Saturday, June 10, 2006

Why are we so shallow?

Notice I used the word "we" instead of "men." I admit it. I can be that way. Now, I know in the dating world that I am never going to meet and marry someone that is drop dead gorgeous. It just isn't possible because I am not what those kinds of guys are interested in. Because I know this, I try not to be judgmental, though I admit I can be. But more often it's not about looks but more about intelligence. Appearance has it's place and we all have our own inclinations of what we find attractive. I just don't get why men that obviously aren't up to Hollywood standards only want to meet women that are. I'm not skinny. I probably never will be. But I don't think I'm someone that you would be embarrassed to be seen with in public. That's kind of where I draw the line for myself. But I am smart, funny, romantic, mentally stable, and I've even been called cute and beautiful. Sometimes guys will say they don't want someone high maintenance, but I find that is really just a lie. O.k. they don't want someone that spends hundreds or even thousand's of dollars on clothing and jewelry, but they do want someone that might spend equal amounts at the salon.

I put myself on another dating site... this time a Catholic specific site. I got my first and only response from a man after three weeks. Now get this... this guy is currently weighing in at 330+ pounds. O.k. well he's tall and trying to lose it. He has a nice face so I think that's o.k. He goes into how he's losing weight in his email and tells me that I should give it a try. Then he tells me that he's not superficial but he does have a preference for blue-eyed blondes and although it's not an absolute for him, it's amazing what a highlighter or salon treatment can do - something I could think about.

I'm sorry, but that's where I lost it. A. I don't look good as a blonde and I will NEVER change my hair to a blonde. B. I certainly will not change my appearance to suit a man. I deserve to be loved for who and what I am... imperfections at all. I might be inclined to make subtle changes here and there based on suggestions... but it will never be something major. And for the record, I like being a brunette. It suits me. And I've done the hair color thing and it's just too expensive to keep up with... even with the do-it-yourself kits.

It's no wonder why I constantly ask myself what is wrong with me. I generally have a pretty good self-esteem, but perhaps I'm deluding myself. Maybe I'm not as great of a catch as I seem to think I am. I guess if I was, then I wouldn't still be single, right?

5 comments:

Unknown said...

I had an ex try to turn me into his mom. Said I was Fat, ugly and dressed funny. I actually let him make me "over". I was 21 at the time and He was very high matentce(sp)..2 hours in front of the mirror every morning! It felt like my spirit was sufficating.
This guy so doen't deserve you. Just wait on GOD and he will deliver if that is his plan.

Summer said...

This is the way I see it. First of all he is a jerk. Second, he feels bad about himself and he was projecting that onto you to make himself feel better. The creep.

PEG said...

There is nothing wrong with you. Trust me on this one.

Andrew said...

I think you are gorgeous and just fine the way you are!!!

Susanlee said...

*shrug* I think you'd be a catch, and, speaking as someone who's hair has been every color, blonde sucks. You, me and Tiffany should start "the hot, just fine as we are,brunette girls club."