Monday, October 29, 2007

The Five Year Plan

It seems that I tend to do things in five year increments. My first teaching job lasted five years. My marriage was five years. My yearbook job was a bit of an exception as I was in it for 6 years. Now that I've returned to teaching, I think it's another five year plan. If all goes well, I could be out again in five years and going into the librarian thing. At least I hope so, I think. Today I kept thinking that I really need to get out of teaching.

I'm still having issues with the student in my debate class. Last week he made a point to say something to another student about respect making sure I was certainly within earshot, and yet he has been one of the most disrespectful students I've ever encountered. He often mutters things under his breath and at the tournament this weekend, he told one of his fellow teammates off believing something that students from another school had said that she said. Regardless of whether she had said something wrong, the better thing would have been to ask her about it rather than assuming the worst and going off on her. Problem is that I didn't witness it and now I really can't do anything about it. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells with this student.

I just have no idea what to do with my life. I think the library would be better. At least I hope so. I have to do something. I'm ready to make a change... again. Maybe it's just the restless thing again. I don't know.

I enjoyed talking to Andrew last night. We spent about an hour on the phone. It's nice to have someone to talk to.

I don't know why I even bother bringing home papers to grade. All they do is ride in my bag, sit on the chair until I put them back in the car the next morning. I don't know if it's just a block, but I can't grade papers at home. I'll try to get to school early tomorrow and get them graded.

Tomorrow I think we're going to dinner with my dad. He's in town so it will be nice to not have to cook. I also have to go to a choir rehearsal tomorrow night. Tonight I made a pork roast thing with some loaded mashed potatoes. It was good, but a little too much seasoning.

I just watched "Chuck". Now, I'm watching Heroes. I guess I'm getting into it a bit. I'm still lost, but it is kind of interesting.


mapiprincesa! said...

There is nothing more discouraging than students who have not learned the meaning of respect and who have somehow learned that all is to be given them, and on a proverbial silver platter. I am sorry you must go through these trials; God knows that educators are in the profession for the love of teaching, the belief in doing and teaching good and, in our different ways, making the world a slightly better place through influence and example.

I left the university last year after almost 10 years teaching at that level due, in great part, to anonymous student email threats, being called a b***h in class as I would not cancel one that other professors had reportedly cancelled prior to Thanksgiving, and I found myself having to make decisions: How much longer could I live under the stress, with two very young children at home, wondering if I needed a police escort back to my car at 10:00 p.m following my last class? In the wake of the VT shootings later that school year, I knew to wonder what could happen if I had said the wrong thing on a day that someone had not taken their medication.

God has a way of, as my father used to say before he died, hitting us over the head with a 2x4 when He wants us to figure things out. Frm the short time I have been reading your blog, it appears you have learned to hear His voice and respect His workings in your life, making changes when appropriate.

Peace be with you.

Andrew said...

I so enjoyed talking to you. I want you to know that. You are a special person and someone I hold dear to my heart. I hope you had a good day and I am thinking of you!