Almost Friday at least

Once upon a time I had Andrew’s number and if I could find it, I would try to give him a call.  I thought I might have it one of my old cell phones, but I can’t find the charger for one of them and the oldest one is deader than a doornail with a charger attached.  I thought I had my old computer where I’m sure it was in an email, but that’s gone too.  I guess it will just be a wait and see game.  I think he’ll get in touch or start posting again when he feels better.  He’s been known to stay offline for a few weeks if he’s having a difficult time.  So I’ll just remind him that I care about him, and I hope things get better soon.  All I can offer are prayers for him and whatever situation he’s dealing with. 

I had grand plans to grade papers tonight, but I spent most of it looking for the phone cords that I just didn’t get it done.  Now I’m ready for bed so I think I’ll try to just get up early tomorrow and get to school early and get some grading done then.  I’m showing a movie in my English classes, so that will be a nice change from teaching.  I’m glad tomorrow is Friday, but that means that my midterm is getting here faster and I’m not ready at all.  I haven’t even started printing all the articles I need to read for the test that is timed. 

Time is just flying by so fast.  I have so much to get done that the mountain just seems to be growing.  I get a handful of things done and then 10 more things are added on top of it.  I feel like I have absolutely no time at school any more.  One 45 minute conference period just isn’t enough to prep for three different classes.  Having to work in the library and monitor ISS each day is really not helping me get a lot of stuff done.  I guess I’ll just manage like I always do.  I shouldn’t really complain, it just seems like I have less time this year than I did last year.  Well, I’m going to go to bed.  I think I’ll be able to sleep tonight – I feel rather exhausted.

Where’s Andrew?

I have no idea what is going on with Andrew right now, but I’m worried about him and wish he would contact me.  He has done this before, but this time it seems a little more unexpected though he did note that he was feeling out of sorts a few days ago before he pulled his blog down.  I had his phone number at one point, but it is probably saved in an email that no longer exists from a computer I had 5 or 6 years ago.  I’ve emailed him, but I would venture to guess that he is shutting down altogether and won’t check his email.  So I’ll send out my plea via my own blog that he just let me or someone know that he’s ok and perhaps he needs to take some time off from the blog world altogether.  I don’t think he quite realizes that there are a lot of people that do care about him and worry when he shuts down like this.  I hope he is safe and taking care of himself.  I will pray that he has the strength he needs to get through whatever he may be dealing with right now.  I do hope he’ll contact me. 

Today was very full despite the fact that I wasn’t at school.  Last night I was up at the school until 8:00 p.m. preparing for the sub that I would have today.  I was able to sleep in this morning, thankfully, and got up around 8:00 a.m.  I had a meeting at 10:00 but left early in order to find parking.  We met for about an hour and a half and then a group of ten of us went to lunch together.  It was nice to visit with lots of people and enjoy a good lunch.  (I had a grilled chicken salad with blue cheese dressing.)  After lunch, I went to the library on campus to do my observation.  I stayed from 1:30 until 4:00 and then had a very long walk back to my car.  I came home and started working on my homework, but didn’t really want to focus.  I decided I wanted a corn dog for supper so I headed to Sonic for dinner.  Got a corn dog, tots, cherry limeade, and ice cream for dessert.  I came home and worked on my homework and got everything finished.  I still need to do lesson plans and figure out what I’m going to do in English class tomorrow, but I think it will have to wait.  I’m tired and I’m going to bed.  But Andrew – I think you still have my number – and if not, I emailed it to you, – you can call ANY time. 

Prison Pete Update

As promised, I’m giving you an update on Prison Pete.  But first, I’ll need to give some you some background story.  I started blogging in May of 2004.  At that time, I didn’t have a lot of other blogs I read and very few people commented on mine.  I found that by reading other blogs and commenting, I would draw readers to my blog.  Blogger at one point had a way you could go to random blogs with a click of a button and so when I was bored, I’d click through and find different blogs to read.  I’d also check out the blogs of note from time to time, though most of them were not very interesting as they typically dealt with technology or something.

So through some kind of randomness, I found a blog called “Prison Pete.”  It was written by a guy named Pete (not his real name) who was actually in prison.  Now, he didn’t have internet access, but he had a friend on the outside who would post his letters to a blog for him.  I found the reading quite interesting as I had no clue of what prison life is like, but I also noticed that he was very literate.  I sent a message through his blog that his editor would forward on to Pete and he responded.  At the time, I didn’t know what he was in prison for, and had wondered what he might have done since he seemed rather intelligent.  I was amazed at the regularity of posts for someone that was in prison.  It turns out that Pete would write lengthy letters to his friend (the editor of the blog) and the editor would post parts of it daily.  I found it quite fascinating and out of the blue one day, I sent a message to blogger recommending it as a blog of note.  Amazing, it became a blog of note within a week or so.  And then things took off.  I won’t recap the details, but you can read my post on it at the time. 

It was through this blog that I found my longtime blog friends Andrew and Summer that I cherish.  So, Pete’s blog took off and it became a big deal for a while.  I ended up striking a friendship with Pete’s editor because of all of this.  He didn’t expect the explosion that happened from becoming a blog of note.  I eventually got Pete’s real address and corresponded with him a few times.  At that point, I was made aware of what he was in prison for and I will not share that information here.  I certainly do not condone any of his actions, but I remember that he is human and writing him never caused me any unease.  Since then, his blog has had some erratic moments where nothing would be posted for a long while and then it would start up again.  I have not written to him directly in a few years now, but I would still read posts when they happened. 

So out of the blue a few months ago, I got a strange instant message.  It was from a girl named Shawna asking me if I could tell her how to contact Pete.  She said she didn’t know him, but wanted to get in touch with him because she dreamed about him.  I told her that I didn’t have the right to give out his mailing address to someone I didn’t know, but that I would get in touch with his editor and have him contact her.  At that point, I realized his blog had been set to private and I couldn’t read the posts.  I emailed his editor and it took him a while to reply.  The editor and Pete have been friends for a long time (since high school I believe) and he has been one of the few friends that hasn’t abandoned Pete altogether.  His family wants nothing to do with him.  The editor’s wife, however, has not been keen on their correspondence.  She ended up giving him an ultimatum to stop writing Pete or she would leave him.  There’s no real cause for this as Pete hasn’t done anything force this, but he had to oblige.  So since May, Pete has had no contact with his editor, and thus no more posts to the blog.  His editor feels very bad for him because Pete really doesn’t have anyone and prison is a very lonely existence for him.  When he first began posting, he was going to be eligible for parole in 2009, but that didn’t happen.  His next eligibility date is 2015.  I’m going to try to make the effort to write him at some point.  So that’s the update on Pete.  Not sure if any of my readers other than Summer and Andrew have been around long enough to remember him, but that’s as much as I know at this point.

It’s a Monday

Not a bad day, just full.  We had shorter classes due to having a motivational assembly at school today.  That makes the day go by really fast.  I have to prepare for a sub on Wednesday which means I’ll be at the school until fairly late tomorrow.  I left school early today and posted my response for class as soon as I got home.  I heated up some chili and had frito pie for dinner.  Then I felt exhausted.  I attempted a nap, but didn’t sleep.  I got up and put in grades for my yearbook students but realized I couldn’t finish grading their powerpoints because some were done in keynote and I didn’t bring my macbook home.  So I guessed and put some temporary grades in and will just get to school early tomorrow morning to finish. 

Though I’m not sure I really needed a sleep aid tonight, I just took an ambien because I really want to get a decent night’s rest.  It took a while to fall asleep last night and I need to be more focused tomorrow.  There’s so much to get done and not enough time. 

And thus my life back to the boring stuff as always.  No men to gripe about (still haven’t heard from Matthew again – getting the silent treatment once more), nothing interesting going on.  Just life.  I’m not complaining – I know it could be worse.  But I’m finding it difficult to blog these days without anything much to say.

Oh – I do have an update on Prison Pete, but I think I’ll save that for tomorrow – it will give me something specific to write about.  I recently talked to his editor and will let you know the scoop in tomorrow’s post.

Grading Sucks

I think I’ve mentioned this only a few thousand times, but I hate grading papers.  I feel obligated to assign work to my students, but it means I also have to grade it.  I had what I thought was an ingenious plan this year by having daily “bell ringer” activities at the beginning of class.  It would be an easy grade that accumulates throughout the week, but it turns out it takes time to go through 4 classes and assigning points for each entry.  I spent from 3:30 until 9:30 grading papers and getting all my grades updated.  I still haven’t given any grades for yearbook, but I’ll work on those grades tomorrow. 

I slept late this morning, did some laundry, and loaded the dishwasher.  Didn’t clean my desk and living as I planned, but I did pay bills.  I goofed off online for a while, but I did get one of my homework assignments done.  I thought it was relatively easy as it was using search engines to find information.  I have to complete a post for one of my classes by tomorrow but I’ll do that during ISS tomorrow afternoon.  Nothing like waiting until the last moment for things.

Not much to tell today – just not ready for another week of school.  Wish it were Thanksgiving already. 

A lot nothing today

There was much on my to-do list and I did almost none of it. The only thing I did do was play at church at the 5:00 mass. I slept in and just stayed in bed this morning. I eventually got up and had some breakfast. I did stuff on the computer. Goofed off basically. I heated up yet more chili for dinner and had frito pie. I watched the movie Up in the Air tonight. I had never seen it. It was kind of sad. But it was entertaining and I enjoyed it. I know lots of people don’t like to travel, but I actually don’t mind it. I like getting away from where I am and going someplace else for a little while. I think it would certainly get old to travel too much though. But I guess if you don’t have anything tying you down, it wouldn’t matter so much.

I’m feeling a little lonely today. I usually have so much to do that it doesn’t bother me most of the time, but I had a thought that when I actually do become a librarian and I have no more grad school, no papers to grade, no lessons to plan, and I have evenings back to myself, what am I going to fill it with? What am I going to do? Will I still be doing it all alone? I should revel in my independence and sometimes I do. I look forward to my weekends when my roommate is gone – though even when she’s here, I hardly know it. I just long for a companion, I guess. Ah well, no use complaining about it, I guess.

I did have a thought tonight though. I have some pajamas that I never wear. I’m not talking about skimpy lingerie or anything, but it is a set of silky pink pajamas that are rather pretty and I’ve dubbed them as being “special.” Back in my more promiscuous days, I wore them for company so to speak. Tonight when I was getting ready to change into my typical old long pants and t-shirt, I wondered why I never wore the special pajamas any more. After all, it has been a great many years since I’ve had a guest over. Why should I deprive myself of wearing something pretty just because nobody is here to appreciate it? So I put my pretty, pink, silky pajamas on tonight. I figure I might as well get some use out of them and quit keeping them in the bottom of the drawer.

Guess I’ll go to bed so I can do a bunch of grading and cleaning tomorrow. At least I look pretty in my pjs.

Bored on a Friday

It’s Friday evening and I brought a bunch of papers home to grade, but of course I’m not doing any of that. We had an early out at school today and though I was supposed to stay until 4:00 but I left 10 minutes early. I only felt a little bad. So I changed into pajamas and reheated the chili adding lots more stuff and made it more edible this evening. I had a peach for dessert and it was really good. This is a shocking statement because 1. I don’t eat fruits and vegetables as much as I should and 2. I would usually go for the cookie for dessert and I have a package of the thin mint knock-offs in the cabinet. I also have decided to give vitamins another shot. I have to say that I know I should do things like take vitamins, eat better, exercise to be more healthy, but it usually just doesn’t happen. I am horrible about taking pills regularly. Good thing I don’t have to deal with birth control. But I’m going to try vitamins and see if it helps with energy during the day. I think it worked today.

I’ve been sleeping much better – without anything to help. I was in bed by 9:30 last night and fell asleep right away. I was awake early though. I woke up shortly before 4:00 a.m. I tried going back to sleep, but it was no use. I gave up at 5:30 and started getting ready which is about 45 minutes earlier than I normally get up. So I got to school early and worked on grading papers again. I figure I earned leaving 10 minutes early.

Tonight I guess I’ll finish the book I started a few days ago and head to bed early again. Tomorrow will be grading. I’m playing at Mass tomorrow evening which means I’ll have Sunday free. I do need to do some house cleaning – it is getting bad again. The thing about not dating is that I tend to let things go because I don’t have the incentive to keep up with them.

A text conversation

Out of the blue Matthew texted me tonight. Did I ask why the heck is was texting me? Did I tell him to just go away? Of course not. Here’s the conversation:

Matthew: “Hey Annabel. Why can’t I decide what I want to do? One minute I love it here and the next I want to apply for a job out of state.”

Annabel: “I don’t know. I wish I had answers for you. When I feel lost, it is usually time to go by faith and just know that everything works out the way it is supposed to. I focus on the things that I can control for the moment.

I think you’re feeling restless. I go through that every five or six years.

So I think I can empathize but not sure that I can give you advice or the answers.”

Matthew: “Wise words oh sage of Canyon.”

Annabel: “I try. But does it help?”

Matthew: “Actually yes…just knowing someone else understands.”

Annabel: “Well that I do. But I would suggest not making any hasty decisions. I think you need to figure out why you’re feeling restless rather than just acting on it.”

Matthew: “Are you sure you don’t want to be a counselor rather than a librarian? How is class going?”

Annabel: “Well, school counselors don’t counsel, they make schedules and do testing, so no, I don’t want to do that. Class is fine – keeping me busy with assignments due every Monday and Wednesday. I’m making good grades so far.”

Matthew: “Would there be any doubt”

Annabel: I’d reply to that, but will try to remain modest.”

And that’s the conversation. Perhaps I should have said something about his behavior, but I decided that I should just be kind and be understanding. If he continues to contact me, I’m sure I’ll eventually say something, but I got the feeling that he just needed an ear tonight. Don’t worry, I’m not being a pushover, just a friend for the moment.

Believe it or not, I spent time grading some papers this evening, but I did get to a point where I just can’t focus any more. I hope to get up early and do some grading at school before classes start. I really hope I can get caught up by the end of the day so I don’t have to spend all weekend grading.

I hate grading

One of the least satisfying jobs in teaching is grading papers. I admit that sometimes I do enjoy reading what students have written, but I hate attaching a grade to it most of them and feeling the pressure to get assignments graded in a reasonable amount of time. Even with having time to grade 7th period every day, I’m still way behind. Of course I’m blogging instead of grading papers like I should be.

I got my homework for this week done. I was told that for this class, we would spend a minimum of 6 hours per week doing assignments. I find that to be an exaggeration. If I were really doing all the readings, it might be 3 or 4 hours. My other class has taken up more time simply because it takes longer for me to write essays. I have a midterm coming up and I have to read 30 articles (in advance) for it as it is a timed test that must be completed in one sitting no more than 4 hours.

So in other interesting news – I ran into Matthew today. I had to go to the administration building (where he works) for my training today and I guess he was coming back from lunch to his office and I was headed to the lab and we met in the hallway. He acted very nonchalant as though nothing was going on. He asked me how I was doing and I said “fine.” I asked him how he was and he just waved his hand as though saying “just ok, not great.” He asked why I was there and I told him I had ELA training. And that was it. He headed to his office and I headed to the lab. I don’t know if he is just oblivious, but I couldn’t believe that was it. Could it be that he has no clue that his actions have been very irritating?

I made some chili (without beans) tonight and was not very impressed with it. It lacked flavor and was rather bland. I usually like to eat my chili with white rice, but I ended up giving most of my bowl to the dogs. I enjoyed the ice cream I had for dessert much more.

I guess I’ve put off grading long enough. I need to at least get 4th period’s letters read.

Halfway through the week

I didn’t realize this morning that I hadn’t blogged yesterday. It was a typical day of things always moving too fast. I was a bit miffed about something my principal asked of me yesterday. I’m trying to get my students to turn in their work by assigning tutorials which count as absences if they don’t show. I turned in forms that they signed indicating they were aware of the tutorial and then shows that they were a no show. Before my principal will use these to file on them for absences, she wants me to call parents about it. I’m not against calling parents, but I think an absence is an absence and it is the job of the attendance office to call parents when they miss class. It may be zero hour, but it is a requirement when a tutorial is assigned. It is just one more thing added to the heap of other things I have to get done.

I got an email from one of the teaching assistants yesterday telling me that one of the resources I used for an evaluation wasn’t correct. She gave me the opportunity to turn in a correct one, however, so I did that as soon as I got home yesterday. I then finished my quest so today I have to do this week’s evaluation and post a discussion question. And then I have to grade a million papers.

I have to miss one of my classes and the rest of the afternoon today in order to go to yet more pointless training. So I stayed after school printing copious amounts of notes for my students to copy while I’m gone.

Well, I need to hop in the shower and get going this morning. At least we’re to the halfway point this week.

Paper done, got a call

Today we had a meeting before school about the United Way. I will probably donate again this year, though I’m sure I won’t win a big t.v. again. School was fine. I had a lot of students that didn’t complete their rough drafts of their letters in my English classes so I assigned them tutorials for the morning. Those that don’t show will be turned in as an absence. I’m such a mean teacher. But I did get several of the rough drafts turned in for a late grade so that helped. I didn’t stay very late after school. I left around 4:20 and got home close to five and worked on editing my paper. I had it basically finished when I decided that as a reward I would go pick up Taco Villa for dinner even though that meant a trip to Amarillo. It was so worth it. I overindulged thanks to my current appetite increase, but I enjoyed every bite. I was continuing to work on my paper when the guy from Odessa called. Turns out he does have a nice voice which he mentioned in an email. The only kind of weird thing is that he has what I would call a nervous laugh. He would end comments with it so it was a bit odd to me. But we had a nice conversation about travel, his career and writing, my job and such. We talked for about an hour. After I hung up with him, I made a few last minute corrections to my paper and just submitted it.

Last night I wasn’t sure about being able to add a reference to my paper so I posted a question about it on the online board. At first the teaching assistant said that it was strongly discouraged and wanted to know why I felt the need to use one. I replied that one of the points I was making required me to look up some additional information and I felt the need to credit the source. The actual professor then responded and commended me for my observation and gave me permission to use the source. So I felt better about the paper I wrote after that. It’s probably still not perfect, but I think it will still score an “A.”

I brought home papers that once again will go ungraded. I did get some graded last night and all were done by the time I had my English classes. I started a book yesterday that I think I’ll read a bit tonight. It’s one of the discarded books from the library that was written in 1968 but it’s a cute mystery involving nuns.

That’s all the excitement going on here. Tomorrow will be just as exciting, I’m sure. Hope you’re not reading this blog while driving!

The Party and other stuff

The party was fun but not terribly exciting. It was good to see some friends that I hadn’t seen for a few years. The food was really good and I probably ate way too much of it. I had a few drinks but didn’t get drunk. I realized it had probably been about five years since I’ve been to a party like that. I’ve been to a few get-togethers with fellow teachers, but that’s it. I need more of a social life. Of course I don’t have a lot of time for one, but it would be nice. I made the time during my brief dating experience.

I sang at church today in the women’s ensemble. Then I picked up some lunch and started on some homework. I went to the library around 2:30 and struggled through writing my article that is due tomorrow. I got it finished around 5:00 and then went to Sonic because I really wanted a burger and tots. I am going through my phase of eating everything in sight right now. I came home and have yet to grade a single paper. I really have to get through the letter rough drafts tonight. It’s already 9:00 so I’m not very hopeful.

I got a couple emails from the guy in Odessa today. In the last one I sent him, I gave him my number. Guess I’ll see if he calls at some point.

I need to edit my paper, but I’m waiting for a response from the teaching assistant. I’ll take it to school and work on it during ISS tomorrow. Nothing like procrastinating, is there?

Well, for your enjoyment, he’s a picture of me at the party last night. And yes, that is a pillow under my shirt.

Off to the party

I’m dressed and ready to go to the white trash party.  I think I did a pretty good job of dressing the part.  I’m taking my camera so hopefully I can get a picture, but I’ll try to paint you one.  I’m wearing plaid pajama pants and pink slippers with a t-shirt that says “Just Divorced” with a checklist of things I should do now that I’m not married so to speak.  I put a pillow under my shirt to make it look like I’m pregnant and looking for a new baby daddy.  I had these fake tattoo sleeves that make it look like my arms are completely tattooed.  I overdid my make-up with bright blue eye shadow, lots of blush and very sparkly pink lipstick.  My hair is in pigtails with my bangs in foam curlers.  As a final touch, I have rainbow butterfly dangling earrings.  Will try to post more tonight or tomorrow. 

Stuffed

It was a very long day today, but it went by fast.  Today was picture day so I spent the day in the gym handling that.  My classes had to come down there and just sit since I didn’t get a sub.  It would have been more work for me to plan for a sub, so if they’re not going to do anything anyway, they might as well be where I can deal with them.  The day went very smoothly which is always a good thing.  I didn’t have to teach today which was nice.  My yearbook kids helped out all period and they were hard workers.  I have an awesome staff. 

I left school shortly after 4:00 today and then helped my roommate shampoo the carpets in her room.  My friend Pam and I headed out to dinner shortly before 6:00.  I think I ate my weight in food.  We shared some chips and queso and then I had a southwest chicken wrap with curly fries, a pina colada, and we shared a brownie with ice cream for dessert.  Now I’m stuffed and almost a bit miserable, but the food was really good.  I’m wondering if 7:30 p.m. is too early to go to bed. 

Tomorrow I’m going to enjoy sleeping in.  If you recall, last Saturday, I got up early to clean out my garage before Matthew came to mow, went to the store, and got the dinner stuff prepared before I found out he was canceling dinner on me.  I’ve just decided that boys are stupid.  (No offense to my male readers, but as far as dating goes, I think they just don’t have a CLUE.)  I have tons of papers to grade so I may get myself to the library where I can hopefully concentrate.  I have a paper to write this weekend as well.  It seems the homework is never ending. 

So that’s my life in a nutshell at the moment.  Tomorrow is the white trash party so maybe I’ll have more interesting blog fodder when I get back from it. 

Nothing special

Can’t say anything special is going on here.  I made my English classes check out books today.  A lot of them told me that they hadn’t checked out books since the 6th grade.  These are seniors, mind you.  I just can’t fathom people that hate to read.  Picture day is tomorrow and all my classes have to meet in the gym and bring something to do.  I figured my English classes should have to read a book.  I may have lost favor in being their favorite teacher, but oh well.  

I waited after school for students to show up to make up missed tutorials, but nobody ever did.  I left by 4:30 and heated up my leftover cashew chicken for dinner.  I intended to take some for lunch but I forgot it at home.  So I skipped lunch today.  I have choir rehearsal tonight so I’ll head there in about 45 minutes. 

I think I’m ready for picture day tomorrow but I have to get there early.  Though I slept pretty well last night without taking anything, I think I’ll take an ambien just in case.  Tomorrow evening I’m going out to dinner and then on Saturday I’ve been invited to a white trash party that I think I’ll go to since I’m obviously not going to the symphony with Matthew.  He never responded to my last text.  Go figure. 

We’re getting some rain here which would please Andrew.  Amarillo was flooded earlier today, but only getting a little bit here.  Well, I’m going to get ready for choir and then probably call it an early night tonight.  Tomorrow will be a long day. 

Just another day

Nothing exciting to report.  I taught classes, graded papers, planned for the upcoming picture day.  I texted Matthew before leaving school telling him that I was cooking cashew chicken tonight and he was welcome to join me if he was so inclined.  He declined stating that he had just gotten home from meetings in Amarillo and still had work to do.  I sent another text that asked whether I should assume that he’s not interested in going to they symphony this weekend due to his confusion or whatever.  I have yet to hear back.  I don’t know why I keep trying, but I think this will be it for me. 

Got an email from the guy in Odessa.  Nothing major there.  I did make my cashew chicken for dinner which was quite delicious as always.  Of course I have tons of leftovers.  It is not a meal to make for just one person, but since I already had the chicken and vegetables cut, I needed to make it.  So I guess I’ll be eating it for the next few days. 

I got all my homework done for class so I’m caught up for the next few days.  Tomorrow I have choir rehearsal and Friday I’m going out with my friend Pam to dinner.  Not sure what the weekend will entail other than homework.  I did start reading a book last night so I’ll continue with that.  Not sure what else to do this evening.  I don’t want to grade papers as usual.  Life is getting back to simply being dull without much to report. 

On a roll

I’m feeling somewhat accomplished these days though I’m still perpetually behind it seems.  I had another active teaching day, but I eventually got my lesson plans done and submitted although they were a few hours late.  It could be worse, last year I didn’t submit lesson plans at all the second semester.  I got home around 5:00 this evening and made a quick dinner and then got started on homework.  I finished my quest activity and just posted it and my evaluation that is due tomorrow.  Now all I lack is writing my thinking response and I just penned my ideas on paper for that.  I’m going to read some articles and see if it sparks anything to add, otherwise I will write it up tomorrow and get it submitted. 

I texted Matthew today and asked about the silent treatment I was getting.  His response was that it was a combination of being busy and trying to figure the world and his life.  Translation:  “I can’t decide who I might be interested or what I really want, so I’m going to go off to my man cave and ignore the world hoping that an answer will magically appear because I can’t deal with anything else.”  I just told him that I figured something was up and to let me know if I could help and I was there if he needed to talk.  His response: “Thanks…you are a sweetheart.”  Translation:  “That will hold her for a few more days thinking I still have an interest, but keeps me from making any kind of commitment to anything else.” 

So, yeah, not expecting much to happen there any more.  I don’t know what it is with guys and their inability to know what they want.  If they’re not ready for a relationship and don’t know what they are looking for, why use an online dating site?  Why make contacts?  I guess they think that they’ll “know” when they see it – but that’s a load of crap.  You have to work to get to know someone and after time, you’ll know one way or the other, but if you KNOW you’re not really ready for a relationship then stop dating.  Ok, enough of my soapbox. 

I really wish that I could stop time for about a month to catch up on work.  Guess I’ll have to muddle through.  I should be grading papers and getting ahead of the game, but we ALL know that isn’t going to happen.  I’m thinking of reading a book instead.  Shhh, don’t tell.

Busybody

It seems like every day at school I’m constantly going.  I’m not sure how things are getting done.  I have been actively teaching and working with students daily.  No down time to work on anything else.  My conference period is spent working on lesson plans, grading, and a myriad of other tasks to be done.  Today I didn’t do much library work – mostly listened to the librarian rant a bit about her duties as technology facilitator.  I spent the ISS period updating grades in the online gradebook so I could print out progress reports for students since tonight was back to school night.  I was surprised how many parents came by.  A little over half of my parents came and signed in.  So with parent night, I was at the school for a little over 12 hours today leaving shortly after 8:00 p.m. 

I had a paper due today and got it written yesterday but needed time to edit so I did that before the parents starting coming.  I uploaded it a short while ago.  Now I have to get my quest, talking point, and evaluation done for this week.  Those assignments are due Wednesday.  Since I haven’t heard from Matthew, I’m assuming he has no intention to join me for dinner this week so I guess that means I’ll have tomorrow to work on that.  Yes, the signs were all there and I chose to ignore them.  I’m just waiting for the official word from him – which I’m sure will eventually come as a text message instead of telling me face to face. 

But in other news – I did hear from one of the other eharmony guys again, so who knows if that will go anywhere.  This guy is younger at 36 and has never been married.  He is a journalist.  If I meet him at some point, I’ll give him a pseudonym and give you the scoop.  Otherwise, there’s not much to tell other than we’ve emailed a few times. 

I’ve been taking a benadryl before bed lately because it seems that my allergies kick up around 8:00 each evening.  Tonight I’m not feeling it but debating whether I try to sleep without taking anything or take an ambien tonight.  But it’s already getting late so I’m going to head to bed and see what happens.  If my mind is still racing in 30 minutes, I’m going for the drugs. 

Time to get busy

Ok, enough about Matthew.  What else is going on in my life?  I’ve been keeping my house clean amazingly enough.  Laundry is done, dishes are clean or in dishwasher.  Now the yard is mowed.  It is a good feeling.  Grad school is going fast and furious.  I have a paper due tomorrow.  I went to the library to work on it and got most of it done when I realized I needed to add something to it and then I overanalyzed everything and decided I couldn’t finish until I got further instructions from my professor.  So I came home to post my questions.  I went to church today and it was very uplifting.  I was kind of in a funk with the whole you know who thing and church always seems to make me realize that there’s bigger things than one’s petty crushes.  I need to focus more on other things I think.  I’m headed back to church shortly to have some barbeque which should be good.  It means I don’t have to cook supper which is great because it is still difficult to cook for one. 

Tomorrow is back to school night where parents come visit so I’ll be there forever.  It lasts from 6 until 8 so I won’t get home until close to 9:00.  That means I have to finish my paper tonight and probably get my information quest done.  I also have papers to grade but I don’t know if that is going to happen.  I think I will spend time on that during the day tomorrow and after school when I have to be there. 

By the way, Josh is doing well in college.  Last year he had a 4.0 making all A’s the whole year.  This year he had a hard time filling up his schedule to get full time hours because he already had most of his basics done.  He’s being active in his newly formed fraternity having had rush week and he calls to let me know what’s going on. 

Well, I’m going to head to the church for a quick bite and then get back here to finish my paper and the million other things that need to be done. 

Coming out of the clouds

Not that I’m going to defend Matthew with this post, but I’m starting to realize some things.  I have to say that I’ve pretty much have had my head in the clouds the last few weeks and it’s probably time to get back to a little reality.  First of all – we’re not in a relationship.  There’s nothing exclusive, so in that sense he can certainly date others if that is what he is doing.  Of course it is rather crappy for him to make me think that I’d be making him dinner and then have other “commitments” come up, but nothing can be done about that.  I know he’s not trying to encourage me and probably because he knew that I was getting more interested that he was.  It’s not to say that he’s not interested.  I know he he is, but I also realize that I may not be his only interest and he still has the other issues going on. 

So it’s time for me to take a step back and get focused on other things.  It is not to say I’m no longer interested in him, because I am – I’m just more wary about it.  Today was eye opening in that respect.  He did come mow my yard as promised and he was very thorough about it.  It took him about an hour and a half.  I helped by clearing stuff so it was a productive day.  He stayed for about 30 minutes when he finished, cooling off and having some lemonade and water.  I told him that I still had food to cook for dinner and it would be nice if I could make it in the next few days.  He said that Monday or Tuesday might work.  Yes, still a wishy-washy answer, but I guess I’ll take what I can get.  I also mentioned going to the symphony this weekend and he said he was interested in going to that so I guess we’ll see.  But I’m going to try not to create any expectations in my mind like I usually do.

If the other eharmony guys had panned out, I would certainly date others – but that seems to have not gone anywhere either.  So for right now, its Matthew or nothing so I guess I’ll take what I can get and see where things may or may not go.  I just need to be ready for the fact that it certainly may not go anywhere and that’s why I need to readjust my thinking about all of this. 

Already a busy morning

Matthew texted me about 10:30 last night and I had already been asleep for about an hour and a half.  I ended up waking up and I wasn’t sure why and then I checked my phone and saw that he had sent a message.  I took a benadryl shortly after getting posting last night and was fairly zonked.  But then I couldn’t go back to sleep right away.  I got up for a little bit around 11:00 and headed back to bed around 11:30.  I finally fell asleep but it was still an intermittent night.  Good thing is that I didn’t have to get up at 6:00.  I slept until about 7:00 and got up around 7:40.  That is relatively early for me on a Saturday.  I got ready and headed to Walmart to get the fixings for dinner.  But now I’ve just gotten a text from Matthew that says he’s on his way but has other commitments for the evening.  So that is disappointing.  Especially since I already cut up the chicken and vegetables.  Oh well. 

After I got back from the store, I cleaned out a bunch of boxes and stuff in the garage.  I cut up the stuff for dinner as I mentioned before, but I guess I’ll just cook for myself which seems like a huge waste because it is a lot of food.  So I guess I’ll be able to do homework tonight.  I can’t really hide my disappointment, but I guess I’ll manage. 

Just Plain Tired

That’s all there is.  Yesterday I was feeling some allergies coming on so I took a zyrtec around 8:00 last night and was in bed by 8:45.  I still slept a bit intermittently, but was fairly zonked.  This morning I wasn’t having the watery eyes and sneezing, but felt a bit out of place and like my tonsils were starting to swell.  I took two tylenol and a claritin to get me through the day.  Today was full force with lots of teaching as my students are learning how to use the online course program that I use in my classes.  I have to constantly go around and monitor so I hardly sat all day.  Then we had a pep rally at the end of school and after school I had to work the class supper as I’m one of the senior class sponsors.  I was supposed to start my shift at 5:15 but I got there 30 minutes early and ended up staying an hour beyond the shift because nobody came to relieve anyone.  And now I’m simply exhausted.

I am very excited about my yearbook kids though.  They are doing a fantastic job in taking pictures.  We are going to have a really good book this year.  Now if I could just get last year’s book out the door.  There’s just not enough time these days.  I briefly saw Matthew this evening as he came by the supper to pick up a plate to go.  We both had to play it kind of cool but did briefly visit as I was working.  But I haven’t gotten a text back from him after I asked what time he wanted to come by tomorrow.  Hopefully I'll hear from him sometime tonight.  I needed to go to the store to get the stuff for dinner tomorrow, but I just wanted to get home.  I think I’m going to go to bed early and just get up early tomorrow and start cleaning out my garage (mostly not to completely embarrass myself when Matthew comes over) but also because it desperately needs it.  I’ll also go the grocery store and do all the prep work for dinner such as cutting up the chicken and vegetables.  I’ve decided to make my cashew chicken recipe which is always good.

Well, I think I’m going to just take it easy for a bit and call it a night. 

The thing about dating

Despite some of the frustrating and confusing aspects that go along with dating, there are some really good things.  For one, I feel happier in general.  I tend to have a smile on my face more.  I’m more friendly with people and just have more happy demeanor overall.  It’s not to say I’m a depressing person usually – most of the time I’m fairly even-tempered, but something about dating just puts a little more spring into my step so to speak.  Another thing is that I tend to have more concern over my appearance.  I take more time with my hair these days.  I try to dress in the clothes that I love and I think look good on me.  I wear jewelry more often – which is saying something because I rarely wear it ever.  I wear perfume much more often.  I just tend to take a little better care of myself.  I think that dating is just good for me – at least when things are going well.  I know that I’m speaking way too soon, but just having someone interested is simply a pleasant change.  I like the fact that I have someone that I can spend time with and enjoy their company.  I like having someone that I can go out and do things with – those things you never want to do alone. 

Well Marty should be here in about 10 minutes.  Not sure where we are going to go out to eat, but should have a nice dinner together.  It will be good to see him.  I think it is a good thing though that I have another prospect in my life right now.  I think it makes being just friends with him a lot easier. 

This afternoon I started getting hit by allergies.  My nose is runny, eyes are watery and the sneezing is starting.  I’m going to take a benadryl or two tonight and see if I can get it to go away for a while.  I’m not wanting this at all right now. 

Today was somewhat productive at school in spite of the technology issues I had with several of the computers in my room that just didn’t want to work.  But I’m learning the tricks of the trade to clear the RAM and get them going again.  It’s kind of cool being able to learn all this stuff now.  Well, going to get ready to head out – will post again tomorrow.

Had a lovely time

My date was perfectly nice.  We went out to dinner and visited a long while, then came back to the house and visited for about 15 minutes.  Did just a little kissing and he had to head back since we both work tomorrow.  I did get confirmation of something at dinner though.   I asked him if the following was a true statement:

“You like me, but you’re hesitant to encourage me because you think you might fall for me and you’re not sure you’re ready for a relationship.”

He said that yes, it was an accurate statement noting that he needed to work out his issues with staying here before he could commit to anything more.  He said it would be a slow process.  But he also agreed that there is something about me that intrigues him and he likes.  So we’ll see where things go.  I do like him a lot.  I can’t really explain why, but I feel comfortable around him, I enjoy talking to him and just being with him.  He makes me feel good.  And that is a really nice change.  I smile when I get a text from him. 

It’s going to be a busy week.  Tomorrow I might have dinner with Marty.  He’s in the area on his way to Albuquerque and will be here for a few days.  Friday I have to work the class supper so I’ll stay in Hereford for a burger.  Saturday Matthew is going to come over and mow my lawn – he offered because I had told him I was going to call and get an estimate so I wouldn’t have to do it and he said it would just take 20 minutes.  I told him that I would make him dinner so now I have to plan what I can cook for him.  My choices are limited since I don’t have a working oven right now. 

Well, it’s 10 and I need to get to bed.  It’s been a very good day. 

Better Late than Never

I know I’m posting late, but now that I’m back to school both in my job and grad school, time is diminishing it seems.  Today was a full day but I caught up on grading thankfully.  I stayed after school until 7:00 filing graded papers, writing up my substitute plans for tomorrow, creating a test to give and printing everything for my classes.  I’m going to a yearbook adviser workshop in the morning so I had to get everything done before I left. 

I got home at 7:30 and wasn’t really hungry so I started on homework so I could go out with Matthew tomorrow.  I cooked a t.v. dinner but I bit into something that wasn’t right so I threw it out.  So my dinner consisted of a sprite zero tonight.  Guess I’ll fast for the two big dinners I’ll have tomorrow.  (Lunch is provided at the meeting and then I’m going out to eat for dinner as well.)  Tonight I completed one of my evaluations and wrote up the outline for the other one.  I will type that one up in the morning and submit it before the meeting and then I have to finish reading a few articles and write up a two paragraph thinking response and post it.  Then I just need to make sure everything is uploaded and I’ll be good to go.  Since we’re going out between 6 and 7, I should have plenty of time.

So I’ve made the email contacts with the other potentials.  I’ve gotten an email back from both and have gone through a couple of emails with one that lives about 4 hours away.  There’s not much to say about either of them just yet so I’ll update more if one or the other leads to a face to face meeting.  I got a text from Matthew tonight and we texted back and forth for a few minutes.  In one text I asked if he minded driving to my town so we could go to dinner and his response was he loves driving over here.  That was nice to hear.  I think that he likes me quite a bit, but he is hesitant because he is still unsure of what he really wants and if he’s ready to step into a relationship again.  And that’s fine, it’s just good to know what the status quo is.  Hopefully we will talk more about it at dinner.  I want to give him my response to some of the concerns he noted. 

Well, my cat is telling me that it is time to go to bed so I’m going to head that way.  I’ll report more on the date tomorrow.

Coming Clean

Well it has been an interesting night and I can’t say that I’ve had any sleep as of yet – but will get to that shortly.  Matthew texted me today and I again made the offer to go to dinner and he said that it was a distinct possibility.  I texted back and told him how much I loved vague answers – figuring he would note the sarcasm.  He said that he would let me know when he finished laundry within about an hour.  An hour came and went.  Three hours later when I still hadn’t heard from him, I texted him back and said that since I hadn’t heard from him that I figured dinner was out and that if he was interested in getting together tomorrow to let me know.  Around 8:00 he texted and apologized for falling asleep.  I sensed that something was bothering him so I told him I was there if he needed to talk.  At 9:00 I went to bed but wasn’t really sleepy and around 9:30 he started texting me again.  He told me that today he had a lot on his mind and that he realized he is hesitant to share and make himself vulnerable again.  I told him that I understood that feeling well and have had that pain but that I also realized that sometimes it is worth the risk.  He said that if he didn’t think that was a possibility that he wouldn’t have texted me.  He also said that I had a big heart and intelligence.  I sent him a long reply on my thoughts of taking risks noting that I always seem to hold on to hope.  He finally seemed ready to talk so I invited him over. 

So at 10:30 he arrives and he proceeds to tell me about his frustrations.  Part of it is the fact that he doesn’t like the town he is living in because there isn’t much to do there and he tends to feel isolated.  He also has some frustrations with the job.  He was also feeling as though the distance from his daughters was an issue because he wasn’t there for them as they are going through some hard times.  I didn’t want to just bring up my host of concerns on the lack of communication.  I just listened and helped him talk through it and consider all the options he had.  We eventually talked about his concerns in regard to me.  One concern for him is working for the same district and potentially dating.  That I can certainly understand as it can be a tricky issue.  The other was his concern that though we did have a few things in common, that we had some very different interests – mine being roller coasters which he doesn’t care for and his being sports which is not my thing.  But then he said despite that, for some reason I still intrigue him and he keeps coming back.  But at least that explained his lack of communication.  He wasn’t sure how to handle it all and therefore didn’t want to encourage anything – though he would find himself texting me anyway. 

So with all of that said, we continued to talk some and then we kissed.  And kissed.  And kissed some more.  It turns out that I have great skills in that area which seemed to throw a wrench in things for him because he really likes kissing – as do I.  So we spent a few hours just making out – and that’s all – though it did get hot and heavy at times.  Gee, I sound like a teenager, don’t I?  We cuddled and talked some more about relationships noting fears and expectations.  He left around 2:30 in the morning, but seemed to be in a better mood.  It doesn’t clear everything up, but I’ve given him some things to think about.  I did ask him to let me know if at some point he decides he doesn’t want to pursue anything rather than just stop making contact and assuming that I’ll figure it out.  He said he would. 

So now that all of that is going on, I have now gotten emails from two other Eharmony guys.  I’ve been wanting to get back into the dating game for some time and it seems that when it rains, it pours.  So now I’m not sure how to handle all of this.  Matthew is still a maybe, but I’m still very interested.  But I know I shouldn’t limit myself because of that maybe.  But then again, I’m not sure how to go about getting into these new contacts.  It’s all very confusing.  And thus, I have yet to get any sleep.  So I’m hoping that by blogging and getting all of this out, I might be able to go back to bed and at least try for a few hours of sleep today.  Thankfully it’s a day off – though I do still have a lot of work to do. 

Today’s Agenda & Dating Thoughts

I’m going to try to be somewhat productive today – but won’t promise anything.  Believe it or not, the house is still relatively clean though I do have laundry to do.  I need to wash the cover for the couch as well.  I’ll go to the 11:15 Mass and then my goal is to go through the unfinished yearbook and take out unfinished pages and combine others as necessary.  Then I’ll do my readings for school and post my discussion question.  If I’m feeling really ambitious, I may try to start one of the two source evaluations that have to be finished, but we’ll see. 

I went to bed last night around 9:00 p.m. after taking half of a regular (non-ambien) sleeping pill.  It worked and I slept pretty well, though it makes me feel more “drugged” even at a half dosage.  Matthew did text me yesterday after I sent him a text asking him if he was ok.  He replied a few hours later saying that his phone had been off because he had been napping all day.  I then sent another text asking if he was feeling better and still haven’t heard back. 

I did send a message back to the eharmony guy but haven’t heard back.  I got another notification from a different guy this morning and responded to his questions.  I’m no longer receiving matches but this communication was from a guy that had started communicating with me a while back but never got through all 4 stages.  I guess I’m not going to close any potential doors while Matthew is being so wishy-washy.  I don’t know if he intends to be that way, if something is up, or if he just doesn’t “get it.”  I don’t want to draw any conclusions just yet because I do enjoy the times when we are together.  Has dating always been this frustrating?  It’s hard to remember because I haven’t really dated in so long. 

When I started this blog back in 2004, I was going through almost the same thing.  I had been seeing Patrick who is now my friend and happily married to Tiffany – he’s the one that got me started with blogging altogether.  I also had a guy in Michigan that was of interest but the distance was problematic among other things.  And then there was Marty – the boyfriend from high school that entered the picture.  My long time blog readers (of which I think there are now two – Summer & Andrew) know the complete soap opera of that story.  I chose Marty and we had a pretty good run, but in the end, though sometimes he still denies this fact, he wasn’t able to let go of his ex-wife.  We tried again after our class reunion in 2008, but once again, it just didn’t work out. 

Since then there hasn’t been much of anything except for the Thomas fiasco last year.  I don’t know if the new eharmony contacts will go anywhere, but it might be nice to have some “choices” I guess.  Though I think there is some good potential of a relationship with Matthew and that is my preference for the moment, we would have to deal with the communication issue relatively soon.  If/when I do see him again, I have a lot of things I will want to talk about for sure.  The fact that he is local and works in the district is almost a blessing and a curse. 

I guess I’ve gone on long enough about dating – it just isn’t what it used to be I guess – or maybe it has always been this way and I just don’t remember it.  Maybe I should refer to my book of poems I wrote years ago and remind myself that love simply sucks most of the time.  Ok, so it isn’t always that bad, but I’m still wary of making poor choices.  I do enjoy being in a relationship and I think I’m pretty good at it – if only someone would finally realize that!

A Dilemma

I tried calling Matthew today since I went up to the school to do some work.  No answer.  I texted him.  No response.  Of course he could be resting because he’s not feeling well – though I’d think even at noon one would be awake.  Of course he could be feeling better and is just out and about.  The point is that I have no idea and it is still frustrating that he doesn’t respond.  If this was the first time, I’d probably let it go and chalk it up to something is just keeping him busy.  My problem is that my speculation assumes the worst.  It is almost as though he has a secret life.  I just don’t know what his interest level is with me.  I don’t know if he’s still playing the field a bit or if I’m the only prospect.  I don’t know if work just keeps him that busy.  I don’t know if there’s something else I’m not aware of.  And for a person that likes to be “in the know,” it is very frustrating. 

So here’s the dilemma.  I got another eharmony response and since it is the free weekend I can respond back if I so choose.  Though I really like Matthew and would love pursue something with him, I have no idea where I stand at the moment.  When I’m with him, it seems that we hit it off well and he’s quite interested.  Problem is that I don’t see him much at all.  So do I respond to the other guy since I’m not sure or do I hope for the best with Matthew? 

In other news I hurt my foot today by dropping an English book on it.  You must understand that the English book is quite large around 1200 pages and very heavy.  It was so painful that I said the F-word and thought I would pass out for a few minutes.  Luckily I don’t think I broke any bones, but it is quite sore and swelling up nicely.

I got some papers graded but got to the point again where I couldn’t concentrate any more.  I figured that I might as well go home and start on my grad school homework.  Of course now that I’m here, I’m blogging instead of working.  I’m even thinking of napping before I get started. 

Communication

Maybe it is because I’m a speech teacher, but I’m big on communication.  I know I’m not always perfect, but I think active and clear communication is important.  I think what frustrates me most about my job, relationships and life in general is poor communication.  I’m not complaining because of anything in particular at the moment, but it just seems that communication is lacking in several areas right now.  My district has been horrible about communication.  Decisions are made without input from key people and then when something is implemented it is “just because” without really an explanation as to the why behind it. 

I finally heard from Matthew.  Turns out he has been sick again with a bad cold or allergies.  So much for getting together soon.  I did tell him to let me know when he feels better because I wanted to take him out to dinner and he said he would like that.  I guess that is a good sign but the lack of communication from him still bothers me a bit.  I just think that if a guy is really into me, he would stay in touch more. 

It was another busy day at school.  My classes worked on some posters of Maslow’s hierarchy.  I got a little bit of grading done.  I planned ideas for the next week since I’ll miss school on Wednesday for a yearbook meeting.  I updated 20 computers today.  I didn’t stay late though.  I left within 30 minutes of the end of school.  I skipped lunch so I picked up Wendy’s for dinner.  Now I’m having a beer and watching some t.v.  I tried to get my yearbook cover done tonight but it just didn’t happen.  I finished a basic design but I’m now rethinking it and just need to step back from it.

I’m going to go back up to the school and work tomorrow.  I know it is the weekend, but there’s just too much to do.  I also need to start my grad school homework.  I don’t know what it is, but I’ve been wanting to go to bed really early the past few nights.  Last night I took an ambien and slept well, but was out by 9:00 and slept until 5:30 a.m.  Tonight I’ll sleep without it but it is only 8:00 p.m. and I’m already feeling sleepy.

At least it is almost Friday

I don’t really know what to report other than the same old stuff.  Went to school, taught classes, filled out purchase orders, updated computers and started sorting papers to grade.  Though I slept ok last night and felt fairly awake this morning when I got up, the tiredness hit me about halfway to work.  I stayed at school until about 5:00 and then headed home because I couldn’t concentrate any more.  I tried laying down for a bit to rest, but didn’t sleep.  I got up around 6:00 fixed some dinner and now I’m having ice cream for dessert. 

I’ll probably go to bed early again tonight.  I brought home papers to grade, but I just don’t think it will happen.  I really should at least sort through them and get them organized.  I did some of that while in the ISS room today. 

Still a bit dismayed by the fact that I haven’t heard a peep from Matthew.  Hoping it is just being busy but just don’t know. 

At that’s it in a nutshell.  There’s just not much going on other that school.

Just Plain Tired

I took the ambien last night shortly after 8:00 p.m. and I’m sure I was asleep before 9:00 a.m.  I slept through the night and still didn’t quite want to get up at 6:00 a.m. so I hit the snooze a few times.  School was ok, though my 4th period class is a bit too talkative.  Of course after being gone, it is almost impossible to be caught up.  I had to get notes ready for my English classes, put in a travel request, and just play catch up in general.  I spent a period in the library as the librarian talked to the freshmen students so I could see how she did her orientation.  I went to the ISS room last period and worked on recreating a word document in excel so that formulas could be used.  It seems odd that the business office would send a word document to be used for budget requisitions. 

I stayed after school for two hours working.  I got poster paper ready for my students to use for a project tomorrow.  I was finally just so tired that I decided I needed to head home.  I got home around 6:45 and had a bowl of cereal and blueberry muffin for dinner.  I’m drinking a sprite zero and planning to go to bed early.  I don’t think I’ll need the ambien tonight.  I just feel tired. 

I asked Matthew via text yesterday if he was interested in getting together this week.  His response was that it would depend on what work he got done today.  I felt a little slighted, but I know that it’s a busy time wrapping up last year’s budget and getting started on the new budget so I’m trying to be understanding.  I still have a hard time reading him and he’s still not very communicative.  I don’t know if that is something I just have to deal with or if it would improve if/when we date more seriously.  I just don’t know at this point – but will see how it goes for now.  I hope he’s still interested but sometimes it is just hard to tell. 

My roommate has moved back in so I don’t have the house to myself any more.  At least she can take care of the animals for me when I need it and it’s nice to have some extra income.

Well, that’s all the excitement here.  Just work, work, and more work.  I need to work on grad school stuff, but I’m just feeling tired.  I’ll check in on some postings but will probably work more this weekend.