Magic of Music

The Showcase of Music overall went pretty well last night. I didn't really mess up or have any issues like I have at times in the past. Last year a key got stuck in the middle and I had to stop playing for a minute or so. I felt kind of out out place though. I think I'm still trying to fit into a place where perhaps I don't belong any more. I hardly know anybody involved there other than a few of the music teachers that are still around. My talent has waned over the years because I play only a couple of times a year. I can't play anything too complex and I don't have to time to really practice much. I really felt like an outsider this year. Perhaps it's time to retire from participating in it and just go as a spectator from now on. It's just that I really miss playing in an ensemble and making music. I guess that's why I have joined the choir at church. Although I still am not a "singer", I love being in a music group again. I guess I can carry a tune of sorts, but I completely lack any kind of confidence when it comes to singing. But I still love it. And I am still able to play my clarinet. I am playing tomorrow at the Palm Sunday Mass and next week on Good Friday. Josh will be playing on Holy Thursday, Easter Vigil and on Easter Sunday.
Sometimes I wonder if I should have stuck it out as a music major. I quit because I didn't want to be a band director and I didn't like the business classes involved in music business. I couldn't think of anything else I could do in relation to music. Somebody asked me once what my dream job would be. I think I would love to be a music librarian. I still have the passion for music and I love being a part of that crowd. Problem is that jobs in that area are few and far between and the pay is minimal. But I still think I would love it.
I am still trying to figure out my path in this life. I think that I am where I am supposed to be right now. And maybe this is truly where I'll be staying. I don't know. I don't have to have all the answers right now. All I know is that I've missed music and I want it to be a part of my life in some way.