Sunday, March 13, 2005

Making a little progress

Well, I started a major project in my office. Filing. I've got so much crap to go through though. I'm really not sure what is crucial to keep and what I'm just holding on to because I can't bear to toss it - because as soon as I do, I'll need that one piece of paper. But I'm getting somewhere. I've filed bills, printed out labels, gotten a little organized, but it's still a complete mess. But I'm thinking that if I can get all the paper under control I might stand a chance at having a nice clean office for a while. I can dream can't I?
I haven't heard from Marty in over a week. I'm getting a little peeved. I know it's a big deal for him to have to go to town to call me, but last time he called me from a pay phone with a calling card while still on campus. So in my eyes, there's no excuse to not call. Especially on a weekend. So, yes, my feelings are hurt.
Yeah, yeah... go ahead and say it. You made your bed, so lie in it. I know I chose to be with Marty. I chose a man in the military that will be gone for the next 5 1/2 years. I chose a man that is well... a man. A typical male that doesn't seem to think about the effect he has on me. A man that doesn't realize how important it is to phone your girlfriend. And I've chosen to perpetuate this long-distance relationship. I couldn't help it. I didn't mean to fall in love with him. I didn't want to. But it happened and I'm stuck. O.k. yes, I know I have choices, but I still want to keep him, though sometimes I question why. But I know that's just because I question absolutely everything in my life. That's why I'm trying to not be too rash. He just better call me soon, darn it. (still trying to keep the language clean)
Now I'm debating whether to keep going at these files or head to bed. I'm feeling exhausted, but I'm afraid if I stop, I won't finish it tomorrow. But I'm thinking the bed is going to win tonight.

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