Monday, April 18, 2005


It's an interesting concept - being at peace. But for some strange reason, I feel that way. I'm in awe with myself because normally I'm devastated for a few weeks. That tells me either I didn't really love him (but I know I did) or there's a greater power above myself at work here (most likely the latter). Let me give you an example. I worry a lot. Some things make me nervous like turbulence and flying in thunderstorms. But neither of these things really had an effect on me last night. And in general I just feel at peace in a way I can't really describe. I just seem to know that things are going to be fine. Maybe it's because for the first time I'm trusting God to do His work.

So what's next for me? I have no idea. But I'm going to start sending out my applications to school districts. I don't think I can afford not to. I really need the health insurance. And I think it's going to be o.k.

I still want to find true love some day, but I'm not going to actively look for it. But I have noticed that I'm not quite dead yet. I have been noticing very attractive men and thinking hmmmm... he's cute, wonder if he's married. I haven't made any kind of moves... I really don't have any. I'm too shy to do anything like that. But at least I'm not shutting men out completely.
I think we have a new addition to our family. My ad about the puppy has run twice now and we haven't received any calls and there was no matching ad looking for her. I just can't imagine someone not wanting this sweet little dog. I have no idea how she came to be sitting on my front porch, but perhaps she's here for a reason. I've named her Mollie. And if her owners come looking for her, I'll give her back, but I don't think they are.

Look! A post without something about Marty! Ooops... I guess I just mentioned him. No word from him. He left this morning to fly to Anchorage and then to Nome. He'll be in Nome for two days and then to his station at Port Clarence. We're staying friends. I would expect nothing less.

No work for me today. I was supposed to go to Sunray dark and early this morning and then remembered that TAKS testing is going on and I figured that I'd get all the way up there and the teacher would be giving a test. So I called her at home at 6:30 to make sure. Glad I was right. I didn't really want to get out of bed.

So I'm going to work on my school applications today, do some laundry, and just take it easy.

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