Friday, February 11, 2011


I just feel beaten today.  So now I’ve had a glass of wine and I’m on to a bloody mary.  To hell with drinking alone.  I rarely drink, but some days, you just need a drink or four.  I have a yearbook student that is trying to get out the class, but she has not finished her pages that were assigned LAST October.  I told her mother that I wouldn’t release her until her pages were completed.  Her mother has now demanded that I let her out of class so she can attend core class tutorials.  So what this does is teach students that it is ok that not finish commitments.  I just give up.  It’s not worth the fight any more. 

Matthew had an interview at another local high school today.  I got to school way early this morning and left him a card on his car to wish him luck.  This is in spite of the fact that he said that he “needed time and space to process.”  He said thank you for the card and I replied “you’re welcome.”  Other than that, I’m laying low and not communicating with him, which is hard, but yet another fight I don’t want to pursue right now.  I just don’t understand the men and their cave thing – but whatever. 

I went to the mall today to see if I could find a Valentine’s Day card that was appropriate.  I cannot tell you how difficult it was to find something that seemed to fit.  None of the lovey-dovey cards would do and what do you get when your relationship is really on the fence at the moment?  So I found something that was o.k. and I’ll send it to him via school mail on Monday.  I honestly don’t expect him to reciprocate.  Yesterday I tried to get him to have a quick dinner with me and he wanted to put me off until next week.  That’s when the whole, “I need time and space” thing came up.  Next week, however, is my Capstone exam so I will be overwhelmed with that. 

I’m going to finish my bloody mary and watch another episode of American Idol that I missed and then probably call it a night.  I just don’t care about today any more. 

1 comment:

Leann said...

Good morning chica. I hope your Saturday brings you joy and sunshine. My thoughts are with you as you trudge through this challenge with Matthew. In all of this please remember that you are worth so much more. Relationships that require so much effort generally are not God's will. Just my 2 cents worth. It could also be because I care much more what happens to you and your mental health than Matthew's. Enjoy your Saturday and treat yourself well.