Sunday, February 27, 2005


I just feel overwhelmed. I don't know where to begin. It's been a long time since I've been in this state. Wondering where my life is going and what's going to happen. Being the type of person I am that insists on knowing everything at every moment makes all this difficult. Sometimes I think things will be o.k. and at other times I truly wonder. I question everything and am never satisfied. I hate that I don't have the answers.
I'm sorry. I'm having a self-pity moment. I hope it will pass soon.
I'm a strong person. I know this. I know I'll manage somehow. But sometimes I just want to throw my hands in the air and say "I give up!"
The one person I really want to talk to and let all my frustrations and fears out to is out of reach. And I feel quite alone.
Don't get me wrong. I have a few friends. O.k. one or two that live here and then my handful of online friends. Summer & Grumpy have been wonderful offering me their thoughts and support. And it is so very much appreciated. And it does help.
But when I'm sitting here crying for the 4th or 5th time this week, I don't know what to do.
Yeah, just get over it. Suck it up. Deal with it.
Easier said than done.

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