as we sat more to the side.  It was a good game – really close, but our team won in the end.  We got back around 10:00 and he came in for a little while, but didn’t stay long since we both had to work tomorrow.  Turns out that he took Friday morning off.  I had insomnia issues again.

On Friday, I barely managed to get to school on time.  I had to pick up donuts for my yearbook staff as we were celebrating birthdays.  I also had to pack stuff to get ready for the concert after school.  Time seemed to go by slowly on Friday in anticipation of meeting Matthew after school.  I left school about 20 minutes early and ran to Walmart for a few things.  I met him at his apartment shortly after 4:00, changed shirts, updated make-up and jewelry and then we were on our way.  We listened to music, talked, and held hands on the way there.  We stopped at a little family restaurant in a town on the way and split a seafood dinner which was pretty good.  We got to the concert about an hour and half early which meant that we found a parking spot easily.  We had really good seats in the center back with a direct view of the stage.  We weren’t really close, but they had two video screens for close-up shots.  The concert itself was AMAZING.  I had such a good time being there.  It lasted 3 hours with a brief intermission.  We didn’t get out of the parking lot and headed back until midnight.  We got back to town at 1:45 a.m. 

******* My friend Carol should stop reading here *******

Ok, she is probably still reading, but I won’t say that I didn’t warn her.  So we get back to his apartment.  He had made the offer earlier in the week for me to stay there and he had offered to let me have his bed and he would sleep on an air mattress. 

I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t been tempted to take things further with him.  I know he has as well.  I wasn’t sure where things would go.  At one point he said that he wanted to take me to bed with him.  My thoughts were that I wanted to sleep with him, but not have sex.  Before I could get those thoughts out, he basically told me the same thing.  He said that as much as he wanted to ravish me, that in other relationships, he moved much faster and they didn’t work out.  I shared my thoughts with him as well which were similar. So it was agreed that I’d stay the night, but we would behave.  And we did.  Mostly.  Still kissed.  Still enjoyed being together.  Just maintained some sense of self-control.  For the moment. 

Ideally, If I were a perfect person with absolute self-control, I wouldn’t move so fast.  But I’m at least trying to wait until we are at a more committed point in our relationship.  Right now we are “dating.”  As to what that means exactly, I’m not sure.  We simply enjoy spending time together.  He makes me feel good.  I feel beautiful in his eyes.  I feel a sense of joy all the time.  I smile when I think of him. 

So I left this morning and got ready to go up to a local school for a speech tournament.  I visited with friends longer than I should have.  I intended to start reading through my research early this afternoon, but I didn’t get home until 3:00.  I ate some lunch and then was so tired that I napped for about an hour an a half. I’ve been reading and making notes off and on since about 5:00.  I have to get through the research and make a rough outline tonight.  I’ll type the paper tomorrow morning and then edit in the afternoon – I hope.  I also need to go up to school and leave my sub plans sometime tomorrow.  I guess I should get back to work now. 

Getting there slowly

I finished my paper with a little time to spare.  It was due by 11:55 tonight and I submitted it at 8:45.  I’m not completely happy with it, but then again, I don’t think I’ve ever been completely happy with any papers I’ve ever submitted.  I don’t think I’ll get a perfect score, but I don’t think I’ll lose a lot of points either.  It’s worth 10 points so if I get at least an 8, I’ll be happy.  The word count was supposed to be between 900 and 1100 words and mine was 1099.  Talk about cutting it close! 

Today was group picture day at school and I was thoroughly disappointed by the way things went.  I’m irritated with my principal who would not not take 10 seconds of class time to make an announcement to send students down for their pictures.  Several key students did not get in their group’s pictures because other teachers wouldn’t let them out of class.  This is despite the fact that I sent 3 emails about picture day within a week.  Oh well, it is over and I don’t have to worry about it any more. 

Last night I went to the school board meeting to take pictures of students getting awards.  Matthew and I went to dinner after the meeting.  We went to Pizza Hut and split a medium pizza.  Then we went back to his placed where we talked and of course did a bit of kissing.  He told me that the more time he spends with me that the more he likes me.  He also says he loves my smile and that I have expressive eyes.  I had been thinking about going to the football game tomorrow, but didn’t want to go if I couldn’t sit with him – thought it might be a bit awkward if he was wanting to try to remain a bit covert a little longer.  He surprised me by asking me if I wanted to go with him.  He also said that he would tell his boss (the superintendent) that we’d be going together as a date.  I’m excited to be spending so much time with him.  I just hope it is not at the expense of not getting my next paper finished!  I’m sure I’ll get it done.  I’ve printed all the research for it and will start going through it at school tomorrow.  I do need to buy a new toner cartridge soon though – the red button on the printer is blinking furiously, though it still prints the pages just fine. 

I’m still having some insomnia issues with waking up around 2:30 in the morning and not being able to get back to sleep right away.  I’m not sure what is going on with that, but it’s probably stress related.  I’m off to try sleep once again.

Overwhelmed again

I have two papers to write.  I started the first one on Friday with getting research and am still not finished.  I gathered more research on Saturday, read through it on Sunday and marked information and then started writing today.  It is only two pages typed, but for some reason I keep getting mental blocks in writing.  I don’t know if it is because I have too much information and can’t focus or if it is just difficult to write.  Tomorrow I am staying at the school to take pictures at the board meeting and then Matthew and I are going to dinner afterward. 

I have to turn the first paper in by Wednesday and then get the research done on my next paper that is due on Sunday.  The problem is that I want to go to the game on Thursday and then we have the concert on Friday.  That gives me only Saturday to really get the paper written so I can edit on Sunday. 

I’m going to take two personal days on Monday and Tuesday to try to finish last year’s yearbook.  I just don’t have the time during the week to work on it.  I have the personal days so I guess I might as well use them – even though I do plan to take more in the spring for my capstone exam and when I graduate. 

I had insomnia again last night.  I fell asleep just fine but woke up around 2:30 and couldn’t get back to sleep.  I finally drifted off shortly before 5:00 a.m. but then the alarm clock went off at 6:00.  I just took a benadryl tonight because I’ve been sneezing off and on all day and figured I need it to knock me out for tonight.  Well, I’m off to bed – will work on the paper tomorrow.

Hot damn!

Texted Matthew last night after finding out that our high school football team won this week 42-0.  At one point he asked me if I wanted to go to a concert next Friday.  I told him that I would love to.  I asked which concert and he said “The Eagles.”  I was shocked!  That show has been sold out for weeks but they rescheduled due to an illness and he said that he was finally able to get tickets.  I’m very stoked about going.  I haven’t been to a concert since Garth Brooks was still on tour in the early 2000’s. 

Today I’ve been doing research for my paper that I have to write by Wednesday.  I had high hopes of finishing it this weekend, but not moving very fast.  I printed a ton of articles today and finally narrowed my topic (I think), but haven’t read the articles.  My friend Mary called me early and invited me to a costume party tonight.  After weighing the option of writing a paper or going to a party, I decided to go to the party.  It will be a test of my socialization skills which are usually not very good.  But it also sounded like fun so I decided to just go.  I’m just going to use my magic 8-ball costume since it is already made. 

Josh is home for the weekend, but it is a very quick trip.  He got in around 9:00 last night and then had friends come over.  They were up until around 4:00 a.m. I think.  He slept in and I went to donut stop this morning to get him donuts – his favorite food.  I took him to Walmart and got him some socks, underwear, and a jacket and a few snack items.  He is now out on a date with his girlfriend (who is a senior in high school) and will be going to the school musical tonight.  He has to leave really early in the morning though.  He has to get back to Nacogdoches by 3:00 tomorrow for work. 

Well, I’m going to start reading a few articles before I have to get ready for tonight. 

Busy, busy

I actually finished homework that was due on Wednesday before I left school that day.  It was nice to go home without stressing over getting stuff finished.  Yesterday I had choir rehearsal at 7:00 so I didn’t start on homework until 9:15 or so.  I got a good start but then my cat insisted that it was time to go to bed by 10:15.  Matthew and I texted a little last night.  He lost about 4 hours of work yesterday due to a 3 second power outage at his building.  Today I finished my homework that was due tonight since I had plans to go out tonight.  We had a pep rally at the end of school and I had hopes to sneak out early, but we had a dictator principal staking out the back exit door.  The librarian and I finally sat down and started working on some cataloging stuff for the first time today.  It was a nightmare week with the library database (for the entire district) crashing, being unrecoverable, and the last backup was September 2.  So I left right after school and picked up my friend Pam and we headed to this Mexican food restaurant that serves Patron margaritas for a dollar.  I ate my weight in chips, queso, salsa, and fajitas and am a bit miserable.  So much for the diet.  Now I’m home in pajamas thinking of taking it easy, but trying to talk myself into at least getting some research done for my paper I have to write this weekend.  We’ll see what wins out.  Matthew is preparing for an audit, school board meeting, and public hearing next week so probably won’t hear much from him if at all.  I do hope, however, that we can find time to go out next weekend.  Right now it is just a wait and see thing depending on how the audit goes.  So that’s my life in a nutshell…. just one thing after another all the time. 

He called…

I was wondering if the communication level with Matthew would improve now that he seemed more open about going out.  He would still text here and there so I wasn’t sure if it was really better.  But tonight he called me.  It was nice to be able to talk to him tonight.  We visited about school things, our frustrations with work issues, and just general conversation.  We are trying to plan a date for next weekend.  This week and weekend he’ll be preparing for a major audit so it is not a good time.  I also have to get a paper written.  He did say that he would like to go with me to the Fallback festival in November which will be nice to actually go with a date.  Every year I pay $100 for a ticket for a steak dinner for two and go by myself.  So at this point I’m still cautiously optimistic. 

Other than that, nothing much to report.  I got my quest finished today.  Tomorrow I have to finish three assignments.  I have another assignment due on Friday then a paper to write this weekend.  I’m getting tired of homework.  Or have I said that already?  Josh will be home this weekend.  I may go out with some girlfriends on Friday. 

Well, I’m going to go to be with pleasant thoughts just because he called. 

Need motivation

I am really lacking motivation these days.  I put off homework that was due today until this afternoon.  I finished it without a problem, but probably should have done it early.  I went in to work at school both Saturday and Sunday and didn’t really accomplish much of what I wanted to.  I have a million things to accomplish in the next couple of weeks.  I am so ready for this semester to be over.  It’s only the second six weeks of school and I already feel burned out. 

I haven’t used my oven for many months since this incident.  I tried turning it on again a couple of months ago and it still didn’t seem to work.  Tonight I finally got my brother to come out an look at it so I turned the breaker switch back on to see if it still gave me the same beeping sound and code.  Lo, and behold, it seemed to work again.  I turned the heat on it worked, the clock is set and the timer works.  I guess I’ll see how long it lasts.  But my brother did replace the parts in the toilet in the hall bath.  Now it works much better.  The water level would always get really low and it would fill back up several times. 

Josh is coming home this weekend so that he can attend the musical.  It will be nice to see him but it will probably be very brief.  I’ll have to work on a paper this weekend and try to get it finished early. 

Well, I’m going to go to bed early and see if I can be more motivated tomorrow. 

Maybe it’s my charm….

Ok, maybe I’m not stupid.  Maybe I’m a little bit foolish.  Whatever the case may be, Matthew and I are on again of sorts.  So I texted him today about coming to town to work on stuff and he texted me back and we continued our conversation about stuff.  I asked him if he wanted to go to lunch to talk more.  He said yes, so around 1:15 I picked him up and we went to lunch.  He told me several things that were rather enlightening.  I won’t go into details, but one thing that he did say was that I was one of very few people that he has opened as much as he has about his feelings and life and such.  We determined that we would be friends for now and just go with that.  I told him that I was content with being friends.  We stayed at lunch until almost 3:00 and then I took him back home.  I had invited him to go with me tonight to the band competition and at first he said he’d think about it and let me know.  By the time I took him home, he said that he would accept my offer.  So we agreed to meet at 6:00 at my house and ride together and that.  So we go to the band competition and run into one of the people that works in his office.  She just said hello, but I suspected that she was wondering why we were together.  We got there early and visited until the bands started performing.  Surprisingly (or maybe not) the superintendent of our schools texted him and asked him if he was on a date.  He said that she was probably there at the competition and had seen him arrive with me.  He said that his response to her would be that we were there just as friends but there was the possibility of dates in the future.  At the end of the competition, he got another text that told us that our band had gotten a first division before it was announced.  When he texted her back, he told her his response to her earlier question.  So all was good.  The bands were really good and we both seemed to enjoy the event.  So we get back to my place and earlier he had brought a bottle of wine that he wanted to share once we returned.  So we opened the wine and had a couple of glasses and talked more.  And then once again we ended up kissing.  A lot.  And he said that he thinks that he lied to his boss (the superintendent) earlier with his text message.  So now we’ve decided that we will go on real dates and just see where things go.  I think he is finally ok with the unknown and is willing to just take a chance.  So that’s where we are.  He also indicated that he really regrets not talking to me for three weeks and it was a lot of wasted time.  He just felt very confused and because he didn’t have the answers to his multitude of concerns, he basically shut down.  So I guess we are on again.  

Just Call Me Stupid

I went to the game tonight and it was rather exciting.  I sat the first half on my work school’s side and then went over to the other side during half time to watch the bands.  I came back over the 3rd quarter and originally intended to leave during the 4th but the game was getting rather exciting.  Out of the blue, I texted Matthew because I figured he would be at the game though I hadn’t seen him.  He texted me back and we continued back and forth for a while.  He then asked me if I wanted to get a drink or something after the game, and foolishly, I said yes.  Don’t judge.  So the game was over (and we lost by two lousy points).  So we decided to go to the one place in town that serves alcohol.  And we had a couple of drinks and visited and that’s it.  I did mention his distance a bit but without being confrontational and he admitted that he had been that way – still no real explanation.  But at one point he was just looking at me and I said “You miss me, don’t you.”  And he said yes.  And I said, but I’m not the one that has been distant.  He said that he knows.  And that’s about it.  We mostly visited about work related stuff.  When we left, we just hugged and I told him not to be a stranger.  He told me to let him know when I got to town tomorrow.  And now he’s texting me again.  He sent me a message that said “Thank you.”  I texted him back telling him that he’s welcome – but for what?  he said “Spending time with me and being you.”  I said that he confused me greatly and perhaps I’m foolish, but is just who I am.  We went back and forth there a bit and that’s it.  I don’t know if I’m just being plain stupid or what.  Yes, I KNOW he has ignored me for weeks now.  I KNOW that he has been horrible at communicating.  I don’t know that I really even want to go anywhere with this.  I think sometimes though, when loneliness sets in, and you get the opportunity for any kind of attention – no matter how brief, you plunge in headfirst without thinking.  I don’t regret having a drink with him.  I hope perhaps we can be friends.  I promise to try to be smart and not let myself get too caught up in things.  So that’s my evening and now it is WAY past my bed time. 

Another long day

I am feeling a little more caught up on sleep – at least not completely exhausted by the end of the day.  I got up to school a little early to get some things done, worked all day and am still behind.  I did get quite a bit of grading done though.  The librarian was gone today so I got a full hour to work on grades.  I just need to get them entered into the computer.  I think I’m just going to let all my classes work on projects tomorrow rather than give lecture as I planned. 

I came home and made a salad burrito for supper.  (Tortilla, lettuce, turkey, little bit of cheese and lite ranch dressing).  I chatted with Marty and he sent me his resume to look at.  He’s finally going to apply for a job down in Austin and wanted some help with his resume.  I then went to choir rehearsal as we are practicing for Christmas.  We are learning some new music so we needed to get started early.

Tomorrow is the football game against the school that I graduated high school from and the school that I now teach at.  I’m going to the game and will sit on the side that pays my check the first half and then go over to my alma mater so I can watch the bands perform.  Then I’ll probably head home early. 

I emailed Andrew tonight in hopes that he’ll let me know that he’s ok.  I’m guessing he’s not having a good week and needs some down time.  I just hope he is taking a break and will be back soon.  I just don’t want to speculate about it because we cannot know what is going on.  He’ll return when he feels ready. 

It’s my bed time so I’m going to head that way.  It will be another busy weekend for me. 

Rested

I finally got some rest.  I went back to bed shortly after posting last night and slept until this morning.  I realize that vitamins help.  I was feeling drowsy mid-morning, but remembered I had vitamins in my car.  So I went and got one and a coke zero.  After that, I had more energy and got through the day.  I actually got all my lesson plans for my speech class for the rest of the semester done and submitted them to my evaluator.  I’m going to try to get my English lessons done and submit those next week.  That way I won’t have to worry about them every week. 

I still feel behind, but just manage as I can.  I need to work on some grading, but I think I can do some of that tomorrow.  I got all my homework done for this week and submitted it tonight.  Again, nothing to report.  Just a dull life at the moment.  I’m hoping Andrew will start posting again soon.  I’m missing his daily reports. 

Exhaustion

I’m feeling physically and mentally exhausted today.  By the time school was out today, I had shut down mentally and was feeling tired.  I ran by the bank to deposit my roommate’s rent money, then went to Wendy’s to pick up dinner.  I’m back to dieting starting today so I got a grilled chicken sandwich.  I ate my dinner but still felt tired so I went to “rest” on my bed.  2 1/2 hours later I wake up after actually sleeping and dreaming.  I’m still tired, still mentally unfocused, but figured I needed to get up for an hour or two.  I just feel completely worn out and will probably go back to bed soon.  I hope tomorrow finds me with a little more pep.

Nothing to report today.  Trying to muddle through the days.  I am to that point where I am not enjoying teaching so much any more.  I don’t know if it was the inservice or working on the pointless lesson plans I’m trying to get done, but I’m reminded that there simply aren’t enough hours in the day.  To top it all off I couldn’t print today at school and found out that they STILL don’t have my yearbook drive up and running. 

Back to work

Many people had the day off today.  Students weren’t in school, but we had an inservice session.  I felt it was a bit pointless again.  It was over differentiated learning which is the same thing we’ve learned year after year – about knowing our student’s learning styles and adapting how we teach to fit their needs.  Much of what we talked about, I already do when I can. 

There’s not much more to report here.  I haven’t graded papers like I should.  I got home early today and took a nap instead.  I finished one of my quests that is due on Wednesday.  Now I just need to do an evaluation and discussion entry.  I watched Chuck tonight though I haven’t watched most of last season.  I still have all but one episode recorded on my DVR but never found the time to watch them. 

So I've pretty much wasted most of my evening but I don’t particularly care.  I’m watching The Princess Bride right now.  I guess I’ll try to catch up starting tomorrow. 

Shopped Until I dropped

My aunt and I had a very full day.  We left around 9:15 this morning and went shopping in Albuquerque.  We started at Dillards.  I didn’t really find anything there that I was interested in, but after that we went to the new Kohl’s that opened.  My aunt gave me a coupon for 15% but if I spent more than $100, I would get an additional 20%.  I ended up getting a new winter coat that I really liked that was on sale for $79 but I also got 3 pairs of pants and 4 sweaters/tops.  I spent way too much money, but I didn’t feel very bad because I didn’t do any back to school shopping before school started AND because everything I bought was a size smaller that I’m used to wearing.  I’ve gotten back down to the weight I lost last year with the biggest loser challenge – the full 20 pounds.  We’re starting the challenge again this week so I’m hoping I’ll continue to lose some more.  I didn’t buy a single XL top.  They were all large and the pants were a size 14 rather than a 16. My aunt did have to hem two pairs of the pants though – because I’m at that annoying height where petite/short is sometimes too short and average is too long.  After Kohl’s we went to Hobby Lobby where I picked up some rosary making beads and then we met my aunt’s husband and my sister and her husband for lunch at Olive Garden.  It was wonderful as always.  After that we went to Target where I finally got another audio cord so I can play my mp3 player in my car.  My aunt filled my car with gas before we headed back and I had to put some air in my tires as the warning light had come on signaling that they were low. 

I had grand plans to get some library homework done this weekend, but it just didn’t happen.  I’ll try to leave somewhat early tomorrow and then spend some time on it tomorrow.  I printed about 150 pages of stuff I’m supposed to read for class.  I feel perpetually behind.  And I’m up way past my normal bedtime right now.  I feel rather tired and should head to bed soon.  Last night I took a benadryl and slept pretty well.  I may have to do that again. 

Made it to Albuquerque

I left school around 4:15 and headed to Albuquerque.  I arrived at my aunt’s house 4 1/2 hours later.  Have just watched some t.v., enjoyed a bloody mary and then listened to the local radio station back home to see if our team won or lost.  It was intense – we were ahead by 3 and it got down to the last 12 seconds.  The opposing team threw a pass into the end zone that was incomplete and with only a few seconds on the clock left, they got a field goal and tied the game.  The opposing team ended up winning in overtime.  Very disappointing. 

So I’m going to take a benadryl shortly and go to bed.  We’re going shopping tomorrow and going to lunch with my sister.  She called me today and said that she realized that it was next weekend that she was off.  Since I already had plans to come this weekend, we decided to meet for lunch instead. 

I realized on the way here that I forgot my cord to connect my mp3 player in my car.  I stopped at the K-Mart in Tucumcari to see if I could pick one up, they didn’t have anything and there wasn’t a Walmart.  So I just listened to the radio, but I would rather have had my own music.  I’ll pick one up before heading home on Sunday.

Today’s Pics

I was a big hit as the Magic 8 Ball today.  I even had the sayings printed on cards and would randomly pull one out of a pocket I made on the back of the front side when someone would ask me a yes or no question.  I think my kids really liked the creativity of it.  They would ask me random classes during class and I’d pull up an answer. 

I’m not sure if my door placed in the decorating contest, but I thought it was rather clever.  The theme for homecoming was Disney Villains so our door was “Guess the Antagonist” since it was my English class that had to create it.  Behind each character (or protagonist) is a picture and the name of the antagonist (or opposing force). 

 

The picture in the middle is the school’s mascot and the antagonist of course is the mascot of the school we are playing this weekend.  Homecoming is a big deal in this community.  The game sold out on Friday and the only tickets available are for the visitor’s side now.  I’ll be headed to Albuquerque right after school so I don’t have to worry about it. 

I have to get some laundry done tonight and pack a bag for tomorrow.  I’ll just leave from school.  I’ll be back on Sunday sometime. 

Guess I better get started on that laundry so I don’t have to be up late tonight.  I was up until 10:30 working on my costume and I was so tired that I fell right to sleep.  I was still tired this morning though and did not want to get up. 

For your viewing pleasure

Here are the pics of my recent dress up days at school.  I hope I will have time to get my next project done tonight.  I have to get homework turned in which includes reading a lengthy and boring article.  I was a big hit today though many students thought I was Harry Potter and I had to correct them and let them know that I was Hermione Granger. 

Crazy Hair Day with pinkish, out of control hair.

 

As a “Gansta” with my baggy pants, hoodie, rosary, earbuds.

As Hermione Granger from Harry Potter. 

On the go

I don’t know why it is but I always have to go above and beyond with spirit week.  Today was a hit – I was a total “gangsta” in my outfit.  Tomorrow is fictional character day and I’ll be going as Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter books.  I went to Amarillo to find a tie and tights to wear with my sweater, skirt, and robe.  I used a stick from the yard for my wand and am waiting for the brown paint I put on one side of it to dry so I can paint the other side.  Thursday is “Dress like your float day” and each grade level class has a Disney themed float.  I’m a senior sponsor this year and their float is based on “Toy Story.”  I think I’m going to go as the Magic 8 ball.  But it will be a very flat 8-Ball – just going to do a two sided sandwich board type of thing made out of posterboard.  I am, however, going to have real “predictions” with the costume.  It’s kind of difficult to explain so I’ll just have to post a picture. 

We also have a door decorating contest and I stayed after school today working on that.  Since my 4th period class (who is supposed to help with the door) is English, my door will be “Guess the Antagonist.”  I’ll have pictures of Disney characters (protagonists) and people will have to guess the name of their antagonist (villains).  The answers will be pictures placed behind the main characters.  I thought it was clever. 

I ran all over town to get costume stuff.  I went to Burlington Coat Factory, Michaels, Walmart, Hastings, and another Walmart.  I was happy to have Taco Villa for dinner though.  I got home about an hour ago and I’m still a little wired because I had caffeine with my dinner.  I hope I can get to sleep at a decent hour. 

I’ve decided to go to Albuquerque this weekend to visit my aunt.  She’s been asking me to come and thought there really isn’t a good weekend, I’m just going to bite the bullet and go.  I’ll get to see my sister so, it will be nice. 

Well, I’m going to go finish my wand and then try to get some sleep.  Another busy day tomorrow. 

One day down

I’m not sure how many more to go, they all seem to blend together these days.  I did participate in crazy hair day today. One of only about 3 or 4 teachers that did.  I sprayed it with lots of hair spray and pink coloring.  It kind of just stuck up everywhere.  I just took a shower to get rid of all the gunk – it was rather disgusting.  I had to wash it twice.  Tomorrow is Freaky Friday day where students dress like teachers and teachers dress like students.  I’ll be wearing my baggy jeans with boxers sticking out, extra large t-shirt, Nike’s, and a hooded sweatshirt.  I can’t forget the sunglasses and earbuds of course. 

I had a huge headache today that lasted from lunch time until after school.  I wasn’t sure if was the fumes from the hairspray or wearing contacts or something else, but I left shortly after school was out though I’d normally stay a while.  I came home and took two tylenol and took the contacts out.  The headache subsided within an hour or so.  I made some chicken and rice-a-roni for dinner.  I didn’t bring any work home because I knew that I wouldn’t do any of it.  I did do some grad school homework, but that’s it. 

I’m washing a few things for tomorrow, and soon as I get them in the dryer, I’m heading to bed.  It’s really early, but I just want to go to bed. 

Nothing else going on here.  Just tired and need some sleep.

Most of the time I’m amazing

Just so you know – my moments of down in my posts are only temporary.  Generally, I think I’m a good catch.  I am aware of my faults, but I also know my strengths.  I think I already am the kind of person that I’m looking for.  I’m intelligent, thoughtful, honest (but not to a fault), creative, romantic, with varied interests.  I can be a little shy, but not so much that it prevents me from making conversation or pursuing someone.  I tend to be more reflective than outgoing.  And that is the kind of person that I would like.  I don’t want someone with a very gregarious personality.  But it seems that unless I’m an athletically toned woman that loves to watch sports and go hunting, that I’m not much of a match.  At least that is the way it seems on eharmony.  I thought that their “matching system” was supposed to take personality and interests into account.  I keep getting what they call “flexible matches” because I guess I’m too damn particular wanting someone within a 120 mile radius that isn’t psycho.  I get matches far beyond my search such as Las Vegas, or they are above or below my age requirements.  (I put up to 5 years younger and 10 years older)  It seems the only relatively local matches are those with whom I would have absolutely nothing in common with.  And what is up with these 45-50 year old men that still want kids? 

Ok enough about dating rants.  I enjoyed sleeping in this morning.  I was glad that I got my midterm done.  I finished it in less that two hours and I feel pretty good about it.  There were a few questions that I wasn’t completely sure on, but made my best guess.  I just hope I maintained an “A”.  I’m going to head to church shortly and then go up to the school to work.  I really need to do some cleaning and laundry here at the house, but it may have to wait.  It’s a cool morning and it rained a little bit.  I guess fall is finally here. 

I need some ideas for crazy hair day at school tomorrow.  It’s homecoming week with dress up days and I always dress up unlike most of the teachers at the school.

Nothing like procrastination

First of all, most of you know that Andrew is now back.  I’m happy that he’s returned and that he is safe.  I don’t know if that means I’ll lose the recent visitors to my blog.  My stats rose considerably in the last few days with people looking for news on Andrew.  But I do appreciate those that stopped by and hope you’ll return every once in a while.  I know my blog isn’t very exciting most of the time, but you never know when I might get a date sometime in the next 4 or 5 years. 

So I went to bed at 9:00ish and fell asleep quickly but was wide awake around 2:00 a.m.  After that, I slept here and there until around 7:00.  I stayed in bed and continued to sleep a little until 8:00-something when I finally gave up.  I took a shower, piddled around the house and had plans to go to the library around 10, but didn’t get there until 12:30.  I stayed until 3:00 and read almost all the articles (well, some I skimmed).  Now I’m home reading a handful of articles that I didn’t get printed that are online. They are all saying the same things basically, so I’m not really reading them in depth.  I’m going to start my midterm around 5:00 or so and hope I finish within the 4 hour time slot.  I hope it doesn’t really take me that long.  It is supposed to be 31 questions that are a combination of multiple choice and some short answer.  But the questions are over the 30 articles we read as well as everything that we’ve had in our library courses until this point with the exception of cataloging (thank goodness). 

As far as the feeling of loneliness goes, it will eventually go away.  I think the problem is that for a brief moment I was able to experience what it is like to go out on a date.  To spend time with someone where you talk, share, laugh, and enjoy the company of someone else.  The excitement of holding hands, kissing, and connecting.  And then all of sudden it just disappears.  It’s like a drug where you have that momentary high and now you have to deal with the withdrawal symptoms.  I had gone four years without dating or having those moments so I just got used to it.  I was ok with being on my own.  Sure, I would have enjoyed going out, but it wasn’t a big deal.  And now I realize how much I really did miss all that and it hits close to home.  So now I second guess myself and wonder what’s wrong with me.  Is there something about me that is that repulsive?  I have always thought that I was a pretty good catch, but it just makes me wonder if I’m fooling myself.  But these thoughts will subside at some point as well.  It is just a matter of time and numbing myself again.  I’m not sure that dating is worth all of this.  Am I doomed to always attract the wrong men?  It’s either the perverts, the emotionally unstable, the commitment-phobic, or a combination of all of these.  I think it is too much to expect to find just a nice guy without a bunch of hang-ups. I’m not looking for perfection, just relatively normal would be nice. 

But I’m not going to worry myself too much over this.  I’m just having one of those low moments.  Overall life is good – just tired of the same old thing I guess.  I know I don’t have to keep myself in the house.  I’ve gone to dinner, the movies, the symphony and other places by myself before.  I just remember that it is really nice to share it with someone else and so I’m missing that. 

Tomorrow I’m going to church and then need to get some work done up at school.  Maybe I won’t feel as behind if I get some things done before Monday hits. 

Well, I better get the last of the articles read so I can start the midterm.  Wish me luck!

Nothing to report

Just another day of work.  I still feel overwhelmed most of the time, but that is just the way it is right now.  Feeling a bit on the lonely side this evening, but just dealing with that as well.  I did get my yearbook cover done and submitted.  I also printed the pages I need to read this weekend for my midterm.  It’s probably 200 pages or so.  That’s my plan for tomorrow, just read, read, and read some more.  I know I shouldn’t put things off like this, but I’ll manage as always. 

I had no intention to cook this evening.  I stayed at school until almost 6:00 so I ordered pizza for dinner.  Had a cold beer with it and it was rather delicious.  I also have leftovers for lunch tomorrow. 

I haven’t heard from Andrew and it doesn’t look like he’s been reading my blog or checking his emails.  Just keep sending good thoughts his way and I’m sure he’ll come around. 

I’m going to just call it an early night and plan to get up somewhat early, find a quiet place and start reading all the articles that I printed today.