Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Feeling blah

I'm still in a slump. Still trying to figure out which bills to pay and which ones to put on hold. Hoping to receive my tax refund, but not in the mail today. Searching for jobs daily. I wonder if I have the right to be particular about taking on a part time job. Yes, I need the money desperately, but do I take a position someplace I would hate working just because they're hiring? Or do I hold out in the hopes that something that I would find more interesting rather than repulsive will appear out of nowhere?
When I visited one of my schools today I got a reminder of why I don't want to go into teaching. My adviser told me about a phone call from a parent that chewed her butt up and down because she sent a yearbook payment reminder to a student. It's bad enough having to deal with kids that are constant discipline problems, taking on those extra duties required by teachers, working under an administration that doesn't back up their teachers because they're afraid of lawsuits, but then you also have horrible parents that complain about everything. Teachers simply aren't paid enough for the crap they have to deal with. (even though it's quite a bit more than I currently make) They should provide free mental health care to all teachers to compensate for the pitiful pay and hope that it will help deal with the frustrations. We used to joke about needing a prozac salt lick in the teacher's lounge just to get us through the day sometimes.
I know I'm bitching. Sometimes teaching wasn't all that bad and once in a while it was rewarding. It's just when you're in a job where people constantly thank you for helping them, they think you're a genius, and you have a very flexible schedule, it's hard to ponder the possibility of going back into a field where you're not appreciated or supported.
I'm supposed to go to aerobics class tonight. I don't want to. But I think I'm going to make myself go. If anything I need to release the stress and not think about life at the moment.

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