Wednesday, April 20, 2005

My Biological Clock

Is that what I hear faintly ticking? O.k. maybe it has to do with the fact that I was watching Father of the Bride part II. But it got me thinking. Gee, twice in one day, I'm on a roll!
Do I want to have more children? Converting to Catholicism and potentially getting married some day means I have to be open to having a family. Although Catholics cannot use birth control, they can use natural family planning to space out births.
Had I married Marty, I would not have been able to have more children. But I was o.k. with that because I thought we'd have a great life and could spend the time in simply taking care of and loving each other.
Now that I'm "on the market" again and the fact that I do have hopes to marry some day, I have to consider the possibility of having another child. A part of me thinks it would be great to be able to experience pregnancy and raising a child again... especially in an environment of being married. But then I also have to think about the fact that I'm 35. While that is not necessarily too old to have a child, I'm getting up there. By the time I find another relationship and perhaps get married, I might not be able to have a child. I also have to consider the fact that in the next few years I may be having a hysterectomy. Not by choice, but understanding that this kind of thing runs in my family. My mother had one at the age of 36, my sister at 29, and my cousin in her 30's. It's not to say that I'll definitely have one, but the chances are probably above average.
I guess I shouldn't really worry about all this. I know that God will provide and if it's His will for me to have more children, it will happen. But patience has not been my strong suit. I guess that's what I should be praying for.

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