Sunday, October 01, 2006

Now I can post

There's nothing like a benadryl that helps me get a good night's sleep, church with a very relative homily, and donuts to put things into perspective. I am glad that I waited to post because I had a brief moment of self-pity last night and now I'm over it.
This whole thing has been a bit frustrating and I'm realizing that it is probably not the best avenue for me to explore in regard to finding someone interesting with whom to develop a friendship or possibly a relationship. My good friend Andrew was kind enough to chat with me last night and gave me some very nice compliments. I was feeling a bit down because it seems that when I get close to talking with someone remotely interesting AND intelligent, they quickly disappear for some reason. I've been wondering what's wrong with me and I think I've come to the conclusion that nothing is wrong with me and the problem lies in those shallow men that for whatever reason think I'm not up to par. I understand that we all have standards. Unfortunatley, mine are probably too high in some respects because I appreciate proper English and spelling of most words correctly. I appreciate someone that READS.

I'm not perfect. I have my good and bad days like most people. Thankfully I tend to have more good days than bad and really the bad ones aren't much of anything. I am pretty positive most of the time, but I have my moments of moodiness because, after all, I am human. (Oh, I'm sorry... were you looking for the robot woman that has no mood swings, in a size 4, with big boobs?) It just seems that since I've changed to a much more moral, positive, and spiritually filled person, that the men have just creeped back into the walls or something.

But regardless of the fact that there are men that won't give me the time of day, I still know that deep down I'm a pretty darn good catch. I think my blog friends, real life friends, and even my ex-husband would vouch for that. The thing about the personals is that you have to try to sell yourself with those ads. Honesty is a bit relative. I am honest in my ad, which is probably unusual and perhaps that is a reason why I'm not getting much in the way of responses. No, I'm not listing all my quirks, and I think I paint a pretty good picture of myself. I go to church regularly and it's a part of my life. I am not perfect, but have some really good qualities. I'm not going to pretend to be a sports nut when I'm not. But I've decided it doesn't matter. If I get more responses, great. I will be happy to respond to them, but I'm not going to worry myself about whether or not this guy or that guy is interested. It's taken a while to rebuild my self-esteem and I think that for the most part, I feel good about myself. Sure, those doubts creep in every once in a while, but ultimately, I know that someday I will meet that guy that is lucky enough to realize what a catch I am.

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