Friday, September 16, 2005

Bad News

I don't know any other way to put the title. But I guess that's what you'd say it is. I'm writing this post now while I can get my thoughts processed and out, but it won't be posted until the morning.

I got a call from Heather. To remind you, she is the soon to be or now ex-wife of Josh's dad, Jacob. She called to tell me that Jacob had killed himself. He committed suicide and was found today (Friday) at Buffalo Lake which is about 10 miles from Canyon. I don't know any other details except that they had found suicide notes in his apartment that he recently moved in to.

I was not surprised by the news. Even before she told me, I knew that was why she was calling. I can't say that I feel remorse because he really did screw up. And I'm not going to air all the dirty laundry on here, but will tell you that what he did is something that affected Josh and Jacob was on probation because of it. Jacob lost a relationship with Josh two years ago. I am also not surprised that Jacob took the easy way out. He has always been a selfish bastard. Pardon my language, but it's how I knew him.

My main concern right now is about Josh. I am not certain how he is going to take it. That is why I am not posting this tonight as I am writing it. I want to be able to tell him first. He is gone with the band to a football game. I will tell him in the morning. I was supposed to be in Hereford by 5:45 a.m. to leave for our speech tournament, but I called the other teacher and told her the situation. I told her that if Josh was o.k., that I would meet her at the tournament later.

I think he will shrug it off at first because he has not wanted anything to do with his father for two years. But I'm more worried about what will be going on inside his head that he won't share with me. I'm going to have to get him some counseling. Because this has to affect him in some way. Maybe it will be helpful, but his health class just covered suicide. How Josh reacts and the effect it has on him is my biggest worry right now.

But I'm also worried about the fact that this means no more child support. Sure he wasn't paying regularly, but I did get a nice surprise from time to time. But then again, at least now I KNOW that it isn't coming. Technically it is still owed despite his death, but unless he has left some kind of estate, Josh won't see a penny.

I am also sad for Heather and her girls. I know it must be very tough on her because she was married to him and had three children with him. He screwed up, but she stood by him as long as she could.

In rereading this post, it seems so matter-of-fact, but I really don't know any other way to state what has happened. I am upset for Josh's sake and sad for Heather, but that is it. Is there something wrong with that?


I have told Josh. His response was "wow." I asked him if he thought he would want to go to the funeral and he said yes. That surprised me a little, but now that I think about it, it really doesn't. He's seems to be taking it well as I thought he would. I am going to get him into counseling soon though.

I am off to the tournament and won't be home until late tonight.


Bret Capranica said...

I am saddened to hear about the latest with Jacob and without knowing any details, with the effects on Josh. I will be praying for you, Josh and Jacob's family.

Summer said...

I don't know what to say my friend. I'm sending good thoughts your way. The next time you hug your son, give him an extra squeeze for me.

Annabel said...

Thank you Bret and Summer. I really appreciate it. We're doing pretty well so far. I know Josh is excited about getting to see his step-sisters that he hasn't seen in a few years.