Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Confessions of a Drama Queen

I never thought of myself as a drama queen. But when it comes to relationships I guess I am. I can't be in a relationship without some kind of drama. I can't just be satifisfied that every thing is o.k. I seem to have to question everything. I can't just sit back and relax and know that everything is alright. Because I guess I never know that. I tend to think that I know what my partner is thinking and feeling. Sometimes I'm right. And sometimes I'm not. I'm not sure how I elected myself this power. I guess it came from several bouts of mind reading. But it also comes from my intuition which seems to be right more often than not. Or perhaps it's right after I've done my best to screw the relationship up. I am in constant need of assurance it seems. I need to know that everything is o.k. and that I still mean the world to my partner. I wonder why that is. I guess it could be the lack of affection in growing up. My family was never the touchy-feely type. Love was to be understood and not expressly shown. I understood love as simply taking care of others. Now in my relationships (outside of family) I want and need the touchy-feeliness. I need the constant assurance that I am loved. Despite my antics and fears.
Maybe it's just a girl thing.

1 comment:

Patrick Goodman said...

I never considered you a drama queen, if that helps.