Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Depressing Time of Year

This time of year is always depressing. I never noticed it so much before. But when Richard and I tried counseling a few years ago, the therapist pointed out that events that have happened in the past that we may have forgotten about can trigger states of depression. So I gave it some thought. I realized that it was about that time of year (Nov-Dec) that my best friend in junior high passed away. It was my first personal experience with death. We were in the 8th grade. She developed a brain tumor the year before. I used to think about her every day for several years. Now she crosses my mind once in a while. I never thought of her death really affecting me, but perhaps it still has. Or it could have been the miserable state of living with a man that wasn't who I thought he was.
Well, never-the-less, being aware of such things I do realize that I indeed tend to be down this time of year. Yes, the time change has an effect with darker days etc... But it's also my birthday which is generally depressing. It's not really getting older, it's the fact that it has ceased to be something special. Yet at the same time it is still really special since it's my son's birthday. (I know, I don't make sense) Then there's the fact that it was a year ago (on the 22nd) that my mother passed away. Then there's the up in the air status of where Marty will be next year. But overall, I'm handling it all pretty well so far. I think just being aware of it helps. It also helps that I'm working on getting my house clean. It's distracting me from my mood and making things more pleasant around here.
So now if I could just get the weathermen to agree that snow should NOT be here on Saturday so I could have my garage sale and get rid of the junk in my garage.

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