Monday, March 07, 2005

Out of Focus

That's how I feel lately. I can't seem to get a grip on things and focus on anything. I wanted to read a book tonight and I barely made it past two pages. The t.v. is blaring and yet I'm not really paying attention. Reading blogs is good because I only have to focus a short time.
I'm not sure what my next step should be. I really want to curl up in a ball under the covers and dream everything away. I want to stop worrying so damn much. You know, I KNOW that things will work themselves out and I'll survive. But it's one thing to know that and another to actually live and deal with it.

I still haven't heard from Marty. I'm disappointed, but trying to be understanding. I just wish he knew how much his phone calls mean to me right now. I tell him, but I'm not sure it sinks in. He is a man after all.

On a happier note, I went to Josh's back to school night. All of his teachers that I spoke to mentioned how bright he was. His band director said that he is really taking the lead in the clarinet section and he's having a hard time actually challenging him. I think that's awesome.

I've really got to find a way to de-stress. I know it's not good for me. But I don't know what else to do. Where's a good rollercoaster when you need one?

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