Sunday, November 14, 2004

Some Men Just Don't "Get It"

In all of my 35 years, about 15 that have included serious-type relationships with men, I've discovered several things that they just don't "get". Here's a partial list:

1. When we say "nothing" is wrong. It's usually something. And generally we want you to figure it out.
2. When your girlfriend or wife is meeting you at the door naked or half naked, it's a good thing. You should respond appropriately.
3. We need romance. We don't just want it. It's necessary.
4. We need more than just HEARING "I Love You." Saying it is indeed important, but we need to see it in action as well.
5. Birthdays should be special. That generally means more than just a phone call.
6. Romance can be spontaneous, but most of the time it takes planning.
7. Flowers are good things. They should be sent for special occasions (anniversaries, Valentine's, birthdays), sometimes when you're in the doghouse, and sometimes just because.
8. Romance doesn't have to expensive.
9. When a woman is crying hysterically (even if you're mad), you should stop, shut up, and hold her.
10. If you get into the habit of talking every day. You need to talk EVERY day. If not, we will imagine and expect the worst and will be mad when we discover you're not dead or maimed.
11. Unless specifically requested, gift certificates are NOT good presents. We would like you to actually use your head and shop for something meaningful. Or at least get ideas from us weeks before actual gift-giving dates.
12. Never buy clothes for a woman.
13. Never buy a selfish (meaning for yourself) gift. For example, the 101 Nights of Great Sex book just so you can get laid more.
14. We are jealous creatures by nature. Be aware of it and don't test it.

I know there's more, but will update as I think of them. I'm tired now and am going to sleep.

1 comment:

ricknight said...

Thanks for the advice... a guy :)