Nothing to say

I guess that's not entirely true since I'm posting a blog about nothing to say. It's been a lazy, boring day and I'm a feeling a little off so to speak. I think I'd rather not say anything than write a post that I'll eventually delete. Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend. Maybe I'll post something more interesting tomorrow.

TGIF and nothing to do

Today seemed kind of off since Josh's football game was last night. The morning came much too early after taking a benadryl last night. But I roused myself enough to go to work. The life of a teacher is endless. I don't know what I'd do if I ever actually caught up on all my work. And I have classes where I don't really have to teach all day. My upper level speech classes spend a great deal of time working on things with me lecturing only once or twice a week, if that. I have to do more in my comm. app. class, but I already have lessons prepared for those classes.
Technically I was originally supposed to work the senior supper, but I got out of it because of the fact that I was supposed to chaperone the band tonight. But since the game was moved, I didn't have to do that and I sort of forgot to mention that to my principal. Besides it was too late to sign up anyway since I am carpooling and my partner is sponsoring a different class. At least I keep telling myself that it's o.k. Sure, I feel a little guilty, but not a whole lot. I needed a break. I mean, come on... I spent all of last Saturday at a speech tournament... surely I deserve it.
This evening I went to dinner with Josh and my friend Norma. It was nice to get out for a moment. For the rest of the evening I'm probably going to curl up with my book and go to bed early. And then I'm going sleep in in the morning. It will be great. Then I absolutely have to get some house cleaning and laundry done. It's getting dire here. (You know it wouldn't be my blog if I didn't mention the fact that I need to clean my house and do laundry. At least I have no aspirations to tackle the garage right now.)
So that's my exciting weekend. What's on your agenda?

Social Nightmare

Josh's football game was tonight instead of tomorrow. I don't really remember ever going to games as a regular student because I was always in the band, but I can imagine the social nightmare it is. It is a place to be flirtatious, coy, loud, obnoxious, cute, clever, annoying... You name it, it's there at the game. It's full of people of all ages from babies to those that certainly shouldn't be driving any more. I guess perhaps it's just me, but it's a very annoying place to be other than the band being present. It's loud, it's now getting cold, there's bugs, and it's a sport. I go because I want to support my son and enjoy the performance of the band. Although their show is looking good, their sound was pitiful tonight. I'm still tired and would like to go to bed early again, but will probably have to go pick up Josh shortly before 11:00. I guess it's a good thing that I don't have a social life.

Luckily this weekend is free for me. No game tomorrow. No tournament on Saturday. Church, of course, on Sunday, but no choir. I may go out with a friend tomorrow night. Marty's sister-in-law mentioned getting together and going to a movie possibly. That might be fun to get out of the house. I guess I better check out which movies are showing.

How long until Friday?

Yet another long day. I'm getting kind of irritated that the person I carpool with seems to be arriving at my house earlier and earlier. Last year my carpool person and I generally made it just in time... but not late. We would leave no later than about 7:20. My carpool person this year has been arriving at my house shortly before 7:00 a.m. And the thing is that our school day is starting later than it did last year. I just feel rushed when she pulls up and I haven't even gotten dressed yet. But I'm too nice to say anything. And it's not like she sits and honks the horn, but I just feel like I have to get out the door more quickly. She also likes to talk. A lot. I find myself going into that mode where you just nod your head and agree with whatever someone is saying. She will just randomly say something that she's thinking that has no relevance to me... something along the lines of something she needs to remember to do in class. I'm not complaining exactly, but I tend to be on the quiet side and I don't like feeling obligated to respond quite so much. I guess it's just not a great rapport and we don't have much in common other than we need to save money on gas.

So, I get to school early and spend most of the day working on different projects and I still feel like I'm behind. I have to get ready to be gone for three days next week. It is the annual speech convention and luckily, I get to go this year. Probably because it's in Amarillo. But at least I will learn some new things and get some good information.

I get home today just in time to take Josh to his piano lesson. After that, we come home, I check email and then head back out to RCIA class. I almost thought of not going because I was tired and just needed that down time, but I didn't want to miss anything. So I went and I am always glad that I did. After that, Josh and I had to run up to Walmart and get ink for my printer. I think I need to buy stock in Walmart because about half my paycheck seems to go there. So I didn't really get home until shortly before 9:00 and now the washer is being cranky.
So what else is new you ask? I did get a very nice email from someone through match.com. He actually responded to an email I sent and replied back. We've now emailed a few times and chatted last night. There is a distance issue that is of concern on both our parts, but I figured it would be great to just get to know somoeone without regard to a possible romance so to speak. I also got another email from a guy in Amarillo, and he has a nice profile except for the fact that it indicated that he smokes occasionally. And that's heartbreaking for me because it's the one thing that I won't compromise on in terms of a relationship. But I told him that although I was bothered by that aspect, it would be nice to get to know him. So we'll see. (**update... received a second email from him and he seems intrigued by my intelligence so that might be a good sign.. will keep you posted.) I haven't determined if match.com is going to be a waste of time and money yet. For a while, I was really leaning that way, but it's still up in the air. If I get a few new friends, then I'd be satisfied with that. I don't particularly expect to find my soulmate (or soalmate as one profile states) but I figured it wouldn't hurt to meet a few new people.

Although I'd like to go to bed soon, I still have about 45 minutes until my sheets and blanket are dry. I guess I'll go catch up on all my friends blogs.

What I hate about personal ads

Here's the Top Ten Things I Hate About Personals

1. Poor grammar. I'm sure I don't need to explain this as I've mentioned it numerous times. I think that if you don't take the time to at least have words spelled correctly when you're trying to make an impression on others that you are either stupid or lazy and neither is acceptable on profiles. (I know it's different in blogosphere as we tend to simply write and post without much editing, but when trying to catch someone's eye, saying that "ur lookin four a speshal ladie" isn't quite going to do it.)

2. No pictures on profile. What are you hiding? I tend to guess that no pictures means one of two things. Hiding the fact that they weigh 600 pounds or that they are technologically challenged and can't figure out how to put one on there.

3. Pictures that are really old. Again, what are you hiding? Sure, we all look better in some of those few great pictures we have. I know everyone has their degree of shallowness, but for me, as long as you're not someone that I'd be embarrassed to be seen with in public, then no big deal.

4. Lying in your profile. Saying that you have this job here or make this amount of money or you're divorced when you have no job, no income and you're simply separated. Unfortunately we try to sell ourselves in our profile and only put the perfectionist parts, but honesty is still expected at least on my part.

5. Refusing to acknowledge emails. If you're not interested... that's o.k. You can even simply say that you're seeing where something is going with someone else. But ingnoring emails is not very gentleman-like or lady-like. Even those that emailed me and I wasn't interested for one reason or another, I at least acknowledged the email.

6. Someone that is not discerning at all. When they list "any" on everything in potential mates seems to indicate someone that will take anyone that gives them the time of day. It's o.k. to have standards and we should have some.

7. Someone seeking perfection. Those people that won't even consider someone that isn't in swimsuit model condition. It seems that they don't care whether someone has a brain or can think for herself.

8. Guys that use the word "lonely". For me that is the ultimate word that makes me want to turn and run. Sure, we all have the feeling that we'd like to have a partner and companionship, but saying you're lonely is a killer word. It reaks of desperation.

9. Profiles that list all the don'ts. Although you don't find these often, profiles that have a list of what they're not looking for instead of what they are.

10. Those that seek people way out of their age range. For me I can go 10 years forward or about 7 years backwards. Those men that are 50 looking for women 18-35 have something seriously wrong with them. We call that robbing the cradle.

Guilty Pleasures

I had a nice evening despite the pangs of guilt I'm feeling at the moment. No, no torrid affair or anything like that. I went to the bookstore. I know, I know. I have better things to spend my money on - like bills. But sometimes you just have to do things on a whim. It's been a while since I've gotten to really browse the bookstore. First, I rushed home after school to pick up some supper for Josh since he wouldn't be able to eat until after his evening band rehearsal. I figured since he wasn't going to be home and I didn't have papers and such to grade that I could actually make the trip to Amarillo and get the special printing paper I've been desperately needing to get. But first, I needed supper as well so I indulged in my favorite fast food, Taco Villa. Then off to Office Max to get the paper. Then I decided that I had time to go to Barnes and Noble. I wanted to find some books for my students to get their prose and poetry selections from and so I spent about an hour and and a half browsing and skimming books. I settled on three and guiltily bought them. I should be ordering them through the school, but sometimes it's like pulling teeth to get a purchase order for such extravagances. It was nice to just sit and be still for a little while. Now I'm home and I don't have much time to get things accomplished. I still have the book I got in Albuquerque that I want to read. I started reading it at the speech tournament and now I want to keep at it. I hate it when I have a good book I'm reading and I don't have the time to enjoy it. As much as the thought of becoming a librarian is enticing, I figure that even then, I wouldn't get time to read. The job of a librarian these days is more than just keeping track of books. It also entails audio visual equimpment of all kinds and computer troubleshooting. But now instead of doing the dishes or the laundry, I think I'm going to curl up with my book and try to stop feeling guilty about it.

I Rock...

and I'm the coolest teacher ever. Did you know that? You didn't? Well, let me share with you.

First, at the speech tournament my team placed 2nd in sweepstakes. My students placed in 17 events and broke to semi-finals in 31 events. (Keep in mind I only took 24 to the tournament and several entered more than one event.) I had some beginning students at their very first tournament that placed. Granted, it was a small tournament, but it is enough to get the new kids excited. I was excited because this was the first tournament that they were successful in some part due to me alone. Last year was a great year, but I was more of an assistant rather than their teacher. Now it's on my shoulders and I'm excited about it.

Unfortunately, it ran very late and we didn't leave until 11:40 at night. But this freshman boy on the bus told me "You rock. You rock out loud." I guess it was a great experience for him. So I get back to Hereford at 12:45 and have to wait for a few student's rides. I left Hereford shortly before 1:00 a.m. and got home around 1:30. I was surprised that Josh wasn't home then. He had gone to a competition in Lubbock with the percussion ensemble. (They won first place.) I called him when I got home and he said he was almost there and I asked if he could get a ride so I could go to bed. He said sure so I got in bed. Then I had to let the cat out. Then I had to let another cat in. Then Josh called back at 2:08 saying that he couldn't get a ride so I had to go up and get him. I didn't get to bed until 2:30 a.m. and I had to be up by 7:00 to get ready for Mass. (I was singing in the choir) So when 7:00 rolled around I was tired and had a headache. I should have taken my contacts out the night before, but I didn't so one of my eyes was red. I took them out and wore my glasses this morning instead. I got to church by 8:00 in order to warm up and practice a few songs. I was actually kind of nervous singing because there was only four of us. But I guess I did o.k. By the end of the service, my voice was giving out. But I am always glad I go to Mass. Even on mornings like this when I only want to sleep, I never regret going.

Oh.. I'm the coolest teacher... So my students have been talking about myspace quite a bit so I did a little surfing today to check their pages out. Several, I am happy to report, are set to private. I am kind of leery about myspace because of all the perverts etc. out there and I think students are better off setting their profiles private. But there were several that I was able to take a look at. There are some surprising things to learn about people on those pages. Well, one of my student's blog entry listed 33 weird, but cool people. I was on there as number 26 with (coolest teacher ever) in parentheses. Wow. I never thought of myself as one of those "cool" teachers. But I guess I am. Sometimes it's difficult for teachers to know that they're having an impact on their students and making a difference in their lives. I am now thinking that at least in some small way I am.

Game Night

Today I got to come home early because we had an early out at school followed by a brief meeting at the administration building. I took a very brief nap until Josh called. He didn't have time to come home for supper so I took him something to eat. Then I ate something myself, did laundry, watched t.v. and did my daily web surfing.

I will be heading out to the football game soon in order to watch the band. No, I really don't watch the game itself. I will probably take a book or something to read until half time. I'm just not a big sports fan. I know that may hurt me in the dating game, but I'm not going to pretend to like sports when I don't. But I'd prefer more of a Renaissance man anyways. I don't know why men tend to look for women that are also into sports, fishing, camping etc. Isn't that what guy friends are for? I guess I'm just too much of a girly girl.

This will be the last post until Sunday. When I get home, I will go straight to bed since I have to get up by 5:00 a.m. I won't get home until after 11:00 on Saturday.

I had a thought today about how schools are really different since I was a student. I saw two students today that I wasn't sure what sex they were. I'm not sure why the androgenous thing is a fashion trend, but it's kind of disturbing. If I had to guess, I'd say female, but I really wasn't sure. The thing about schools today is that there are far more same sex couples in them as well as many girls that are pregnant. The language is also simply amazing. Foul words just roll off the tongue of students as they walk down the hall or hang outside with their friends. Sometimes I think that there's no hope for the future with the kind of kids that I hear and see these days. I just hope that the majority of them grow out of their selfish, cussing ways. Don't get me wrong... most of the students I have are great kids and they're more the exception than what seems to be the rule these days. And when I deal with them, I see that there is at least a glimmer of hope. I am anxious to see how they do at the tournament tomorrow.

Still going fast but not furious

Today was a typical day at school. I took the leftover pineapple upside-down cake up there to share so I wouldn't be tempted to eat it myself. My students started performing their selections for the tournament. Some are not ready at all and but some are going to be fine. I don't know how well things will end up, but it should be interesting. Some just now got scripts today to memorize by Saturday. The only reason I'm letting them go is because we need the numbers to for an event to become qualifying. For the next tournament, they will have to be ready at least a week beforehand or I will drop them. At least it's not for another month. I stayed after school today until 6:00 listening to students, cutting scripts and such. Then I came home, checked my email and left. I ran by Wendy's to get a quick bite and headed up to the Church. We had choir practice tonight. At first, I was the only one there and told the director that I was not going to sing by myself. We finally gathered another person and may have one more join us on Sunday. It is a bit intimidating to sing with so few people which won't let me really blend in much. Luckily, it was a shorter rehearsal so I was able to get home at a fairly decent hour. But I'm still exhausted and will probably go to bed early tonight. Saturday is going to be coming quickly. I will have to leave here by 5:30 a.m. and probably won't get home until midnight.
So that's my exciting day. Am ready for a break soon. I'm not complaining. Being busy is really a good thing and I enjoy having a pretty full life; but I also enjoy some simple down time.

It's Hump Day again

I made it through the middle of the week. I'd say I'm on the downhill stretch, but it's just going to get more busy. Last night I went to the store. (Payday finally!) I got stuff to make goodies for the RCIA class tonight and so I made a pinapple upside-down cake and then put together the bacon-wrapped sausage things that are basically cholesterol on a stick... but so yummy. Today was a typical day at school for the most part. My principal came in and told me that he disapproved of two scripts I wanted to order because of the titles. One was called "Men Suck." I found that a bit ironic. The other was called "Gigolo in the Basement." I guess he is a bit conservative. He thought that the people at central wouldn't approve of them as well.
I got home and had to go back to the store for some things I forgot the first time. Then Josh had a piano lesson. Then I had to put the bacon-sausage things in the oven. Then I went to class. And now I'm home. Whew!

Now I'm home and I'm just about ready for bed. I have to figure out what I'm wearing tomorrow. Problem is that it's chilly in the morning, but it warms up in the afternoon. Add to that the fact that if the air conditioning is on in my room, then it's a freezer. Oh, the food that I brought to class was a big hit. Everybody seemed to love it. That makes me feel pretty good. Maybe I should have them write me a letter of recommendation that I could post on match.com. Sometimes I just have to laugh at myself, you know?

There is nothing new in the world of match.com. I think I agree with Summer that perhaps it isn't the right venue for me. I'm not sure what that venue would be, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to try it out. I thought it might just be nice to go on a date or something. I don't necessarily have to meet the man of my dreams, but new friends are usually nice to have. And to answer Abbagirl's comment, there is not a single's group at my church. It seems that most Catholic males my age are quite happily married. There are also no single men where I work... at least single within my age group. There's not really any other place that I go where I think I could meet people. I guess I should "get out more", but where in the heck does one go? I don't go to bars because they are too smoke-filled and it's really not any fun to go alone. I'd love to go to concerts and museums and such, but it's still the problem of time and effort I suppose.

But I'm not going to spend time worrying about it. I still have faith that God will provide. I'm still going through the process of learning more patience. So let's just wait and see what happens. I know I'm a good catch. And I truly appreciate mommacakes comment that I am quality. I need to hear that sometimes. I basically know it's true, but I tend to second guess because I often feel I'm being shrugged off. But you know what? If they can't or won't take the time to get to know me and see what's in me, then they simply aren't worth it. I know the right one is out there somewhere, maybe I need a map or something.

About Personal Ads

To answer Summer's question on the previous blog post, I think my profile is pretty comparable to other females' ads. I think mine is actually pretty decent for several reasons. (And I'm not being arrogant... my faithful blog readers should know that I'm not that way at all.) First, it is a complete profile. I filled out information for just about every space and used almost all the words possible in my description. It is also grammatically correct. I know I've had errors in my blogs before, but that is simply carelessness and generally rushing a post. But for the most part, I try to make sure that if I'm going to try to catch someone's attention, I feel I should take care to spell things correctly and use correct grammar. That is something that would impress me. I have found in searching ads that the females are either generally smarter or more careful when it comes to their writing. Most that I viewed didn't have glaring mistakes in them. I also have pictures which I feel is a definite must for an ad. I think that those that don't put pictures are hiding something or weigh about 650 pounds. (And then they write that they are stocky or have a few extra pounds.) I think my pictures are decent and they show what I really look like other than my hair being longer now. They aren't years old. I guess I fudged a little by marking that I was average in weight. I think that a lot of guys won't even consider someone that has a few extra pounds. I'm not skinny, but I'm certainly not obese either. I would hope that someone would be more interested in what I've got going on upstairs instead of the size of my full figure. Yes, we should have our own standards, but some guys have them so high that they won't settle for anything but utter perfection in looks. My profile isn't negative. I don't list the things that guys should not be or do.

So today's match.com activity has been a big fat zero other than some people have looked at my profile. I did get an email last night from someone stating that he was pursuing something with someone else... which was perfectly fine. I do appreciate the acknowledgement. I'm not complaining, but I am still wondering if perhaps I am just going to remain out of the loop of most men. I am by no means desperate and I hate it if I am sounding that way. I guess it's a bit of frustration because I think that I am meant to be in a loving, committed, semi-normal relationship. But I suppose we all basically judge books by their covers. I'm just wondering what might be wrong with mine.... because I think I'm a pretty good read if someone would take the time to get to the first page. (Don't you just love my analogies?)

So, the guy that kept mentioning sex in the IM conversation... I do want to say something about it. (Before Satan Himself comments) I know that guys think about sex. I know that many are just wired that way. But I think that when it comes up 3 or 4 times in the first 30 minute conversation, then perhaps it's a bigger issue than I would like to pursue. Been there, done that... still trying to get rid of the t-shirts.

And now for the entertainment portion of the blog... excerpts from actual posts (all are verbatim including spelling & punctuation):

• I love papering the lady of my dreams with gift and stuff. I like kids some friends tell me that I still act likes a kid but I am kid at heart. plus one of my friends say that I would make a good housekeeper cause wash windows and not afraid to clean house and keep clean.
• I'm what you would call a sexual person, what can I say, I like sex. But I am a faithful freak, if that makes any sense. I would just hope that any partner that I might get involved with would be somewhat the same way but not exactly. Not many relationships are perfect and Im not expecting that, for sure. I 'm just tired of waging the every day battle with life alone. It would be nice to have a caring, cute little sweetheart to spend some time with and to care for also.I'm here
• I'm easy going, fun to be around, can be tempermental, do not enjoy fighting!,I hait to be pissed off, I enjoy a cleane but lived in house, I was raised to have and give respect/old school, I don't play games and do not want any games. I have been going to some bars since my girl freand and i broke up about a year ago. Looking for something there, and not finding what i need.
  
• favorite things: motorcycles, pickups, comfortable clothes, beaf, seafood, oriental, i'll try any type of food. When i'ts raining i like to sleep or have sex(not that it happens). I shop at walmart. I don't read much but not amuine to it. I like all movies but horror.
• i, m just an average tod tryin to find my kindred soul friend .been in northern cal for 15 years now i, m back in amarillo couse my dreams told me she is here. i enjoy living just about all the time even if i don't find you i, m still enjoyin the ride
• I am easy going.I like play sport and watch sport.I am adventure.I have good smile.I am nice guy.I have good moral.I want female who had good moral.I like have female who like to play sport and watch sport.I want girl who like wear blue jean.
• am chinese, 38 . no kids but someday i like to have some . iam 5, 10 , long blk hair and eyes. ive been a stagehand for a 11 years now . i do concerts here in amarillo ,lubbock , san angelo, just about any where that pays . i do hockey too and football here in amarillo / stage show too. i like togo to concerts so that one of the resons i do what i do , i like to fish ,go camping ,any thing outdoor. iam a big fan of nascar

Match.com day two

Well, it hasn't been very eventful. I emailed the two guys I mentioned in the previous post... we'll call them the musician and the professor... (gee... that sounds like Gilligan's Island) but haven't heard back from them. They are probably as busy as I am. I just hope if that they are not interested in pursuing conversation with me that they would at least politely tell me that. I sent out about 15 emails yesterday to various people. Some were those that I was interested in, some were just some comments or questions I posed, and others were the "thanks, but I don't think we're a match" emails. I am sure that some of the people are like me in that they haven't become members and that's why they haven't emailed back. But I'm sure there are those that just aren't interested in me for some reason... though I can hardly imagine why, with me being such a great catch and all. But regardless, I think it would be a polite courtesy to let someone know that your email was received and perhaps appreciated, but they are pursuing other interests or something along those lines. I can handle the rejection as long as it isn't rude or hurtful. I would prefer the truth in most cases.
Well, I did get two emails today from others. One was the polite, "thanks but I've met someone" which was nice to know. The other was in response to my "thanks but you're too old" email that I sent. Maybe age isn't a factor for others, but I think that 52 is a bit much for me. I have put 45 as my limit and that is 9 years older than me.
There have been people looking at my profile, but nobody is sending any messages. I'm wondering if something is wrong with it... other than being wordy... which is just me. Maybe my readers can check it out and tell me what they think. I don't know if this link will work, but maybe you can try it. Be honest, but also be nice.

A lazy Sunday

It felt really good to sleep in today. I slept all the way until 8:30 or so. I could have stayed in bed longer, but I couldn't go back to sleep. I didn't have to go to Mass today since I went yesterday.

So I'm trying this match.com thing. Today I finally did the three day trial thing to see if it's worth it and so I could read the emails I had waiting. Well, of the five, three of them were from the same person. Another was from a guy that is too old for me personally. He is 51. The last was from one of those scam type people that can't write in what would even be close to proper English and mentions that he is out of the country... of course.

But since I had the capability of emailing others, I decided to do some heavy surfing today. I checked all the profiles that had viewed me and emailed a few people. I also emailed some others that hadn't, but I found interesting. I also emailed two of those that had originally emailed me telling them that I didn't think we were compatible, but mentioned that I would be willing to chat with them some time. (See, Richard, I'm not just ignoring everybody.)

Well, I had two IM conversations today. One is from the guy that emailed me 3 times and I am not sure how to tell him politely that he isn't my type without sounding like a snob. He seems very desperate and from the conversation, he just isn't up to par. I don't want to sound judgmental because I'm trying not to be, but is it wrong to have certain standards?

The other IM was from a guy in Lubbock that seemed pretty decent from his profile, but in the conversation, he made numerous references to sexual intimacy and what a big deal that was for him. And for your information, it wasn't exactly towards me in saying that I was hot or anything, but more along the lines of the fact that he generally rushed that part of relationships often and is what he was looking for.

So I've struck out twice so far. On the upside, there is perhaps one potential possibility that emailed me after I emailed him. There is at least a common link of music with this guy. Then I got another email from someone that I didn't think we were exactly compatible to some degree but I asked him a question and he was kind enough to respond. That guy seemed very intelligent (he's a professor) so perhaps I could strike up a friendship with him.

I'm still a bit skeptical about it all, but we'll see where it takes me in the next few days. It should at least make for some more interesting posts here.

Simply Tired

I had to get up early today in order to go to the UIL Superconference. It stinks getting up early on a Saturday. The conference was decent and the kids seemed to enjoy it. After I got home, I took Josh to band and I picked up some lunch. I was feeling tired and decided that I really needed a nap before the rehearsal before Mass. I set my alarm so I wouldn't oversleep. I guess I was exhausted because the alarm came as a surprise and when I woke up I couldn't remember why I needed to get up. It took a few minutes for me to realize that I needed to get ready for Mass. It was a nice service. The RCIA class from last year was supposed to take the offering up but when I asked Father about it he seemed to indicate that I should just stay in the choir. I figured that was o.k. because there would probably be others there that could do it. I was disappointed to see that nobody from my class was there.
Well, I'm tired and I am afraid if I go to bed I will just have to get up shortly to go get Josh. But I think I'm just going to have to give in and hit the sack.

A Friday with nothing to do

I can't believe that I have a Friday during the school year with nothing going on. I don't know what to do with myself. Supper is cooking and I have a bloody mary to drink. What more could I ask for? Tomorrow, I have to drive all the way to Hereford in the morning, then ride a bus back to WT, then go back to Hereford, then back to Canyon. Then I have to be at church by 4:30 to get ready for our Thanksgiving Mass.
My cousin just called and invited Josh and I over to visit before they head back to San Diego tomorrow. So I guess I do have plans for tonight.
It's not exciting, but at least it's something I guess. Now I have to go get dressed to go out.
I have nothing more to report. Come back tomorrow and maybe I'll have something more to share.

No interesting title

A long day once again. I wanted a little bit more sleep this morning, but had to make myself get up. School was o.k. I didn't feel very confident in teaching debate today. I think I will chop it up into short segments and teach it a little at a time. I don't want to take away too much from the students that are working on tournament materials. I stayed after school for an speech team meeting and to allow the students time to practice. I didn't leave until shortly before six. I didn't have time to cook supper so I picked up McDonald's. My aunt left me some money before she left yesterday. I didn't even notice it until this morning. So now I'm not completely broke, just mostly broke. I scarfed down my food and then headed out for choir rehearsal. I'm almost afraid to say it, but I think I'm getting better... or maybe I have a little more confidence. But I'm still enjoying it. We are singing for a Thanksgiving Mass on Saturday celebrating the fact that we've been in our new building for a year. I really feel blessed to have found such a wonderful family.

I got home shortly after nine and did my various computer things. I put my profile on match.com about a week ago and I've gotten four emails now, but I can't read them yet. I can't afford a membership until payday. I'm kind of curious about who has sent me messages though. My luck will be the typical guys that can't spell and are not very discerning about who they meet. You really have to have some standards. Yes, you can't have them so high they're unreachable, but poor grammar really bothers me. Now I'm relaxing with a glass of wine and I'm really, really going to try to go to bed before 11:00 tonight. Wish me luck.

Introducing the New Annabel

As much as I complain from time to time, I am in a really good place in my life right now. I know God is working in me and trying to teach me patience... but I'm a slow learner in that respect. But let me give you an example of how I've changed.

My ex-husband was supposed to bring me lunch yesterday at school and visit. He was due to arrive at 11:30 but didn't show. I called him and he hadn't woken up. He felt bad, but I told him it was o.k. and I really meant it. (See, that's where the surprise is.) On some level, I kind of expected it, but it didn't matter. The old Annabel would have told him that it was o.k. when she was really actually irritated by it. Then she'd talk bad about him and say things like "I knew he'd blow it yet again" and such. But now, it didn't bother me. I talked to him tonight and he apologized again and said he felt bad and I took him at his word. Old Annabel would have thought, "yeah, right, more excuses." I think maybe I've just grown up a little bit and am learning to not sweat the small stuff. I have that book, actually, but haven't read it. Maybe I should.

I didn't get to post yesterday because it was a long and busy day. School as usual, but then I got home and visited with my aunt and cousin. We went out to dinner that evening, then came home and visited some more. I played bartender and made margaritas for everyone. And before you ask, I only had one. I didn't get to bed until after 11:00.... again. Today was a long day at school, but still a good one. I'm thrilled with my students. I now have over 40 students on my speech team. I'm taking 24 students to the first speech tournament next weekend. And my wonderful blog friend Susan has kindly agreed to be a judge for the tournament.

I stayed for a little while after school today to get some work done and figured I had just enough time to fix a quick dinner before RCIA class tonight. But when I walked in the door, Josh asked if I was ready to go. I asked "where?" He reminded me that he had a piano lesson. So I took him to his lesson while I worked on my debate lesson plans for tomorrow. Then we came home and I didn't have time to cook, but he said he'd fix himself something. I gathered my materials and went to class. Yes, I took the class last year and I don't need to go, but I want to be able to really soak in the material. I know I don't really need to add something else to my schedule, but it's something I enjoy. After class, I stayed and visited with my friend Carol and one of the people going through the class. She also has to get annulments and we visited about that. It was really great to talk with the two of them. This girl reminded me a lot of myself as she talked about her feelings about the Church and everything. I really felt inspired and excited. After that, Carol and I visited for a long while. Finally I decided I had to get home. I suddenly realized that I only had a brownie for supper. I came home and changed clothes and tried to find something to eat. The problem is that all we have is stuff for bigger meals, so I had popcorn for supper.

And that's it for my busy day. It's not slowing down any time soon. Tomorrow is choir rehearsal. Friday is actually a night off. Saturday morning is a speech event (but not tournament) and Saturday evening is our Thanksgiving Mass at Church.

A desire to stir things up

I don't know what's gotten into me, but I am in a kind of fiesty mood lately. After writing the letter to the principal/superintendent/personnel director because of the fiasco at Josh's school, I guess a fire has been lit under me or something. I probably won't stir up any trouble, but I kind of feel like it.

Last week we had our weekly Orators (speech team) meeting after school. These meetings so far haven't lasted very long, but I think they're necessary for the team to get together to discuss important issue and to make decisions. One of my students stayed for the meeting and asked me to email her coach saying she would be late. I did as she requested and wrote her a pass when she left to go to practice. The next day, the student said that her coach requested that she not miss any more practices because she made a choice to be be in volleyball. I asked her what about her choice to be involved in speech? Is that less important? I have a problem with this for several reasons. 1. If the coach had a problem with her being late to practice because of another school sponsored activity, she should have discussed it with me as the sponsor and not relay the information through the student. 2. I am disturbed by the great deal of importance given to sports in most school districts and the fact that it never seems to be o.k. to miss a sports practice or be late to it for any reason other than death. 3. Although I think being involved in competitive sports can be worthwhile for a student, I feel that if they choose to be involved in other worthwhile activities (especially those that are academically challenging) that they should have the right to attend extra practices for it as well. But I will keep my mouth shut for the moment and not stir up trouble. I just think it's a bit ridiculous because if anything, speech competition will help these kids far more than being in athletics. They will have more of an opportunity to get scholarships because of speech competition, than a team trophey. Good communication and speaking skills will benefit them far more in life than the ability to serve a ball.

Now for my second rant. I found a copy of the local newspaper in my yard when I was cleaning it up and I skimmed through it and found an article written by a protestant minister about "these young folks with tattoos." I was quite bothered by the disdain of the article. I felt that the guy was make huge assumptions about people that have tattoos and their moral character. I happen to have a tattoo. I love my tattoo. I'm thinking of getting another one that celebrates my faith. Now, I don't particularly care for the look of those with numerous tattoos all over their body, but that is my preference on appearance... not a judgment about someone's character. It's not that I want to really take a stand on people's right to be tattooed and encourage it, but it isn't always an indicator of what is going on inside a person. Someone could have some "bad" tattoos that they got while growing up and making mistakes as most people tend to do at some point and then have a complete turn around. That person may have to live with those tattoos as a reminder of a bad time in their life... but it's their choice. I thought that the Christian faith was to teach about love and acceptance of all people including the sinners. Who are we to judge them?

Now I'm off of my soap box for the moment. At least it hopefully makes for more interesting posts. Oh.. I got two emails in my box on match.com, but I can't read them because I can't afford the membership fee at the moment. At least on yahoo personals, you didn't have to be a member to be able to read an email that someone sent. Well, I better get back to cleaning. Company will be arriving in about an hour.

Slowly getting back to normal

The pity part is over for now. I know I need to quit being so damn impatient and that things will happen in time. I'm going to try to focus on the things I should be doing rather than the things I want to be doing. I didn't get my house completely clean, but it's close. I got the extra bedroom cleared of all the stuff that has been in there since I redid the bathroom. I mostly cleaned the kitchen, the living room is tidy. My bathroom is cleared, but I still need to clean the counter and such. Josh's bathroom is clean. I don't know why I worry so much about the state of my house when people come over. I don't want to be judged, I guess. I have to learn that it's o.k. to not have a house that is scrubbed clean from top to bottom. That just isn't who I am. My life is much too busy to keep it that tidy. And if someone judges me for that.. oh well.
My friend Brent came over tonight and we had a very nice visit. I was making Manwich for supper and I invited him to eat and he said it was one of his favorite things to make. So we ate dinner, visited a long while and had a very nice conversation. He told me that he recently played Scrabble for the first time and I was in complete shock. I mentioned that I loved playing Scrabble, but nobody would play with me. (And my ex still accuses me of cheating) But he offered to play a game so I took him up on it. I did beat him by a large margin, but he was very gracious about it. It's been a while since I've been able to simply enjoy a friendly game.
I haven't done a single thing to get ready for school this week. I guess I'll catch up one of these days... maybe by Christmas.
And Summer... I really appreciated your comment on the earlier post. I don't often see myself like that and it made me feel very good about myself. I don't think of myself as being intimidating at all, but your kindness really lifted my spirits considerably. And Rebecca, thanks for commenting as well. I certainly stand by that statement and I'm glad you agreed with me.

More IM Conversation fun

Let me preface this is saying that I don't tell all men that I Instant Message with that I'm not interested in a relationship up front. Generally I only do this when it's obvious that the person is a. lying b. someone I'm not interested in for some reason or c. I'm just cranky after other pointless conversations. So don't say "Well, you tell them this right up front so how can you expect to meet anyone?" If they are actually from around here or strike up a somewhat intelligent conversation, I see where the conversation goes. I'm certainly still skeptical about meeting someone from online, but since I don't get out much, I might give it a chance if someone seems remotely interesting, truthful and interested.

annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:44:58 PM): depends on what you want to chat about
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:45:25 PM): on friend ship
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:45:31 PM): ok
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:47:08 PM): What do you do?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:47:35 PM): am a millitary man
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:47:49 PM): i teach macial art
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:47:59 PM): what kind?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:48:29 PM): war attack s
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:49:01 PM): and you waht to you do
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:49:11 PM): I am a teacher
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:49:57 PM): ohhhhhh that nice
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:50:01 PM): are you maried
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:50:09 PM): no, I'm not
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:50:09 PM): ?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:50:18 PM): ok
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:50:26 PM): do you have kids
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:50:34 PM): yes, a son
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:51:21 PM): ok
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:51:36 PM): can you put your pic here
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:51:40 PM): on the window
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:51:44 PM): pls
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:51:55 PM): where is your picture?
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:52:19 PM): My picture should be there... i have it labeled as being shared.
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:53:27 PM): add me
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:53:43 PM): can you see my pics
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:53:46 PM): too
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:54:06 PM): no, and I don't add people as friends until I'm interested in them after a lengthy conversation.
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:54:35 PM): ok
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:55:21 PM): tell me more about you
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:55:31 PM): what do you want to know?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:56:07 PM): your home
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:56:16 PM): have you been maried before
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:56:21 PM): your age
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:56:40 PM): I live in Texas (as is indicated in my profile)
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:57:08 PM): I have been married before, but am divorced and have had the marriage annulled by the Catholic Church
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:57:17 PM): I am 36 (also in my profile)
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:57:25 PM): ok
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:58:18 PM): ok
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:58:23 PM): do you have a cam
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:58:35 PM): no, I don't believe in cams... I think they're pointless.
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:58:57 PM): how do you mean
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 9:59:05 PM): ?
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 9:59:46 PM): They are distracting. I think that people that use cams generally are only interested in sexual things and that's not something I'm interested in taking part in online.
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:00:08 PM): ok
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:00:15 PM): itb true
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:00:18 PM): If you want to see what I look like (if it's that important to you) then there's a link on my profile.
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:00:39 PM): that sound great
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:00:53 PM): you talk responsible too
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:01:22 PM): well, yes, I'm a teacher
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:01:38 PM): but for the record... I'm not interested in any kind of online relationship if that is your intention.
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:01:58 PM): no i sick a wife
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:02:09 PM): sick?
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:02:19 PM): and where are you from?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:02:19 PM): i lost my wife in the mortor accident
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:02:28 PM): California?
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:02:31 PM): Where were you raised?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:02:33 PM): west cal
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:03:08 PM): in west cal too and move to india
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:03:21 PM): so you're not american?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:03:52 PM): i am
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:04:00 PM): you don't sound like it?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:04:48 PM): if you say so
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:05:05 PM): well, yes... because it is my opinion
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:05:36 PM): ok
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:05:51 PM): tell me how old is your kid
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:06:09 PM): he is 15
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:06:16 PM): ooh
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:06:23 PM): that is nice
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:06:28 PM): lives with you
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:06:32 PM): now
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:06:38 PM): yes he does
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:07:07 PM): ok
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:07:16 PM): were do you teach
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:07:30 PM): at a high school
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:07:39 PM): ok
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:15:52 PM): do you leave along
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:15:58 PM): in the house
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:16:02 PM): ?
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:16:03 PM): leave along?
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:16:15 PM): well, no I don't live alone because my son lives with me.
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:16:17 PM): yes
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:16:37 PM): a family house
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:16:39 PM): see... your grammar is giving you away as not being american or at least not a graduate of high school
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:17:07 PM): how come i am a milltary man
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:17:17 PM): what do you mean
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:17:30 PM): i dont like it ok
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:17:39 PM): when you say such
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:18:18 PM): sorry... it's my opinion again.. but most people with a high school education that are born here have better grammar skills.
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:18:30 PM): I'm not saying it to be mean... it's simply the truth in my book.
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:18:54 PM): and I don't appreciate people that aren't honest with me and pretend to be someone other than who they are.
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:19:23 PM): thanks for the abuse
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:19:25 PM): ok
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:19:33 PM): can we talk now
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:19:37 PM): perhaps
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:20:57 PM): are you looking for man too
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:22:05 PM): I already told you in the coversation that I'm not.
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:22:19 PM): Annabel Lee: but for the record... I'm not interested in any kind of online relationship if that is your intention.
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:23:33 PM): i am interested in a woman
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:23:40 PM): obviously
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:23:41 PM): that i can get maried too
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:23:48 PM): have you been married before?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:23:56 PM): yes
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:24:35 PM): well, I hope you find someone.
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:24:50 PM): i hope so too
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:27:49 PM): you look cuty
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:27:59 PM): in the profile pics
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:28:11 PM): thanks, but I'm not interested.
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:28:35 PM): how do you mean ?
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:29:09 PM): I'm not interested in a relationship. I'm not seeking a husband online.
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:29:23 PM): ok
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:29:33 PM): what about good friends
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:29:41 PM): maybe
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:29:51 PM): ok
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:29:58 PM): we can be good friend
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:30:12 PM): you talk so responsible
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:31:03 PM): yes, but I prefer people that speak on the same level.
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:31:29 PM): ok
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:31:37 PM): if am so little
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:31:52 PM): maybe you can make me impove
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:32:12 PM): I can't "make" you do anything. If you improve, then you'll have to do it yourself.
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:32:21 PM): You want to tell me really about yourself now?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:32:47 PM): what do you want to no
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:33:00 PM): where were you born?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:33:11 PM): cal
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:33:17 PM): what city?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:33:26 PM): san babara
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:33:42 PM): how long did you live there?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:34:05 PM): about 9-10 year
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:34:15 PM): how old are you?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:34:30 PM): 42
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:34:39 PM): what year did you graduate high school?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:35:03 PM): i dont get yo well
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:35:19 PM): In what year did you graduate from high school?
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:35:25 PM): It's not a difficult question.
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:35:34 PM): ok
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:35:35 PM): 1988? 1985? 1990?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:35:58 PM): 1979
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:36:22 PM): in the san west high school
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:37:55 PM): So you graduated when you were 16? That's interesting. Most people graduate at 18.
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:38:07 PM): can you spell the name of your birthplace correctly?
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:39:05 PM): santa babara
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:40:55 PM): well, it's past my bed time, so good night
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:41:58 PM): can i add you
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:42:02 PM): ?
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:42:06 PM): not yet
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:42:25 PM): but how can i im you
annabel_lee_tx (9/6/2006 10:42:32 PM): you can't
sklein_calvin (9/6/2006 10:42:42 PM): ok

Notice that he still couldn't spell Santa Barbara correctly. I would think that one would at least be able to spell their birthplace correctly, unless they're from Poughkeepsie. (And yes, I had to look that one up to spell it correctly. Here's another one for your enjoyment.

annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:16:38 PM): buzzing is rude
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:17:03 PM): yeah is rude ma
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:17:16 PM): how are you doing
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:17:29 PM): if you agree that it's rude, then why do it?
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:18:06 PM): just trying to get your attention
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:18:37 PM): if I'm online, I can hear when someone sends me a message... you don't have to resort to buzzing.
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:19:02 PM): aight sorry about that
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:19:04 PM): ok
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:19:37 PM): how old are you?
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:19:40 PM): what's your lovely name
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:19:48 PM): 43
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:19:54 PM): and you
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:20:07 PM): I'm 36 and my name is annabel as is indicated in my profile.
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:20:48 PM): kool
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:20:52 PM): are you there
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:21:24 PM): For the moment
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:21:46 PM): yes
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:22:53 PM): do you have kids
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:23:07 PM): I have a son
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:23:30 PM): good
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:23:51 PM): but annabel you you are so cute
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:24:02 PM): iwas just seeing you now
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:24:18 PM): where are you from?
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:24:56 PM): NY/BRONX
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:25:01 PM): AND YOU
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:25:25 PM): Texas... as is still indicated in my profile.
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:25:37 PM): KOOL
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:25:46 PM): WHAT DO YOU DO
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:25:57 PM): I am a teacher
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:25:59 PM): and you?
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:26:05 PM): and stop shouting
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:27:15 PM): WHO IS THAT GIRL THAT IS MAKING ME FEEL THIS WAY
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:27:25 PM): I DON'T SHOUT ANNBA
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:27:58 PM): Typing in all CAPITAL letters is shouting in IM's
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:28:18 PM): IS JUST THAT I CAN'T GET MY EYES OFF YOU
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:28:51 PM): YOU ARE SO GORGEOUS
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:29:09 PM): I'm bored with this conversation
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:29:20 PM): why babe
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:29:41 PM): Don't call me babe
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:29:50 PM): I'm not interested in a relationship
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:29:53 PM): well.........let me make it lively with you
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:30:00 PM): why babe
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:30:21 PM): What part of "Don't call me babe" did you not understand?
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:30:44 PM): sorry annbel
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:30:55 PM): are you mad at me
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:31:22 PM): You haven't impressed me
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:31:35 PM): uhhmmmmmmmmm
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:32:16 PM): If I ever saw an angel, it was in your eyes
annabel_lee_tx (9/1/2006 10:32:32 PM): This is getting old
bunindwer_2009_smith (9/1/2006 10:33:42 PM): 'll sweep you off your feet, and make God regret he left an angel behind."

Still in the funks

First I'm going to get on my soap box and reply the comments in my previous post.

EVERYTHING ISN'T ALWAYS ABOUT SEX. Now that I've said that, I feel a little better. My lack of dates has not been because I'm turning down guys that find me sexually attractive. The weirdos I've been referring to are those guys that claim to be from the US and it's clear that English isn't their first language and they keep lying to me and seem to think they have developed feelings for me based on a single, brief, IM conversation. I haven't had much in the way of the perverts contacting me. And no, I'm not going to ignore someone just because they may make a comment on my attractiveness. But if they ask if I want to watch them jack off (pardon the term, but it gets the point across), then I politely tell them I'm not interested.

I am flattered to a degree if someone thinks I'm attractive, but if they only comment about my pics and do not ask me any other questions in getting to know me, then I do tend to write them off and it is considerably after more than three words. Then are those others that really make me feel good about myself that asks me about pics in the first couple of lines of conversation and then once they've seen them, they make a not so nice comment (I think the last one was "You're one of the fatties.") and abruptly leave.

AND FOR THE RECORD... I do not have any problems with my sexuality. I have a normal sex drive whearas Satan himself has more of an overactive sex drive. (If you haven't figure it out by now, Satan is my ex.) I'm not going to say it's bad that his is far more active than mine or the fact that our morals are quite different is a bad thing. That is his choice and mine is simply mine. I am no longer going to apologize for being who I am and I will not make attempts to be somebody I'm not in order to please someone else. I know that sex isn't evil and it is a beautiful thing. I see it through much different eyes now, but it's not something I find scary or dirty or bad. I am not running away from my sexuality. I am simply choosing to not make that a priority in my next relationship. If that's the first thing to be considered, then frankly I'm not interested because I want someone to be interested in me for me regardless of my level of attractiveness or whether or not I turn them on.

And thanks Susan for calling me a hottie. I appreciate it. I have never ended conversations with someone simply because they found me attractive... it was only after it became an obsession or it got perverted. And Summer, I do trust my judgment very much, and I honeslyt try to not judge too early. But some conversations speak for themselves. I'll post a few again and will let my readers determine if I'm being too judgmental.

Now for my funks. I'm not sure what it is. In my journaling workshop I wrote about things I've lost in my life and then focused on a particular thing which was my friendship with my former best friend. That got me thinking about things and I started to wonder if something is really wrong with me. I've lost and found my self-esteem on occasion, but for the most part, I think I'm a pretty decent person. I have my flaws and I can be a little shy, but I think that I am really quite nice. But I can't figure out why I just don't have many friends and haven't gone on a date in over a year. Am I oblivious to something? I actually think I'm a better person now that I've focused more on my faith but I also find that I am feeling much more alone. I don't think it should be that way.

It doesn't help that I'm having money issues right now. The bills are paid, but there's $42 in the bank to buy groceries for a week and a half. Josh constantly needs money for school and it's taking it's toll. Luckily my dad gave me $40 today so that certainly helps. I just hate living month by month with absolutely no savings. Somehow I've always managed, but I hate just barely making it. I know that money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure helps to have it.

I've always been a strong person because of my independence and simply dealing with surviving sometimes. But you know what? It would be nice every once in a while to just be able to depend on someone else or perhaps just have someone to talk to, you know? It's a good thing I have this blog to vent to every once in a while.

I have so much to do and really don't feel like doing anything right now. I am not motivated at all. Josh is going out tonight and I just want to sit in my recliner and do nothing... which I may very well do. I need to get things done by tomorrow evening, so there's nothing like putting things off until the last minute.

Sorry for the pity party. I should be back to my old self in a few days.

My Boring Life

Just another day. Went to work. Taught classes. Had a meeting after school. Narrowed the t-shirt choices down to three. Came home, made supper. Went to choir practice. Came home and got on computer. And that's it. My friend from Austin won't get in until after 11:00 and I'll be in bed by then. Still nothing remotely exciting in my life.

I'm really not complaining (too much). I have a pretty decent life. I'm actually pretty happy at this time in my life. I love being involved in Church. I have a good job and usually enough money. But I still feel like I am missing something. I don't know if it's a relationship. I think maybe it's just companionship or something. I have things to do; I have my son; I have my pets; but I still feel alone quite often. I feel like I'm not living up to my potential sometimes. I just feel like I'm lost and feeling my way around.

I try to pray daily and I always pray for others. Sometimes I feel selfish when I ask for my own prayers, but I do pray for either a relationship or to remove the desire for it. The thing is that we as humans crave companionship. It's in our nature. God created Eve for Adam so he wouldn't be lonely. My problem is that the lonely guys out there are still the internet freaks and weirdos. Yes, I know... "Quit looking and the right one will come along." Well, I'm not really looking. I haven't been involved in any online dating things in a long while. And I know that Prince Charming isn't just going to land on my doorstep, but I just don't know what else to do. I'm doing nothing and nothing is happening. And I know that I'm supposed to "Be Patient." I'm trying. I'm praying for it. But I'm almost 37 and I'm facing a future alone. Sure, I'll always have those acquaintances, but I need something more than that. And I know that it may not be God's will for me to be with someone. A part of me thinks, though, that I'm not meant to end up alone. So I sit here in yet another quandry that will pass for a while before it returns again.

Sorry to get so bummed out, but just had to put it out there. I may just delete this post tomorrow, but here it is for now.

Another day in the life

I got to sleep in until 8:30 this morning. It was quite lovely. Then I went to the meeting. It was decent... nothing too exciting, but I did get to meet the new speech teacher at Josh's school. They actually have someone that knows something about speech that is going to be teaching them. We had lunch then visited for a while. Of course I wasn't going to rush back to school since the sub was going to be paid for a full day regardless. Unfortunately, I did have to go back over there for a meeting after school. I had intentions of getting some housecleaning done. I did get the dishes unloaded and loaded in the dishwasher. Then I took a nap. Probably a mistake, but I figured I deserved it. I got up in time to go to another pointless meeting. I read my sub notes and it was as expected. My Comm. App. class was horrible. My other classes were great.
I left school at 4:45 and picked up Josh for his piano lesson. I spent time crocheting the baby blanket and I'm making progress. Then we came home and I started supper (hamburger helper tonight). I tallied the results from the votes for a new speech team t-shirt design. I think a few of my designs made it to the final five. We'll do final voting tomorrow during our meeting after school. And if you're as bored with this post as much as I am in writing it, I apologize. Maybe something inspiring will happen one of these days.

It's bed time already?

I hate having to get ready for a substitute. It takes several hours just to prepare to be gone for one day. I tried to get it done before school was out, but wasn't even close. Because I'm carpooling I had to go ahead and leave by 4:30. So I came all the way back home to drop my carpool partner off and then I came in and checked my email. I headed back up to the school about 20 minutes later and stayed almost two hours. But I got what I needed done. I came home and picked up Josh as he was walking home from school after a meeting for the musical. He feels like he's getting typecast because he's playing a sailor again. But really, there's not much choice since the musical takes place on a ship. After that, we went to Walmart to get a few groceries. We got home shortly after 9:00. Thankfully, I get to sleep in tomorrow. I have a meeting at 10:00. Unfortunately, I will have to go back to work in the afternoon because we have a meeting after school. Go figure.

I hope I can get some house cleaning done tomorrow. I have a lot of company and friends coming this weekend. A friend of mine from high school will be here Thursday evening and we are going to get together for a chat. And before your minds wander... it's nothing romantic... he's gay. Then my cousin will be getting into town on Saturday. My ex-husband will also be coming through and I'm sure we'll visit as well. Then on Monday my aunt and uncle are coming in and staying here for a couple of days. So I have yet again, much to do, and not much time. Let's not forget choir rehearsal Thursday evening as well.

My ex awarded me his own version of a bloggy. I was awarded the Most Consistent Daily Blog. Well, I guess that's a good thing. I may not always say something inspiring, but you do get at least a small glimpse of my fairly dull life. Sure, my blog was much more interesting when I was writing about my heart getting torn out of my chest and ripped to shreds.... just kidding... it was never that graphic. But I guess if I have less drama and less heartache, it's a good thing. I still wouldn't mind a simple date, however.

Even though I don't have to get up early tomorrow, it's past my bed time and I'm tired. Hope everyone has a great day tomorrow! (or today if you're reading on Wednesday)

A Quick Trip

Sorry for the lack of posts. At least it's good to be missed even if it's only from my blogging friends. I didn't have anything to say on Friday really and I didn't have much time since I decided to go to the game. I went and watched the band and left after half-time. It's a good thing I did. They got rained out shortly after that and the game was called off.

On Saturday I slept in until a little after 8:00. I got up and started getting ready for a quick trip to Albuquerque. We hadn't been up there since February and we intended to go this summer and just didn't make it. We intended to leave by 11:00, but you know how our intentions tend to go. We had to go to the music store to Josh new piano books that were on hold for us. I let Josh do the driving and he drove all the way to my aunt's house by himself. He only scared me once when he overcorrected.

We made it to Albuquerque by 4:00 or so and then I started setting up my aunt's new computer. She got a new laptop and she will soon join the world of the internet. Unfortunately, she lives in the mountain and trying to get the dial-up service to work was pointless. When I could get it to connect, it was running at 14 kbps and I couldn't get any pages to load. I could, however, get my uncle's computer to connect at 56 kbps and so I did some research and checked the costs of her getting the satellite service. It was more affordable than they thought so we ordered it and they should have it set up within a week or so. So next time I go up there, I should be able to get connected as well and I can update.

After that, we went into ABQ and had dinner at my sister's restaurant (Chili's). I made a complete pig of myself and had a Presidente Margarita. It was quite yummy.

On Sunday, I went to Mass at a mission church in the area. My aunt's friend's housemate is Catholic and he came by to pick me up. I will probably write about the service on my other blog when I have time.

I started crocheting a baby blanket for my cousin's new baby and I got about half of it done between the car trip and just sitting around. We went shopping on Sunday and my generous aunt bought Josh clothes to wear at speech tournaments. She got him two dress shirts and two ties and a blazer. I will need to get him some dress pants. She also bought me a gray suit. In addition, she gave both Josh and me $20 to spend at the mall or bookstore. I got a book that I wouldn't normally buy for myself that was $15. Josh got an Elvis skeleton statue and a complete music score of the planets. (He ended up with $40 because he's spoiled.)

We picked up KFC for supper and then headed home. I spent the evening working on the blanket while watching a horrible movie called Syriana. It stars George Clooney and Matt Damon and it was just very strange. It keeps popping back and forth with different scenes and it was very hard to follow.

This morning I got up and called my sister. We went into town to see her and then we went to lunch at Macaroni Grill. After that, we went to Hancock fabrics. I got some yarn and some beads for a rosary. After that, we headed back home. I drove until Tucumcari and Josh took over then and brought us home. He's doing pretty well driving. He still hugs the right of the road a bit, but overall he's a good driver.

Now I'm trying to get caught up on things. I have a lot of blogs to read, things to wash, and I need to get ready to go back to school tomorrow. I have to get ready for a sub on Wednesday. And since I'm not getting anything done while I'm sitting here on the computer, I'm going to have log off and get busy.