Need a plus one

Today has been a melancholy day for me.  I tried to get out of the house but then found myself indecisive and once again unsure as to what to do.  I went to Taco Villa and picked up lunch and then went to a park to eat and read.  I read for about an hour and then decided to go to Best Buy to pick up some earphones.  I did that and then decided to brave the mall.  All I did was walk from one end to the other, look at washers and dryers briefly at Sears and then leave.  Then I went to Kohl’s and I tried on a few shirts and none of those really struck me.  I guess I wasn’t really in a shopping mood.  I didn’t like the traffic that I had to deal with today or the crowds.  I could have gone to the party, but I just didn’t feel like being social.  I didn’t want to be alone either.  It makes me realize that I just want to have a plus one.  One person that I can do things with.  It doesn’t have to be fancy or cost money.  I just want that kind of interaction.  I almost went to the movies by myself, but I couldn’t even talk myself into that.  So I just came home. 

As much as I like having extra money by taking in a roommate, sometimes I miss my privacy.  It’s not that she’s in my face or anything… she stays in her room most of the time, but I just miss having the house to myself.  She used to go home on weekends, but decided that she would do better studying by staying here and she trades me in housework instead of me charging her extra rent.  But there are times that I just want to be alone without dealing with someone cooking in the kitchen or doing laundry or whatever.

I’m feeling that itch of needing a change.  Problem is that I don’t know specifically what kind change.  I just need something different.  A different job, a different house, a different city, a different hairstyle, I just don’t know what it is or even how to go about it.  I’m sure the itch will go away, but right now I just feel very incomplete.