Happy Birthday To Me

Today is my birthday. Well at least it used to be MY birthday before my son was born. Now I guess it's more OUR birthday... and sometimes... really HIS birthday. He was born on my 21st birthday. Let me tell you after going through completely natural child birth, not by choice, boy I could have used a drink. I remember my mom calling me at the hospital saying "Happy Birthday! What do you want?" I replied, "An Epidural." But, alas, I received nothing. No drugs. By the time I asked for them they said it was too late. I basically went from a "3" to a"9" in dialation rather fast. It was painful. I vowed to remember the pain as long as I lived and to NEVER do that again. Unfortunately or fortunately, I probably won't be having more children. I'm getting to the age where it might not be the best idea and I'm also in a kind of selfish mode these days. I want the freedom to travel and sleep late. Josh is of the age that he can pretty much take care of himsel, which he tends to prefer most of the time. I remember the day I taught him to make himself a bowl of cereal. I realized that from now on I could actually sleep in 30 more minutes in the morning. Wooo Hooo! I went through a brief phase of hearing my biological clock ticking a few years ago. It passed. Given that my ex had a vasectomy before we were married it was unreasonable to have children. That and he really wasn't the good father type. Nor the good husband type. Marty, too, has been "fixed." For me it's a relief that I don't have to worry about birth control. Did I mention that I am terrible at remembering to take pills everyday? I am truly thankful that I never married Josh's dad. (Not that he ever offered) He turned out to be a real "winner". Sometimes I hope I haven't messed up Josh too much. It was difficult at times, but I think he's turned out to be a pretty good kid. He's smart. Really smart. (And I'm not just bragging) He's talented artistically and musically. He doesn't get in to trouble. And he's not really into sports. He's only in athletics for the "coolness" factor. He still has some anger management issues to deal with, but I think overall, he's turned out o.k. So when sometimes I think that my birthday really isn't all that special, it really is the best day of my life.