This is Surprising

You Were Nice This Year!

You're an uber-perfect person who is on the top of Santa's list. You probably didn't even *think* any naughty thoughts this year. Unless you're a Mormon, you've probably been a little too good. Is that extra candy cane worth being a sweetheart for 365 days straight?

Were You Naughty or Nice This Year?

Survived Christmas

Christmas is finally over. It's a great time of year, but always very tiring it seems. Left on Thursday to drive to Albuquerque. Weather was bad. Had some major ice on the highway off and on until Cline's Corners. There were idiot drivers speeding around me on the ice. Was amazed they didn't spin off the road. Did see a few accidents.
Went to the baptism on Christmas Eve. Josh and I played our duet. Didn't do too bad on it and got several compliments afterwards. Also did part of reading in the baptism. Was very nice.
I decided that since I couldn't bring Josh's keyboard in without him knowing that he got it, I wrapped his adapter to it instead and then left clues for him to find it. I guess I stumped him a little, but he figured it out finally.
Went to my sister's Christmas morning. She made breakfast for everyone. We opened gifts there and then headed back to my aunt's for lunch. Traditional turkey dinner with all the trimmings. Very yummy.
What did I get you ask? I got the motor for my heater from my brother, first season of Monk from Patrick, a laser level from my aunt, flannel pajamas that my sister made, a basket of bath items from my cousin, and a gift certificate to Hastings books from Kirsten. Not a bad haul. Still don't know what Marty got me, but am simply anxious to see him. Another day and a half!!
Made it home today and am relieved to be back. Can't wait to sleep in my own bed. Slept on the couches at my aunt's house since it would have been cold in my dad's RV.
Now I'm sitting here watching Mary Poppins, having a rum and coke. I always enjoy watching Mary Poppins. It always puts a smile on my face.
Tomorrow, I have to get up early and take my cousin to the airport. I'm also supposed to have lunch with my friend Cristal. Then I've got to get some yearbook stuff done. Got to tidy up the house a bit. Will be a long day, but will at least keep me busy so I won't be waiting too impatiently for Marty. O.k. I know I'm obsessing. But it's been two months now. But I'll shut up now.

Do I dare?

Oh, you triple dog dare me, eh? O.k. I'll say it. I think my heater is fixed. My wonderful brother has earned sainthood in my book. He got the motor, installed it and it's running. I'll report back later and see if the temp in the house indeed goes up, but so far it looks good.
AND on top of that, he didn't ask me to pay him back. He told me that's my Christmas present. Wooooo Hooooo! Happy, happy, joy, joy!
So now that I've said that, I wonder what's going to fall apart now?

Josh and I have actually practiced. And I can still play my licorice stick. (For those of you not familiar with the term, that would be a clarinet) We're adding another song to the mix in order to have about 2 1/2 minutes worth of music.

I still have yet to finish the other albums, but will start on that shortly. Worse case, I can finish them in Albuquerque.

Things are looking up so I'm sure something else has to come crashing down, right? I know, I hate the pessimistic attitude too, but Murphy's Law seems to be prevalent these days.

But in any case... Merry Christmas everybody!!! I may not be blogging for a few days as I probably won't have much internet access in ABQ.

Go Figure...

O.k. I'm still not done bitching about the heater. Have left it off all day as it has indicated it just doesn't want to work. My brother called at 5:40 telling me what to do to try to get it going (and no, a new belt probably isn't the issue) and I've already tried doing that. Then, he tells me to help it along when it starts to spin, but be careful not to get my fingers in the way lest it should tear it off or something. Though I'm not comfortable with that option I figure I'll give it a whirl. What's the loss of an extra finger when it comes to heat? So I turn it on and now it starts to spin faster than before which gives me hope (and too fast for me to help it), but alas it still won't get going. So I call him back and he says, "Yup, it's the motor". This is at a time when everything is closing down and I can't get a new one until the morning. Given that the temperature is going to plummet to about 8 degrees tonight, I'm not happy with that option. But wait! There's hope on the horizon. I call the plumbing supply place and ask them when they're closing today. He said "5:30" and I said o.k. But then he said "what did you need?" and I tell him that I need a blower motor that I had called about earlier. He asked how long it would be and I said my brother was about 15 minutes away. He finally said to go ahead and send him. So I did. And wouldn't you know it? The stupid thing started spinning. (I didn't dare call Tim back lest I jinx things once more)
I guess that's my Christmas present to myself. $87 plus tax. I wanted to have some extra money while Marty was here. Oh well. Guess we'll live as paupers for a few days.
And on top of all that, my bank called to inform me that Richard is again late with his bike payment. Called him and said he sent it yesterday. Whatever. I asked him again about refinancing and he said he's still planning to do that when he can. i.e. Never. I knew that damn bike would be a pain in the ass. It's going to haunt me and screw my credit for the next 3 1/2 years.
O.k. I guess I need to say something positive. I finished my brother and sister's photo albums. Only 4 more to go! My house is still clean. That's it. I'm fresh out of anything else at the moment.

And now it's cooling down...

Once again, quite literally. I knew it was too good to be true. I got too hopeful last night. Kind of like Patrick talking about having a girlfriend, I guess. (Sorry Patrick, thought the analogy was funny) I'm sure Patrick's situation has much more potential than my heating issues. Went to bed around 10:30 with it quite comfortable in the house. Woke up at 2:30 hearing Josh laughing in the living room. (It's Christmas break so he doesn't have to be in bed by 11) Heard the heater blower motor try to start many, many times, but it just wouldn't. I couldn't go back to sleep. So around 4 a.m. I got up and started searching furnace heater motor blowers. Did you know that they're hard to come by? And when you find what you think is it, you're not sure because you know absoultely nothing about them. Tim had me write down all sorts of information so I would be sure to know what I was looking for... 1/4 horsepower, 115 volts, 5.3 amps, 1725 RPM, A 48 frame and 1/2 inch motor shaft... what more could you ask for you say??? Well, how about whether it's a split phase start, or a capacitor start, or a three phase...
And then there's the mounting. Could be solid, rigid or footed or maybe it's resiliant or perhaps even a face or flange. And of course you can't forget about it's closure... is it open air over or open air proof? Or it could be one of the Haz-TENV, ODP, TEFC, or TEAO.
Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhh!
Tim mentioned last night that the belt was loose. I'm kind of thinking perhaps I can get by with just buying a new belt. As soon as I think that, I'm certain I will need to go ahead and shell out the bucks for the motor too.
I've called my brother, but he hasn't called me back and probably won't until around 5 p.m. I'm not sure what to do in the meantime. Do I go get the belt and play handywoman? Do I go ahead and try to find a motor locally? If I find one, do I get it? When I got up this morning, the temp in the house was 56. My room was nice and toasty as I left my portable heater going. But honestly, this is getting totally rediculous.
If there happens to be any millionaires or billionaires with a few thousand extra bucks lying around and want to donate to the Heat Annabel's House Cause, drop me a line would ya? Thanks.

Things are heating up

O.k. I mean that literally. Got the heater working finally. My brother was a godsend and actually called me back and came down here to look at my heater. Thought it was going to be bad because he was mentioning a new heater motor blower thing and stuff like that. But what he ended up doing was tightning the belt that was squealing, oiled the motor parts, and replaced the filter that was so disgusting I'm probably going to have nightmares about it. It probably hasn't been changed since sometime before mom was diagnosed with cancer if that tells you anything. So, it still isn't a great heater, but it's at least trying. Just checked the thermostat and it's reading about 72 now. Yipppeeeee!
I have been working on photo albums all day. Got my brother's done. Still need to do my sisters and my nephews. I made a photo frame thing for my cousin. After all that is done, I'll be finished with my Christmas stuff.
Josh and I still need to practice. I hope I have some decent reeds. I haven't picked up my clarinet in over a year since mom's memorial service last November. Guess I need to see if I can still play.
I've still successfully avoided doing any kind of yearbook work as well. I really need to do some of that, but perhaps when I'm in Albuquerque.
I am sooooooo ready for Marty to be here. This is the longest we've had to go so far in seeing each other since July. I know I have to get used to it because he'll be gone a full year. But I don't have to like it.

Freezing My A** Off

Sitting here in the house at 58 degrees. Lovely. Heater has been making a squealing kind of noise that gets annoying at times, but at least it means it's trying to work. My brilliant cousin decided last night to turn the heater off. Now it won't come back on. I've got all my electric heaters going and two logs in the fireplace (I'm hoping I don't catch the house on fire).
Told my dad about the squealing this weekend. He was too busy to come check it out. My brother is too busy with work. Since I broke up with all my boyfriends to be with Marty, I don't have any other guys to come help out. Maybe Matt since he wasn't ever a boyfriend, but not sure he would know what to do.
I hate being cold. If I had any money, I'd call a plumber.

What have I done?

This journal is because of Diana’s blog. Please do check it out as she has a lot of wonderful thoughts and ponderings just as I have had this year. She posed the following question because of John Lennon's song So This is Christmas.

What have I done this past year?

By month:

January
Started talking to Marty (or Martin as I used to know him) when he found me via classmates.com.
Found my dad an RV so he could move out of his house (so I could plan to move in)
Introduced my dad to Carol Ann when he said he was ready to start dating after my mom passed away.
Filed for divorce, finally.

February
Went to Michigan for a blind date of sorts. Met Steve from E-Harmony and had a nice time. Sprained my ankle on the trip.
Marty came to visit me for the first time at the end of the month. He was here for two weeks.

March
Performed in the Vagina Monologues.
Moved into my parents house over spring break. Painted, updated, cleaned etc. before moving in. Has been a continuous process.
Lost the other house to foreclosure (due to divorce).

April
Got divorced! Wooooo Hoooooo!
Changed my last name back to my maiden name and reclaimed my identity.
Met Patrick (I think) this month.

May
All my yearbooks delivered on time without major hassels. Finished the year.
Went to Branson for family reunion Memorial weekend.

June
Went to Chicago with my dad so he could show us where my parents grew up.
Met Steve at Six Flags Great Adventure. Lost my favorite pair of sunglasses.
Went on annual rollercoaster trip with Josh. (See post to get details)
Rode my 100th coaster at Cedar Point. (Top Thrill Dragster)

July
Marty came back beginning of this month and stayed about a week. We went to his parents for a brief visit and to Fiesta Texas. He rode the coasters with me despite his fear. I fell for him. I had to break things off with 3 other guys to be with him. I think he’s worth it.
Went to Jostens meeting in Dallas.

August
Went to stay with Marty while he was at his parents’ house. Got to meet his girls. Said “I love you” for the first time there.
Started work on another school year.

September
Marty came here for a week to go to his family reunion. I went with him. He was surprised and amazed that I did. And it wasn’t bad at all. Think I made a fairly good impression on his family.
Won a new elementary yearbook.

October
Went to visit Marty in Connecticut. Was surprised by several things. Gave me a bit to ponder in our relationship, but still holding on to it.
Upgraded two of my schools to all color books.

November
Had mine & Josh’s birthday. Uneventful for me. Took Josh and his friends to the movies. Still disconcerted by the fact that Marty didn’t send a card or flowers or anything. Hopefully have made my point about that.
Was the one year anniversary of my mother’s passing. I made a photo collage of pictures of her throughout the years and printed one for each of my siblings and dad.
Went to Albuquerque for Thanksgiving.
Won a new yearbook account.
Got almost all of my schools renewed for 2006.

December
Survived getting renewals, covers finshed, schools visited and general yearbook mayhem. Spent almost all of my bonus on everyone except myself for Christmas. (Though I did buy myself 3 books from Amazon)
Probably won another yearbook account, just need to figure which program to place them in.
Cleaned out my garage so I can park my car in it.

To finish out the year…
Going to pull my clarinet out and play a duet with Josh at my cousin’s Christening.
Going to Albuquerque for Christmas.
Going to wait patiently for Marty to get here on the 28th.
Going to have a New Year’s party WITH Marty here.
Will probably NOT make any resolutions since I always seem to break them.

In general:
Had sex with too many people that I shouldn’t have and regret most of it. (no, Patrick, you’re not a regret) I justified myself at the time saying I needed to sow some wild oats, but I think it was mostly to prove to myself that I was desirable, sexy, and wanted by men since my husband didn’t want me. At least perhaps that’s what it was.

Found some of my lost self-esteem. It seems to have come and gone quite a bit in the last several years. But at this point, I’ve learned to love myself, mostly. I think I’m a pretty darn good catch. And I’m sexy as heck. (Yeah, trying to clean up the language too.)

Started considering a place for God in my life again. Have been exploring the possibility of becoming Catholic. Still not there yet, but at least I’m open to possibilities for the first time in about 13 years.

Lost 25 lbs. And 2 dress sizes. Gradually got my hair cut short.

Learned that it’s o.k. to be alone. Sometimes it’s even great.

Realize that I deserve to be loved.

Come and play....

I've seen this on a few blogs and decided to borrow it. If you're just visiting, go ahead and play. If you don't want to ask any questions that's o.k. I've seen a bit of traffic to my site, but I really only know about 6 regular readers. If you read my blog at all... just leave me a note that says "hi".
Thanks for playing!!

1) First recommend to me:
A) a movie
B) a book
C) a musical artist/album/song

2) Ask me any three questions you want, anything at all.

3) Go to your blog (if you have one), copy and paste this and allow everyone to ask you anything.

All wrapped up

I've been wrapping presents for a couple of hours now. It's exhausting. I still have a handful that I need to do, but going to have to take a break for a bit. Got Marty's big one wrapped. Josh's big present has been sent to New Mexico (since that's where we're going for Christmas) and it will have just a bow on it.
I still have the ones with photos to create and sort through, but I've got to get the office cleaned and cleared a bit so I'll have a place to work. It's on the agenda.
I got Pete's letters typed and the editor can do some more posting. I still have some yearbook work to do, but it's just going to have to go on hold for now.
Traded gifts with Patrick today. I LOVED my gift. He got me the first season of Monk. I hope he liked his stuff. I got him a classical romance CD to use with his new girlfriend and something else that I can't mention here as it is related to something else regarding Marty. Soooo... I hope he really did like it.
Only 11 more days til Marty is here!!

No Work Today!!!

O.k. I do have to do some work today, but I don't have to DRIVE anywhere today. I still have some art to create for a school and pages to convert to pdf files for another and then I have to get those darn covers submitted... but AFTER all that I'm FREEEEEEE... o.k. free until Monday. Thought I would officially have my vacation today, but, alas, I have two more schools to visit on Monday and then I'm done for the year. Well, at least 2004.
Oh!!!! More wonderful news. I may have just gotten another new school. Got a call from a yearbook parent yesterday wanting me to order a kit. I wasn't able to reach her again yesterday to get the information, but will definitely make contact today!! Mmmmm... wondering again why my bonus was less this year. Won (probably) 3 new schools and upgraded 2 others to full color books and all my advisers are really happy with me this year (knock on wood). O.k. lost one elementary because they didn't like our pricing (which is weird because I think our elementary books are cheaper than other companies) and 2 schools that simply chose not to do a book period. Not something I did to lose them. And I'm visiting 2 of my boss' schools this year so he doesn't have to. I guess it's still because of the ring and trip to San Antonio. It's just still dissappointing since I wanted to pay off some extra bills.
Why is it on days that you don't HAVE to get up early, one wakes up at 6 am? Every other day this week that I had to leave by 7:45 or 8 I slept until the last minute and was still tired, but today I'm awake at 6? I didn't get up at six, however. I forced myself to stay in bed and did go back to sleep. That is until Josh woke me up for a ride to school. And then stupid me realizes that I forgot to park the car in the garage last night. My lovely garage that keeps me from having to scrape windows in the morning. Oh well.
Today I have to do some yearbook work, wait for Marty's present(s) to arrive via Fedex, exchange gifts with Patrick, and wrap presents. Sounds like another full day of work, but at least I'm staying home!

Texas Twang

O.k. I admit it. I have that little bit of Texas twang when I speak. I fought it for a while, given that I was a speech major, but it's still there and it leaps out from time to time. And it's one of those things that Marty loves about me. I love that.
I was talking with him on the phone tonight and said something to the effect that he might be reconsidering marrying me since I've been a bit difficult. He said that he hasn't yet. He said that there have been times he might have be concerned, but that when he hears my Texas twang it melts him. And that melted me. Sometimes it's just the little things.

Is it Friday yet????

I am soooooooo overworked and underpaid right now. Underpaid since my bonus this year was half of what it was last year and that makes my total income less this year than last. If I were teaching I'd be making a few thousand more than I am now. But I'm sure I'd be stressed and unhappy. This job is less stressful and gives me more freedom, but the money, honestly is a bit sucky at this point. Given the rising cost of gas, the cost of mainting my car that has almost 200,000 miles on it and putting on an addtional 35,000 miles a year.
I'm quite overworked at the moment too. I don't know what it is with my schedule this year, but it seems I'm traveling every day all day long. Last year I could have an office day every couple of weeks or at least a morning or afternoon off every once in a while. I have so much to do and I'm completely putting it off. I've promised to create some things in photoshop for two of my schools and I have to convert 64 pages of pagemaker files to pdfs for another. On top of that, tomorrow I have to visit 6 schools in one day. On Thursday is another 4. Friday may or not be one school. After that, I've got to stop thinking about yearbooks for the next two weeks. I'm just so sick of it at this point. Perhaps I should have sent in the resume for the graphic artist job. Less pay, but no travel and the opportunity for health issurance is quite appealing at this point.
I still have way too many Christmas presents to wrap because I was completely unselfish this year. O.k. I'm unselfish every year. Comes with being a mom and female I guess.
Josh and I still need to practice our duet for my cousin's Christening on Christmas eve.
I have a million photos to put into photo albums for Christmas. Does it ever end?
On a happier note, I did catch up on laundry and dishes and the house is clean. AND I can park my car in the garage. Happy, happy, joy, joy. First time a car has been parked in this garage in about 25 years I think. It's been quite lovely the last two days.
I'm so completely exhausted right now I don't know what to do with myself. I'm comitting myself to being in bed by 10:30 tonight given that I have to be in Dumas by 9 a.m. tomorrow.
Oh... and I've decided to take on another challenge. I'm helping Prison Pete's editor type some of Pete's letters. He's been stressed too and hasn't been able to keep up with the blog. As a loyal reader I offered to help. And I don't mind and have found it interesting. Had trouble deciphering a few words, but the first letter seemed to go well.
And I'm tired of writing now, so will post this and make plans for bed.

Much Needed Ego Boost

Taken verbatim from Patrick's blog. I'm going to try to return the compliment despite my inferior writing skills.

"A friendly ego boost for Annabel
No, I haven't forgotten about that ego-boost meme I posted a couple weeks back, I've just been really, really busy.Internet dating ain't always what it's cut out to be. You can just ask me about all the bad things that have happened in my life because of internet dating. Believe me when I tell you that they considerably outweigh the good things.Annabel's one of the good things, though. She responded to one of my singles ads many moons ago, and thought I was interesting. Said she found my profile intriguing, and that she'd like to get to know me better. I found myself wanting to get to know her, as well, since I could tell from her profile that she was pretty, smart, and reasonably well read (Annabel is just a name she uses to protect her privacy; she took it from Edgar Allan Poe's poem "Annabel Lee"). She had sexy long, dark hair and a fetching smile. I was glad to have to chance to find out that she was (and presumably still is) a very good kisser.She's been a good friend through good times and bad, and it was worth the heartache of not being the one she wanted/needed to be with to be able to count on that friendship. She's a good mom, dedicated to and protective of her son, and ferociously proud of his accomplishments and talents.She's adventurous, too, and not just because she dated me (although sometimes I think you have to be pretty adventurous to go out with me). She's one of those brave souls who takes on rollercoasters, the more dips and loops the better. I admire her courage, and wish that she'd believe me when I tell her that I would have ridden the coasters with her. They're not my thing at all, really, but they're hers, and if we'd managed to make it as a couple I would have ridden them just because they're important to her.She's a pretty nifty lady; I'm looking forward to being her friend for a while to come."

It's Official

Marty finally got his orders today. He's definitely going to Alaska. Port Clarence. Middle of absolute nowhere. But it's really the best deal he could get at this point and at least it's not the Middle East. It's only for a year. Actually it could only be 11 months since he has to take a month of leave at the end. But even if it is a full year, when he gets out, he'll be a priority one and that means he'll hopefully get his choice of locations that will be available. And he'll have a month off.
Yes, I know this will be tough. But I figure if we can survive it, then we can make it through just about anything. I hate that I won't get to talk to him every day. I hate that he'll be away from his girls. I am absolutely pleased that he'll be away from the ex, however. Don't get me wrong. She was nice to me and all that, but he's still a bit too close for comfort. He knows this, and we do need to talk about the issue, but I can say it will be the biggest relief to have him away from her.
Hopefully this comes a relief to him and some of his stress will be alleviated. Now it's a matter of figuring out when he's going to California for training. Mmmmm, I would hate to have to go out there to visit him. Really, I would.

Another Sunday

There's so much I need to be doing today. And what am I doing? Watching TLC and reading blogs. I did start some laundry and load the dishwasher though. Only about 7 more loads of laundry to go. And I need to clean the house. And I need to wrap presents. And I need to go get milk. The garage is also still a mess. Still set up for the garage sale I didn't have last month. Today is a nice day and I should do the garage. I guess I should just pack everything away again and wait for the spring.
Marty will be here in 16 days. I've decided to let go of my worries for the moment and perhaps when he gets here we can have a heart to heart, much to his chagrin.
My cousin that lives with me is driving me nuts. He's 18, a senior in high school, and a few french fries short of a happy meal. He means well, but he's a bit slow in a lot of things and though he tries hard, he tends to mess more things up than fix them. He recently totaled his car. He fell asleep at the wheel and ran into a parked car on the side of the road. He's had his license a month. Now he's obsessing about it. He's going on and on about another car when he has absolutely no money. He's making a big deal about being sore. Luckily he was wearing his seatbelt, but he suffered some pain in the ribs from it holding him back. And he moans loudly throughout the house and won't shut up about the damn car.
I've just about finished the Christmas shopping. My bonus was half of what it was last year. That made things a little more difficult, but I still got a little something for everybody. I was hoping to be a little selfish and get something for myself, but I suppose it's better to give than to be selfish.

Here's my new haircut.  

Oooooh look! Flowers. I wonder where they could have come from.  

And here's the fireplace. Stockings in the center are family and the sides are the pets.  

Here's my tree. If you'll notice I have a music ornament theme going on. 

Confessions of a Drama Queen

I never thought of myself as a drama queen. But when it comes to relationships I guess I am. I can't be in a relationship without some kind of drama. I can't just be satifisfied that every thing is o.k. I seem to have to question everything. I can't just sit back and relax and know that everything is alright. Because I guess I never know that. I tend to think that I know what my partner is thinking and feeling. Sometimes I'm right. And sometimes I'm not. I'm not sure how I elected myself this power. I guess it came from several bouts of mind reading. But it also comes from my intuition which seems to be right more often than not. Or perhaps it's right after I've done my best to screw the relationship up. I am in constant need of assurance it seems. I need to know that everything is o.k. and that I still mean the world to my partner. I wonder why that is. I guess it could be the lack of affection in growing up. My family was never the touchy-feely type. Love was to be understood and not expressly shown. I understood love as simply taking care of others. Now in my relationships (outside of family) I want and need the touchy-feeliness. I need the constant assurance that I am loved. Despite my antics and fears.
Maybe it's just a girl thing.

Making another change

Did something today. Not only did I load the dishwasher, I made a change in my appearance. I got my hair cut again. This time going a little shorter overall. The length is still about the same, but I have much shorter layers. I think it's pretty cute, though I have yet to style it. I know that a lot of guys have preferred my long hair, but honestly, it's a pain in the ass to deal with. I'm liking the shorter styles I've been sporting lately. I'd love to go short all over, but until I lose about 50 more pounds, it's not going to happen.
That's it. That's the exciting news. Nothing new to report. My life is dull. I guess that's not bad. Work has been busy which sucks. I'm ready for Christmas break. I have nothing to write about. Blah, blah, blah. Somebody give me a topic, would ya?

On chatting...

I don’t mind chatting from time to time. I enjoy chatting with my friends and once in a while with strangers, but I have a few rules I tend to follow. I even posted them as a link on my profile. But it seems that people only glance at your profile, maybe see your pic and go from there. Here’s the links to my profile and the No Chat site as well.

I thought I would share with you some of the types of conversations I end up with online from time to when I do decide to respond to someone’s hello. Am sure you’ll find it as stimulating as I did… NOT.
My personal comments about the conversation will appear in italics afterwards.

annabel_lee_tx (8:00:58 PM): hi
adilberrare (8:01:22 PM): how are you
annabel_lee_tx (8:01:28 PM): fine
adilberrare (8:01:53 PM): may i see u
adilberrare (8:02:10 PM): wow
adilberrare (8:02:18 PM): you are pretty
annabel_lee_tx (8:02:21 PM): thanks
adilberrare (8:02:28 PM):
adilberrare (8:02:38 PM): happy to meet you
annabel_lee_tx (8:04:01 PM): yes?
adilberrare (8:04:15 PM): you want talk to me ?
annabel_lee_tx (8:04:24 PM): depends on what you want to talk about
adilberrare (8:04:40 PM): we may be freinds
annabel_lee_tx (8:05:01 PM): ok
adilberrare (8:05:28 PM): so you have a subject
annabel_lee_tx (8:05:53 PM): I asked you what you wanted to talk about
adilberrare (8:06:09 PM): all what you want
annabel_lee_tx (8:06:39 PM): so pick a topic then
adilberrare (8:06:51 PM): love
annabel_lee_tx (8:07:01 PM): what about it?
adilberrare (8:07:13 PM): its a greet feeling
adilberrare (8:07:23 PM): are you in love
annabel_lee_tx (8:07:44 PM): yes
adilberrare (8:07:54 PM): what about sexe
annabel_lee_tx (8:08:02 PM): what about it?
adilberrare (8:08:11 PM): do you like it
annabel_lee_tx (8:08:22 PM): none of your business
adilberrare (8:08:33 PM): wemay do it
annabel_lee_tx (8:08:42 PM): not likely
adilberrare (8:08:49 PM): why not
annabel_lee_tx (8:09:18 PM): a. I'm involved b. I don't know you
c. I'm not interested
adilberrare (8:09:30 PM): justtry
adilberrare (8:09:56 PM): let me see you on cam
annabel_lee_tx (8:10:07 PM): I don't have a cam
adilberrare (8:10:15 PM): you have acam
adilberrare (8:10:19 PM): let me see you
annabel_lee_tx (8:11:12 PM): conversation is over... buzzing is rude

The “BUZZ” doesn’t show in the conversation, but that did it for me… that and the obsession with seeing me on cam. If I say I don’t have a cam… I either really don’t, or I don’t want it on. Get the picture? Oh, I guess not.

canyonrock343 (7:54:59 PM): Hello Annabel
coaster_lover_tx (7:55:29 PM): hello
canyonrock343 (7:55:38 PM): How are you this evening?
coaster_lover_tx (7:55:47 PM): fine
canyonrock343 (7:56:09 PM): I have im'd you several time but this is the first time you have replied.
canyonrock343 (7:56:17 PM): Are you single
coaster_lover_tx (7:56:31 PM): no, I'm not
canyonrock343 (7:56:41 PM): ahhh..bf or married?
coaster_lover_tx (7:56:56 PM): does it matter?
canyonrock343 (7:57:13 PM): If you are going to be that way...no it does not matter.
canyonrock343 (7:57:19 PM): Take care.

Oh darn. Guess he’s not going to talk to me any more. It turns out that I did talk to this guy once before. If I had remembered, I probably wouldn’t have responded. You’ll see his name again later.

annabel_lee_tx (10:32:34 PM): hi
mikejetskiio69 (10:32:57 PM): i hope you dont mind me saying you are very cute
annabel_lee_tx (10:33:09 PM): you can say... am told that all the time
mikejetskiio69 (10:33:33 PM): i really liked the pink pj pics
annabel_lee_tx (10:34:05 PM): have heard that one too
mikejetskiio69 (10:34:41 PM): wow i am not that originsl
mikejetskiio69 (10:34:50 PM): original
annabel_lee_tx (10:37:06 PM): nope
mikejetskiio69 (10:38:17 PM): you got more pics?
annabel_lee_tx (10:38:31 PM): no

I get comments about my pictures ALL the time. I put them on my profile to be noticed, yes, but it really does get old after a while.

annabel_lee_tx (11:29:12 PM): hello
big_b0ie_04 (11:29:28 PM): hi how ya doing
annabel_lee_tx (11:29:55 PM): fine
big_b0ie_04 (11:30:28 PM): im new to yahoo so id thought i would search for sum new friends to chat with
annabel_lee_tx (11:30:33 PM): ok
big_b0ie_04 (11:31:09 PM): so where ya from?
annabel_lee_tx (11:31:31 PM): tx
big_b0ie_04 (11:31:48 PM): oh cool im in miami fl
annabel_lee_tx (11:33:46 PM): what do you do there?
big_b0ie_04 (11:34:20 PM): im a fittness instructor and i sell and install fittness equipment
annabel_lee_tx (11:34:42 PM): ic
big_b0ie_04 (11:34:54 PM): yep
big_b0ie_04 (11:34:59 PM): what do u do
annabel_lee_tx (11:35:17 PM): sell yearbooks
big_b0ie_04 (11:35:26 PM): ic
big_b0ie_04 (11:36:05 PM): what do u do for fun?
annabel_lee_tx (11:36:23 PM): ride rollercoasters
big_b0ie_04 (11:36:53 PM): that sounds like fun wish there was some around here to go on
big_b0ie_04 (11:39:38 PM): you single?
annabel_lee_tx (11:40:30 PM): no
big_b0ie_04 (11:40:39 PM): o i c

Hmmmm, seems that when they find out I’m not single, that’s the end of the conversation. You know, if they actually READ my profile, they would discover that I’ve listed myself as involved in a long-term relationship.


jonnybuilder2003 (7:46:02 PM): hi
annabel_lee_tx (7:46:21 PM): yes?
jonnybuilder2003 (7:46:35 PM): i have seen ur profile...its nice
annabel_lee_tx (7:46:43 PM): thanks

That was the full conversation. Maybe he went back and actually read it and discovered that I wasn’t what he was looking for.


annabel_lee_tx (7:25:35 PM): yes?
cmwylie2002 (7:25:56 PM): just ran across ur profile and thought id say hi
cmwylie2002 (7:26:01 PM): is that ok
annabel_lee_tx (7:26:04 PM): sure
cmwylie2002 (7:26:11 PM): lol ok
cmwylie2002 (7:26:40 PM): so what u up to tonight
annabel_lee_tx (7:26:54 PM): doing some work and cleaning
cmwylie2002 (7:27:16 PM): ahh sounds fun
annabel_lee_tx (7:28:02 PM): not too much, but must be done
cmwylie2002 (7:28:53 PM): yeah i here u
cmwylie2002 (7:33:05 PM): u there
annabel_lee_tx (7:33:10 PM): yes
cmwylie2002 (7:34:00 PM): so u have a pic
annabel_lee_tx (7:35:35 PM): on my profile

You would think that these guys find me by looking at profiles and then they still ask for a pic.

rare_earth2003 (9:06:15 PM): well sheeeiiiiittttt,,,,youre rain!
rare_earth2003 (9:06:25 PM): why didnt you say something
annabel_lee_tx (9:07:08 PM): because you're not on my list
rare_earth2003 (9:07:40 PM): what does that mean?
annabel_lee_tx (9:07:56 PM): I have not added you as a friend because I don't know you well enough
rare_earth2003 (9:08:25 PM): you are raindrop
rare_earth2003 (9:08:51 PM): where have you been
annabel_lee_tx (9:09:05 PM): working mostly
rare_earth2003 (9:25:05 PM): are you raindrop???
annabel_lee_tx (9:25:11 PM): am I what?
rare_earth2003 (9:25:41 PM): raindrop id
rare_earth2003 (9:25:46 PM): are you
annabel_lee_tx (9:25:56 PM): I don't know what you're talking about?
rare_earth2003 (9:26:13 PM): ok, sorry

I can’t stand it when people I don’t even know try to add me as a friend. I don’t mind it coming from people I know from other places (as long as they put in the friend request who they are) and this guy didn’t make any sense

annabel_lee_tx (8:19:35 PM): I'm not a hoe, but I'm fine
bm7620022002 (8:19:45 PM): ooohhhhhh
bm7620022002 (8:19:50 PM): I am so sorry
annabel_lee_tx (8:19:57 PM): no problem
bm7620022002 (8:19:59 PM): typing mistake
annabel_lee_tx (8:20:04 PM): understand
bm7620022002 (8:20:04 PM): sorry sorry
bm7620022002 (8:20:08 PM): how aree u????
annabel_lee_tx (8:20:16 PM): fine
bm7620022002 (8:20:33 PM): i saw ur profile n liked it
bm7620022002 (8:20:43 PM): is that ur pic????
annabel_lee_tx (8:20:49 PM): yes
bm7620022002 (8:20:53 PM): u look beautiful
annabel_lee_tx (8:20:56 PM): thank you
bm7620022002 (8:21:23 PM): do u have any other pics as well
bm7620022002 (8:21:30 PM): I love [hotographs
bm7620022002 (8:21:36 PM): photographs
bm7620022002 (8:21:45 PM): sorry once again
annabel_lee_tx (8:21:47 PM): whatever is on my profile is all I have that I'm willing to share
bm7620022002 (8:22:12 PM): I can see only one ,,,, u have any more??
annabel_lee_tx (8:22:32 PM): on my profile, under "my photos" on the left
bm7620022002 (8:23:47 PM): they are beautiful
annabel_lee_tx (8:23:56 PM): thanks
bm7620022002 (8:24:08 PM): the one in the bed with the white dress is sexyyyy
bm7620022002 (8:24:22 PM): u are good looking
annabel_lee_tx (8:24:34 PM): appreciate it
bm7620022002 (8:24:55 PM): appreciate u or ur dress??
annabel_lee_tx (8:25:08 PM): I appreciate the compliment
bm7620022002 (8:25:18 PM): ohh ok
bm7620022002 (8:25:38 PM): some more compliments too if u donot mind
bm7620022002 (8:25:48 PM):
bm7620022002 (8:26:42 PM): do I ??
annabel_lee_tx (8:26:55 PM): depends on the compliments I guess
bm7620022002 (8:27:15 PM): ok forget it then
bm7620022002 (8:27:43 PM): u look beautiful ofcourse
annabel_lee_tx (8:27:46 PM): ok
bm7620022002 (8:28:09 PM): what are u doin these days??
annabel_lee_tx (8:28:34 PM): mostly work. going to connecticut to see my bf next week
bm7620022002 (8:28:50 PM): ok
bm7620022002 (8:28:54 PM): he/she??
annabel_lee_tx (8:29:09 PM): he of course "boyfriend"
bm7620022002 (8:29:32 PM): ok
bm7620022002 (8:29:41 PM): say hi to him
annabel_lee_tx (8:29:56 PM): o.k. but I don't even know you
bm7620022002 (8:30:10 PM): I am mark from nz
bm7620022002 (8:30:26 PM): and I am 29
annabel_lee_tx (8:32:27 PM): what do you do there?
bm7620022002 (8:32:57 PM): I am an engineer
bm7620022002 (8:33:43 PM): what about u??
annabel_lee_tx (8:33:50 PM): yearbook associate
bm7620022002 (8:34:52 PM): wow thats nice
bm7620022002 (8:46:18 PM): do u have a cam??
annabel_lee_tx (8:46:24 PM): no
bm7620022002 (8:46:24 PM): may I see u??
annabel_lee_tx (8:46:31 PM): I don't have one
bm7620022002 (8:46:36 PM): ok
bm7620022002 (8:46:50 PM): thats fine
bm7620022002 (8:47:03 PM): I gtg
bm7620022002 (8:47:15 PM): will talk some other time
annabel_lee_tx (8:47:21 PM): k
bm7620022002 (8:47:22 PM): take good caree
bm7620022002 (8:47:32 PM): by

Not the brightest lightbulb in the box I guess and once again obsessed with my pics and wanting to see me on cam.


annabel_lee_tx (8:21:43 PM): profile doesn't have a pic... not sure you're cute
f1_boy (8:21:58 PM): llol...i can send one...
f1_boy (8:22:01 PM): where are you from
annabel_lee_tx (8:22:10 PM): do you not read my profile?
f1_boy (8:22:29 PM): texas
annabel_lee_tx (8:22:41 PM): very good
f1_boy (8:23:01 PM): did my pic make it
annabel_lee_tx (8:23:32 PM): yes
f1_boy (8:23:34 PM): so
f1_boy (8:23:36 PM): am in
f1_boy (8:23:39 PM): am i lol
annabel_lee_tx (8:23:54 PM): cuteness isn't really a factor for chatting
f1_boy (8:24:01 PM): i guess....lol
annabel_lee_tx (8:26:57 PM): why did you want to chat with me?
f1_boy (9:00:17 PM): still here
annabel_lee_tx (9:00:29 PM): for a little bit
f1_boy (9:00:51 PM): hey there
f1_boy (9:00:57 PM): just looking for someone to chat wiht
annabel_lee_tx (9:01:10 PM): ok
f1_boy (9:01:56 PM): so are you marreid sing
f1_boy (9:01:59 PM): married single
annabel_lee_tx (9:02:05 PM): attached
f1_boy (9:02:17 PM): how long
annabel_lee_tx (9:02:24 PM): several months
f1_boy (9:03:14 PM): cool....you chat often
annabel_lee_tx (9:03:26 PM): depends
f1_boy (9:03:32 PM): on waht
annabel_lee_tx (9:03:50 PM): the person I'm chatting with. If they're interesting or not.
f1_boy (9:04:04 PM): ok...so what do you find interesting in a person
annabel_lee_tx (9:04:16 PM): a lot of different things
f1_boy (9:04:39 PM): like ...brains.....looks....sense of humor
annabel_lee_tx (9:05:07 PM): brains and sense of humor are good for chatting. looks don't matter so much since I'm not looking for a relationship
f1_boy (9:05:19 PM): i guess so
annabel_lee_tx (9:06:45 PM): do you have brains and a sense of humor?
f1_boy (9:07:07 PM): lol....well i am a network and phone engineer....so i guess that i have brains annabel_lee_tx (9:07:16 PM): ok
annabel_lee_tx (9:07:20 PM): are you a pervert?
f1_boy (9:07:35 PM): lol.........
f1_boy (9:07:40 PM): why do you say that
annabel_lee_tx (9:07:57 PM): because it seems only perverts want to talk to me
f1_boy (9:08:20 PM): lol....really ....that's wiered....no i am not a pervert....
f1_boy (9:08:45 PM): not that I dont lile to lool at women
f1_boy (9:08:47 PM): lol
annabel_lee_tx (9:09:35 PM): are you married?
f1_boy (9:09:46 PM): nope ....not married
annabel_lee_tx (9:09:52 PM): involved?
f1_boy (9:10:28 PM): yea
annabel_lee_tx (9:10:34 PM): happily?
f1_boy (9:11:18 PM): hummmmm
f1_boy (9:11:22 PM): so so
annabel_lee_tx (9:11:33 PM): ok
f1_boy (9:14:43 PM): you
annabel_lee_tx (9:14:48 PM): very happy
f1_boy (9:16:12 PM): cool....
f1_boy (9:16:19 PM): so do you live together
annabel_lee_tx (9:16:33 PM): no. he's in the coast guard and lives in another state right now
f1_boy (9:16:52 PM): i see must be hard
annabel_lee_tx (9:17:06 PM): it is, but am dealing with it
f1_boy (9:17:29 PM): i guess.....any speciall tricks
f1_boy (9:17:30 PM): lo
annabel_lee_tx (9:17:53 PM): not really.
f1_boy (9:18:06 PM): can i ask a question
annabel_lee_tx (9:18:22 PM): you can ask. I don't promise to answer
f1_boy (9:18:38 PM): lol....how long as he been gone
annabel_lee_tx (9:19:07 PM): I saw him about 3 1/2 weeks ago and I'm going to see him in a week and a half.
annabel_lee_tx (9:19:17 PM): right now we've been seeing each other monthly
f1_boy (9:19:28 PM): that is not yo bad
annabel_lee_tx (9:20:11 PM): not so far
f1_boy (9:20:37 PM): yes......at least you get some
f1_boy (9:20:37 PM): lo
f1_boy (9:23:58 PM): still here
annabel_lee_tx (9:24:03 PM): yes
f1_boy (9:24:47 PM): there you are
f1_boy (9:24:53 PM): hey do you have a cam
annabel_lee_tx (9:24:56 PM): no
f1_boy (9:24:59 PM): ok
f1_boy (9:25:00 PM): cool

Not only can he not type, I have the sneaking suspicion that he’s a pervert.


annabel_lee_tx (8:10:26 PM): why do you want to know?
samoledungg (8:10:36 PM): i live in amarillo lol graduated from WT
annabel_lee_tx (8:10:42 PM): ok
samoledungg (8:10:56 PM): i stumbled across your profile and noticed you are from here also
samoledungg (8:11:00 PM): so what do you do for work?
annabel_lee_tx (8:11:13 PM): in the yearbook business
annabel_lee_tx (8:11:16 PM): former teacher
samoledungg (8:11:22 PM): cool
samoledungg (8:11:34 PM): so tell me do you like to play a little naughty on here sometimes?
annabel_lee_tx (8:11:38 PM): nope
samoledungg (8:11:41 PM): k thats cool
samoledungg (8:11:45 PM): i wont bother you anymore then
samoledungg (8:11:46 PM): bye

Geez… at least he didn’t bother me any more… but once again, my profile clearly states I’m not into that kind of stuff.


annabel_lee_tx (8:18:37 PM): fine
warm_n_squishy (8:18:51 PM): great so what is your name
annabel_lee_tx (8:18:57 PM): annabel
warm_n_squishy (8:19:55 PM): ahh that is a sweet name
warm_n_squishy (8:20:01 PM): mine is mike
annabel_lee_tx (8:24:21 PM): how old are you mike?
warm_n_squishy (8:24:45 PM): 27
annabel_lee_tx (8:25:14 PM): your profile says 19
warm_n_squishy (8:25:28 PM): i never give real info on profiles
warm_n_squishy (8:26:41 PM): i take i you are not into web cam picuters
warm_n_squishy (8:26:47 PM): ti is all good
annabel_lee_tx (8:27:01 PM): I guess I don't see the point in it
warm_n_squishy (8:27:23 PM): i just wanted to let you see me better and get an idea of what i look like
annabel_lee_tx (8:28:23 PM): I don't trust web cams generally
warm_n_squishy (8:28:32 PM): that is cool i understand
warm_n_squishy (8:28:39 PM): it is clean i promise
warm_n_squishy (8:28:57 PM): i will send one more time if you dont want it then cool
annabel_lee_tx (8:29:18 PM): what made you want to talk to me?
warm_n_squishy (8:29:39 PM): just love to tlak to new people
annabel_lee_tx (8:29:47 PM): what do you do?
warm_n_squishy (8:29:58 PM): plus you are cute he he
warm_n_squishy (8:30:04 PM): i work at wal-mart
annabel_lee_tx (8:30:11 PM): thought you lied on your profile
warm_n_squishy (8:30:32 PM): i dont care if people know where i work compated to age and all that
warm_n_squishy (8:30:36 PM): its just a job
annabel_lee_tx (8:30:45 PM): I used to work at walmart
warm_n_squishy (8:31:17 PM): sucks huh
annabel_lee_tx (8:31:30 PM): it did while I was pregnant
annabel_lee_tx (8:31:35 PM): working at the snack bar
warm_n_squishy (8:31:42 PM): ahh cool
warm_n_squishy (9:03:35 PM): hey there sorry i had to leave
annabel_lee_tx (9:03:40 PM): ok
warm_n_squishy (9:04:07 PM): so lets try this again you wnat my web cam se we can see eachother ?
warm_n_squishy (9:04:10 PM): yes or no
annabel_lee_tx (9:04:14 PM): I don't have a web cam
warm_n_squishy (9:04:25 PM): that is fine i have your pic
annabel_lee_tx (9:04:30 PM): and I have yours
warm_n_squishy (9:04:32 PM): its on your profile
warm_n_squishy (9:04:47 PM): yeah but i have the convineace of web cam
annabel_lee_tx (9:05:04 PM): it's not that convenient when you try to look at other screens
warm_n_squishy (9:05:28 PM): ohh ok if it is a inconvieniance then never mind that

Can’t spell and obsessed with the webcam thing. I just don’t get it I guess.


coaster_lover_tx (2:54:07 PM): yes?
amarilloman29 (2:54:17 PM): wanan chat
coaster_lover_tx (2:54:31 PM): depends on what you want to chat about
amarilloman29 (2:54:43 PM): u hrny
coaster_lover_tx (2:54:50 PM): no thanks
amarilloman29 (2:55:07 PM): u are hott
coaster_lover_tx (2:55:11 PM): I know
amarilloman29 (2:56:00 PM): wanna meet
coaster_lover_tx (2:56:07 PM): no

This guy hasn’t taken the hint. He’s continued to IM me several times. I know it’s because of my other blog, but just because I post some other stuff on there doesn’t mean I’m a slut and would meet someone out of the blue like that.


coaster_lover_tx (9:20:08 PM): hello
canyonrock343 (9:20:28 PM): how are you?
coaster_lover_tx (9:20:31 PM): fine
canyonrock343 (9:20:56 PM): good....
canyonrock343 (9:21:05 PM): so where are your pictures?
coaster_lover_tx (9:21:21 PM): on my profile
canyonrock343 (9:22:10 PM): Ok..you might have to help me.
coaster_lover_tx (9:23:10 PM): http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/annabel_lee_tx/my_photos
canyonrock343 (9:23:42 PM): very nice
canyonrock343 (9:24:03 PM): are you still dating someone?
coaster_lover_tx (9:24:14 PM): yes I am
canyonrock343 (9:24:21 PM): dang it...
canyonrock343 (9:24:28 PM): are you a swinger?
coaster_lover_tx (9:24:51 PM): not at all
canyonrock343 (9:24:59 PM): Ok...that is good.

Here’s the guy from the other conversation and I should have known what kind of guy he was. Like I said once before… I’m a pervert magnet.


annabel_lee_tx (12:28:50 PM): hi
nick_night28 (12:29:25 PM): Hows doing
annabel_lee_tx (12:29:30 PM): fine
nick_night28 (12:29:40 PM): gr8t
nick_night28 (12:29:52 PM): where are you from
annabel_lee_tx (12:29:56 PM): texas
nick_night28 (12:30:12 PM): k
nick_night28 (12:30:30 PM): Ho old you are
annabel_lee_tx (12:30:34 PM): 34
nick_night28 (12:31:40 PM): how do u do there
annabel_lee_tx (12:31:53 PM): how or what?
annabel_lee_tx (12:31:56 PM): how? I'm fine
nick_night28 (12:32:30 PM): i mean are you doing something now
annabel_lee_tx (12:33:00 PM): I'm surfing the web
nick_night28 (12:33:08 PM): oh
nick_night28 (12:33:20 PM): let me see you cam there
annabel_lee_tx (12:33:27 PM): I don't have a cam
nick_night28 (12:33:31 PM): do you have cam there
annabel_lee_tx (12:33:38 PM): no
nick_night28 (12:33:43 PM): oh pic
nick_night28 (12:35:16 PM): are you buzy there now
annabel_lee_tx (12:35:33 PM): I told you I'm just surfing the web... not too busy yet
nick_night28 (12:35:47 PM): oh
nick_night28 (12:36:03 PM): do have funn
annabel_lee_tx (12:36:15 PM): ok
nick_night28 (12:36:41 PM): are you married
annabel_lee_tx (12:36:52 PM): no, but I'm in a relationship
nick_night28 (12:37:17 PM): so hows doing your sex life
annabel_lee_tx (12:37:31 PM): it's none of your business
nick_night28 (12:37:52 PM): oh cant you tell me that
nick_night28 (12:37:59 PM): its ok m sorry

I guess guys think they can just be blunt and ask such questions. And I guess there are girls out there that answer stuff like that. I’m not saying I’m perfect and that I’ve never chatted about such topics, but I at least take the time to get to know someone a little beforehand.


choppercop702 (10:25:26 AM): yahoo is shutting down August 17th because they want to get rid of free messenger. if u delete this and don;t pass it on ur name WILL BE DELETED!!!!! A lot of people have already been deleted so don't be stupid(sorry). If u don't know how to do it: right click on the group name of ur buddy list and click send to all in the group. please do it cuz i would hate for u to be the next to get deleted.

Are people really this naïve????


annabel_lee_tx (8:17:43 PM): hi
brodney53_98_98 (8:18:02 PM): you are in TX?
annabel_lee_tx (8:18:08 PM): yes
brodney53_98_98 (8:18:22 PM): are you from Ohio?
annabel_lee_tx (8:18:28 PM): no
annabel_lee_tx (8:18:35 PM): I've been to Ohio, but I'm not from there
brodney53_98_98 (8:18:35 PM): ok
annabel_lee_tx (8:18:38 PM): native texan
brodney53_98_98 (8:18:39 PM): ahh
brodney53_98_98 (8:18:41 PM): ok
brodney53_98_98 (8:18:57 PM): I saw the 6 flags and Cedar Point
annabel_lee_tx (8:19:35 PM): went there this summer
brodney53_98_98 (8:20:34 PM): you shouls take some bare foot pictures.....like the TX babes that I know
annabel_lee_tx (8:20:55 PM): I don't see the point
brodney53_98_98 (8:21:01 PM): i do
brodney53_98_98 (8:21:03 PM): lol
brodney53_98_98 (8:21:10 PM): I have a female foot fetish
brodney53_98_98 (8:21:21 PM): and I see you do have one
annabel_lee_tx (8:21:22 PM): ic... well I only share my sexy pics with my bf
brodney53_98_98 (8:21:23 PM): kinda
brodney53_98_98 (8:21:29 PM): ahh
annabel_lee_tx (8:21:31 PM): not really
brodney53_98_98 (8:21:43 PM): so barefeet pics are sexy pics to you?
annabel_lee_tx (8:21:59 PM): well, if it turns someone else on, yes
brodney53_98_98 (8:22:08 PM): ok
brodney53_98_98 (8:22:19 PM): you are right on the button
brodney53_98_98 (8:22:29 PM): and I'm sure you have sexy feet
brodney53_98_98 (8:22:33 PM): looks like it
annabel_lee_tx (8:22:41 PM): maybe
brodney53_98_98 (8:22:46 PM): you do
brodney53_98_98 (8:23:03 PM): and polished red toenails
annabel_lee_tx (8:23:27 PM): nope, they're pink
brodney53_98_98 (8:23:44 PM): oh...sexier...lol
brodney53_98_98 (8:25:38 PM): do you have high arches
annabel_lee_tx (8:26:11 PM): why does it matter? I'm not going to describe my feet to you.
brodney53_98_98 (8:26:24 PM): awe
brodney53_98_98 (8:26:29 PM): I'm in Ohio babe
annabel_lee_tx (8:27:02 PM): it doesn't matter to me. I don't do stuff like that because I don't care for it and also out of respect for my boyfriend
brodney53_98_98 (8:27:32 PM): i understand you love him
brodney53_98_98 (8:27:43 PM): but you cant lock yourself up
annabel_lee_tx (8:27:45 PM): very much
brodney53_98_98 (8:27:58 PM): if I seen you on the street I would look at them
annabel_lee_tx (8:28:01 PM): I'm not
annabel_lee_tx (8:28:38 PM): well, since I'm in Texas I guess I don't have to worry about it
brodney53_98_98 (8:28:44 PM): true
brodney53_98_98 (8:28:59 PM): but I do have your picture to look at
brodney53_98_98 (8:29:05 PM): and the one foot
annabel_lee_tx (8:29:11 PM): ok
brodney53_98_98 (8:29:12 PM): you holding the teddy bear
brodney53_98_98 (8:29:41 PM): i have already copied it
annabel_lee_tx (8:29:57 PM): well enjoy
brodney53_98_98 (8:30:04 PM): i intend to
brodney53_98_98 (8:30:08 PM): lol
brodney53_98_98 (8:30:30 PM): me and Johnny
brodney53_98_98 (8:30:33 PM): lol
brodney53_98_98 (8:31:03 PM): besides....youre hot
annabel_lee_tx (8:31:13 PM): ok, thanks
annabel_lee_tx (8:32:31 PM): well, I'm going to get back to my game
brodney53_98_98 (8:32:40 PM): and you do have high to medium arches, not flat
brodney53_98_98 (8:32:42 PM): ok
brodney53_98_98 (8:32:45 PM): enjoy
brodney53_98_98 (8:32:51 PM): as I will
brodney53_98_98 (8:33:39 PM): one last question
brodney53_98_98 (8:33:41 PM): please

My first encounter with a guy with a foot fetish. Can I puke now?


funluvntxguy2003 (6:54:27 PM): hey hun are you there
annabel_lee_tx (6:54:38 PM): yes, but on phone for a sec
funluvntxguy2003 (6:54:49 PM): oh ok
annabel_lee_tx (6:58:53 PM): back
funluvntxguy2003 (6:59:08 PM): cool
funluvntxguy2003 (6:59:48 PM): am I reading correct on your profile that you are in a relationship now
annabel_lee_tx (7:00:29 PM): yes, that is correct
funluvntxguy2003 (7:01:16 PM): ok I was just looking through the profiles of people on my list and saw yours and you were online so I thought I would ask to make sure if was correct
annabel_lee_tx (7:01:23 PM): yes, it is
funluvntxguy2003 (7:01:59 PM): ok thought I would check before flirting to much and asking the wrong question
funluvntxguy2003 (7:02:00 PM): lol
annabel_lee_tx (7:02:03 PM): ok

At least he read the profile. That’s amazing.


annabel_lee_tx (1:56:37 PM): hi
markey4sale (1:56:42 PM): how r u
annabel_lee_tx (1:56:47 PM): fine
markey4sale (1:57:03 PM): nice pic
annabel_lee_tx (1:57:09 PM): thanks
markey4sale (1:57:30 PM): i am student london
annabel_lee_tx (1:57:45 PM): how old?
markey4sale (1:58:15 PM): 16
markey4sale (1:58:18 PM): yr pretty
annabel_lee_tx (1:58:29 PM): you're too young
markey4sale (1:58:37 PM): oh

No need to comment here… nuff said.


annabel_lee_tx (9:13:14 PM): hi
bigmarklew (9:13:24 PM): how are you?
annabel_lee_tx (9:13:28 PM): I'm fine
bigmarklew (9:14:09 PM): so do you ever come to amarillo?
annabel_lee_tx (9:14:15 PM): of course
bigmarklew (9:14:40 PM): you are cute want to get together sometime?
annabel_lee_tx (9:14:55 PM): I appreciate it, but I'm involved with someone
bigmarklew (9:15:02 PM): too bad
annabel_lee_tx (9:15:10 PM): sorry
bigmarklew (9:15:16 PM): no prob

Like I’m going to go out with someone just because they IM me online. Do I really look that stupid?

annabel_lee_tx (5:47:30 PM): thank you
jman11032001 (5:48:02 PM): I should say thank you for posting pictures on-line...
annabel_lee_tx (5:48:42 PM): you're welcome then
jman11032001 (5:48:58 PM): I'm Jason, by the way, it's nice to meet you...
annabel_lee_tx (5:49:04 PM): nice to meet you
jman11032001 (5:49:18 PM): So tell me how it is that someone as gorgeous as yourself is still single?
annabel_lee_tx (5:50:07 PM): I'm not any more... just got involved with someone
jman11032001 (5:50:30 PM): That make a little more sense to me... Tell me this...have you ever done any modeling?
annabel_lee_tx (5:50:38 PM): lol, uh no
jman11032001 (5:50:53 PM): You say that like it's a strange question...
annabel_lee_tx (5:51:47 PM): it is
annabel_lee_tx (5:51:52 PM): at least to me it is
jman11032001 (5:52:17 PM): You shouldn't take it so lightly...I take pictures of lots of women...and you are much prettier...
annabel_lee_tx (5:53:05 PM): well thanks, I appreciate it

Is that the oldest line in the book or what? Perhaps he was sincere, but doubtful.


annabel_lee_tx (10:44:33 AM): thanks
mistery_man_21 (10:44:38 AM): you are welcome
mistery_man_21 (10:44:50 AM): especially love the pic of you laying on the bed in the pink pjs
annabel_lee_tx (10:44:58 AM): I hear that a lot
mistery_man_21 (10:45:09 AM): i bet you do
mistery_man_21 (10:46:30 AM): well id hit on ya but youd probably tell me im too young
annabel_lee_tx (10:47:05 AM): I would probably say that and I'm also involved with someone.
mistery_man_21 (10:47:14 AM): oh

More obsession with the pics. I wonder if I should take the off my profile. I don’t think they’re really that bad, but I guess they get to a lot of guys. In some ways it’s flattering. In others, it’s annoying. I can appreciate someone thinking I’m pretty or sexy etc, but usually that’s just not it.


annabel_lee_tx (10:57:53 PM): I'm working on something at the moment
hany_helmy18 (10:58:12 PM): ok i will wait to talking with u
hany_helmy18 (10:58:52 PM): why u did that?
annabel_lee_tx (10:59:07 PM): I don't add friends until I chat with them and I have yet to chat with you
hany_helmy18 (10:59:37 PM): if u not see me good u can ignore me
hany_helmy18 (10:59:51 PM): i wanna add u to not lost u
annabel_lee_tx (11:00:11 PM): I don't know you.. I don't know if I want you to talk to me
hany_helmy18 (11:00:44 PM): itis ok u will know me when u have time for talking with me
hany_helmy18 (11:00:51 PM): can i add u now?
annabel_lee_tx (11:00:54 PM): no
hany_helmy18 (11:00:58 PM): ok

Once again trying to add me as a friend before having a conversation. Based on our conversation, I doubt I would talk to him anyways. Proper English is something that is somewhat important to me.

annabel_lee_tx (9:53:51 PM): howdy
tonedtiger (9:54:03 PM): good
tonedtiger (9:54:06 PM): u?
annabel_lee_tx (9:54:12 PM): I'm fine
tonedtiger (9:54:24 PM): ty
tonedtiger (9:54:36 PM): nice pic u r too sexy
annabel_lee_tx (9:54:57 PM): thanks
tonedtiger (9:55:08 PM): uw sweety
tonedtiger (9:55:10 PM): do u have cam i wish see u beauty face
tonedtiger (9:56:01 PM):
annabel_lee_tx (9:56:15 PM): nope
tonedtiger (9:56:31 PM): ok
tonedtiger (9:56:42 PM): u r too beauty baby

English anyone?

This is just a sampling of those I’ve actually had some kind of conversation with. I still get a lot of IM’s that I just ignore based on my rules. Most of the time I do chat is when I'm bored, nobody else is on and I have nothing better to do. Sometimes I let it go farther than I should, and sometimes it's just to see how far some of these guys will go. I'm still quite wary about chatting with anyone simply because of these types of conversations. I think it may be too much to ask for geniunely inspiring conversations. I guess it just comes with the internet being what it is. Full of perverts, sickos and the like scattered in amongst a few civilized people.

Shopping Withdrawals

I feel the need to go shopping. I actually have an idea of the things I want to buy for Christmas, but still have to wait. Luckily child support will come through by Monday and I can do a little shopping then. Thing is that several things I'm buying this year will be online. I'm debating how much I should spend on everyone this year. I generally spend too much and am left with very little of my bonus money. I kind of want to be a little selfish. The majority of my spending will be on Josh and Marty. I kind of want enough left over to pay off my small bills and then perhaps buy something for the house.
I did go to the mall today. I mostly just window shopped and got a few ideas. I did buy myself a nice pair of soft, fuzzy socks.
Life is still dull at the moment. Nothing new to report here. Marty is still coming in a few weeks and that makes me glad. I'm still having concerns that I need to deal with at some point, but for now I'm not going to worry about it.

I guess this is one of those "Duh's!"

love and romance is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

But they forgot to say that love and romance are frustrating as hell too. But it's still good as well.

Marty is Coming!

O.k. I can breathe a sigh of relief. Marty is officially coming for Christmas. He'll be here from Dec. 28-Jan. 5. I wish it could have been longer, but am happy to have him be here regardless.

I actually got into the spirit this year and put my tree up. I'll post a picture later. I still have some cleaning around the area to do. I have a bit of themed Christmas tree. Though I have a handful of non-themed ornaments (stuff that Josh made in school) the majority of my tree is music related.

I wish I could get my Christmas shopping done, but will try to remain patient. I know that I don't need wrapping paper. In the process of moving this past year I realized how much paper (discovered in a variety of places) I already have. Then I added that to what mom had here. I think I'm covered for a while.

Well, it's late here and I've got to head to bed.

Been a While

I know I haven't updated in a while. I'm getting over my internet withdrawal symptoms. I went to Albuquerque on Tuesday thinking it would be better to get ahead of the storms coming through, but found myself in the middle of them. It was a bit nasty driving from here until about Tucumcari, but after that it cleared up pretty well. I ended up taking my aunt's mother-in-law with us. She's 87 but it pretty good shape. Unfortunately she refuses to use a walker or a cane to help her walk because it might make her look "old".
I was without the internet while I was there so I had to catch up on all the blogs I read when I got back. The sad thing is that I received about 100 pieces of email and only one of them was something valid.
O.k. this is boring me too.
Marty and I are doing o.k. I still think he's being a little weird and distant (not just physcially) but he denies it. I'm a bit frustrated by the fact that he can't figure out when and if he can come here for Christmas because of one of the guys he works with that won't make up his mind.
I learned a new skill at my aunt's but I can't say anything about it here because it involves a present that I made for Marty. If you're just dying to know about it you can email me.
I also think I've got my Christmas list planned, but now have to wait for my bonus to see if I can buy anything for anybody.
It is freaking cold here. My house is currently at 62 degrees. I have a fire lit, and all the portable heaters on and I'm still cold. I hate winter. I hate being cold.
There's really nothing new to report here. It's mostly work right now. But I guess it's a good thing when there's nothing new to report. Something new isn't always a good thing.

Photo Collage. Well, sort of. Believe it or not, these photos are actually somewhat sorted. These are photos that my mom had in various places. One of the cool things I found was pictures of my mom and dad when they got married. I had never seen that picture before. As I further sort the pictures, I'll post some. 

Roo the chilly dog. Roo likes to snuggle under the covers. I guess it's because he has short hair. I just thought he looked cute. 

Jewelry box cat. What is it about cats and boxes? I was cleaning out my mom's jewelry chest and Tux had to jump in. Isn't she pretty? 

At a loss

I hate it when I have desire to write and get stuff out and it stays stifled inside. I really don't know what to say but will try anyways.
Emotionally, I'm drained. Had a yucky night last night. Not sure where Marty and I stand. Well maybe. He did IM me this morning which really helped. I admit I overreacted at something he said. And I've been moody along with him lately. I know I've added to his stress. But I also know that he hasn't been acting like I'm everything to him lately. That's one reason why I fell for him. He made me feel important to him. Lately I feel more like an inconvenience than someone special to him. I don't mean to feel that way. Part of it is the distance, part of it is my insecurities, and part of it the fact that his attitude seems to have changed.
I have this problem. I'm never satisfied. Nothing is ever good enough for me. If someone volunteers to clean my kitchen, I can't just appreciate that they might have picked up and did the dishes, but will be concerned that they didn't wipe the counters or sweep the floor. In a relationship I guess I always want more from my partner than they are able to give. Is it that I expect too much or is it that I can't find the perfect mate?
I like to make my partner feel special. And in return, I like to feel special too. I can be somewhat of a realist knowing that not all men have the knack for doing this. But my thinking that if I AM indeed special to someone, they will make it known to me.
I learned in my last relationship that you can't change anyone. It's wrong to expect someone to change. I have to be willing to accept my partner as he is. For someone that is never satisfied, it's a tall order. But perhaps not impossible.
I love Marty for who he is. For the love he has for me. For the guy that is afraid of rollercoasters, but will ride them for me. For the man that has come to see me 4 times. For the great father that he is. For the way he holds me and tells me that he loves me. For loving me as I am.
And for that, I am thankful. And I love him for that.
And I'll do what it takes to alleviate his stress. If that means leaving him be to sort things out, I will. Though I wish I could help him. I wish I could be there for him.
I'm still at a loss. Maybe not for words, but for what I can do. I just know I'm not ready to let go. I hope he isn't either.

Work, work, work

Who has time to keep up with a blog when all you do is work, work, work. Here's the latest:

Got my house clean. Woo Hoo! Even the laundry is caught up. If I can have the garage sale this weekend, I can get that stuff cleared out. Then I might be able to park my car in there. That would certainly be nice on those nasty snowy days we've been getting. I think we've surpassed the amount of snow we had the entire year last year.
Marty still doesn't know about is relocation and may not know for a few more months. Problem is that his job will be gone in like February so they're going to have to figure out something. This waiting in limbo stuff sucks. Puts him in a bad mood, makes me ancy. But I'm still dealing with it pretty well. Still have some concerns, but still love him very much. Love wins right now.
Heater in this house still sucks so I'm using small heaters in each room. It seems to be doing the trick. At least I'm not freezing any more.
Bought the dogs new beds since they didn't quite fit in the cat beds. Now the cats are taking over the dog beds. Go figure.
I haven't gone to my dance class in weeks. O.k. here's my excuses, oops I mean reasons: Two weeks ago it was the weather. Thurs. after that was I started my spring/fall cleaning bid and was on a roll. Last Monday I volunteered to help with Josh's all-region tryouts. Last Thursday I think I was still cleaning. This Monday I had to visit a school. I'm going to do my best to get there on Thursday. I don't think I have any more excuses to not go.
I've been working a lot. Today I drove over 200 miles and visited 5 schools. My schedule is not going to let up before Thanksgiving. I'm doing o.k. on getting renewals signed, but I still hate it.
I'm a creative genius when it comes to yearbook covers. O.k. maybe not, but I've learned some cool new tricks.
I'm feeling guilty about considering applying for a new job. Considering I'm getting a five-year ring and the winter meeting (that I normally don't go to, but probably will this year since it's in San Antonio) and that if by the snowball's chance in hell that I would even be considered for the job, it would put my boss and my schools in a bind. But the job sounds really great. A graphic artist. Sitting around being creative all day. No travel. Health insurance. It is sooooo tempting to just apply despite the fact that I don't have all the skills necessary. But I'm a quick learner. I am.
Went through my mom's jewerly box and boy did she have a lot of earrings. None that I could really wear (sensitive ears) or that I would want (different tastes). I've got to check with dad on the value of some of her stuff. I don't know what's geniune and what's not except for her diamond ring. Got to check with my sister to see if there's anything she wants.
I think that's all for now. Am determined to go to bed at a somewhat decent hour tonight. Yeah, right.

Some Men Just Don't "Get It"

In all of my 35 years, about 15 that have included serious-type relationships with men, I've discovered several things that they just don't "get". Here's a partial list:

1. When we say "nothing" is wrong. It's usually something. And generally we want you to figure it out.
2. When your girlfriend or wife is meeting you at the door naked or half naked, it's a good thing. You should respond appropriately.
3. We need romance. We don't just want it. It's necessary.
4. We need more than just HEARING "I Love You." Saying it is indeed important, but we need to see it in action as well.
5. Birthdays should be special. That generally means more than just a phone call.
6. Romance can be spontaneous, but most of the time it takes planning.
7. Flowers are good things. They should be sent for special occasions (anniversaries, Valentine's, birthdays), sometimes when you're in the doghouse, and sometimes just because.
8. Romance doesn't have to expensive.
9. When a woman is crying hysterically (even if you're mad), you should stop, shut up, and hold her.
10. If you get into the habit of talking every day. You need to talk EVERY day. If not, we will imagine and expect the worst and will be mad when we discover you're not dead or maimed.
11. Unless specifically requested, gift certificates are NOT good presents. We would like you to actually use your head and shop for something meaningful. Or at least get ideas from us weeks before actual gift-giving dates.
12. Never buy clothes for a woman.
13. Never buy a selfish (meaning for yourself) gift. For example, the 101 Nights of Great Sex book just so you can get laid more.
14. We are jealous creatures by nature. Be aware of it and don't test it.

I know there's more, but will update as I think of them. I'm tired now and am going to sleep.

Moodiness

It seems that I'm not the only one suffering from depression and moodiness right now. Patrick has been moping about the fact that his current love interest has snubbed him more or less and he still hasn't found true love. I don't know what I can tell him to make him feel better. He's a great guy. Very nice. And yes I, too, broke his heart. But honestly I don't know that we'd ever get to a point of a relationship anyways. I told him that I thought he's trying too hard. I can't say I speak for all women, but if a guy tries too hard, it sends up huge warning signals. Honestly for me, a little aloofness is far more intriguing.
My friend Pam has also been down in the dumps. I can't go into details about the situation she's been in, but suffice to say, she is having those "What's wrong with me" thoughts. Pam is a wonderful friend and a geat catch. Again, it really is just the wrong guy.
And now Marty is moody. And he's not certain why. He says it's probably because of all the uncertainty with his job. Which I can understand, but I always wonder and speculate if it's something more. And his mood affects me. Not that I needed any help in that area.
I guess I'm still dealing with the whole birthday thing. And the Marty thing. And my job. And the house.
Is it spring yet? Oh yeah, we still have to go through winter. Ugh.

Cancelled

I decided that since the weather forcast included rain and snow today I would not try to have the garage sale this weekend. I even made a sign to put in my yard, just in case. Just in case those crazy garage sale freaks didn't realize the weather was bad. (And indeed raining this morning) But at 7 when I got up, and it was raining, I thought that my sign might just smear in the rain and what good would that do? So I didn't put it out. And I went back to bed. But sure enough, at 8:00 on the dot, people were here for the garage sale I had advertised. (When the weather people forcasted a nice 50 degree day) Luckily David was up. He told them that we weren't having it due to weather and I had him put my sign out. You know, I could have opened my garage and have the sale for the lunatics, but problem is that a. I would have to freeze my butt off for a few trinket sales b. I didn't really have time to get it completely set up c. I really don't currently have walking space around the tables since I had to quickly shove everything back in the garage when it rained last week and now I can't put it back out in the driveway since it's STILL wet and d. after the freaks snub all the little stuff (since I don't have great pieces of furniture to buy and restore) I would still be left with a garage full of stuff and a cold. So, I've postponed the garage sale and offer my prayers for better weather next weekend. (Is there a patron saint of garage sales or weather I wonder?)

I have a dog that thinks he's a cat.  

look at the cover I'm working on. I learned to create the spotlight. 

Moving On

Well the birthday is over. It wasn't too bad. I got a present from Patrick last week. (He got me the C.S.I. board game) Dad took us out to dinner last week. Got a card from one of my advisers yesterday. Got a call from Marty. (No gift from him yet as he's having to spend $500 on closing costs to sell his house in Louisiana) I took Josh and a couple of his friends to dinner and a movie last night. We went to see Ray. It was very good. Jamie Foxx did a spectacular job of emulating Ray Charles.
Night before last I wrapped Josh's presents and then put them in his room before he got up. After he got up yesterday, I asked him if he was going to open them and he said no, he'd wait. That surprised me a bit, but I figured that he just wanted the anticipation of it. Well, I left around 7:30 yesterday morning to head to one of my schools. When I got back around 3:30 I checked his room and he couldn't help himself... he went ahead and opened them. (I knew he couldn't wait) I got him a DVD player for his room, weather calendar, book on Dali (the artist), a Duran Duran greatest hits CD, and the movie Galaxy Quest. I think it was a pretty good birthday for him this year.
Now the birthday is over. I'm 35. Josh is 14. Time to move on.

I'm getting a ring. It's a five-year ring for working with Jostens as an associate. But now I have to make a decision. I have to pick the color of stone I want. I hate making decisions. My birthstone is topaz (Nov) but it is just plain ugly. I'm kind of leaning towards purple (amethyst) since it was my high school color. But green would match my earrings and the blue is pretty. HELP! 

Happy Birthday To Me

Today is my birthday. Well at least it used to be MY birthday before my son was born. Now I guess it's more OUR birthday... and sometimes... really HIS birthday. He was born on my 21st birthday. Let me tell you after going through completely natural child birth, not by choice, boy I could have used a drink. I remember my mom calling me at the hospital saying "Happy Birthday! What do you want?" I replied, "An Epidural." But, alas, I received nothing. No drugs. By the time I asked for them they said it was too late. I basically went from a "3" to a"9" in dialation rather fast. It was painful. I vowed to remember the pain as long as I lived and to NEVER do that again. Unfortunately or fortunately, I probably won't be having more children. I'm getting to the age where it might not be the best idea and I'm also in a kind of selfish mode these days. I want the freedom to travel and sleep late. Josh is of the age that he can pretty much take care of himsel, which he tends to prefer most of the time. I remember the day I taught him to make himself a bowl of cereal. I realized that from now on I could actually sleep in 30 more minutes in the morning. Wooo Hooo! I went through a brief phase of hearing my biological clock ticking a few years ago. It passed. Given that my ex had a vasectomy before we were married it was unreasonable to have children. That and he really wasn't the good father type. Nor the good husband type. Marty, too, has been "fixed." For me it's a relief that I don't have to worry about birth control. Did I mention that I am terrible at remembering to take pills everyday? I am truly thankful that I never married Josh's dad. (Not that he ever offered) He turned out to be a real "winner". Sometimes I hope I haven't messed up Josh too much. It was difficult at times, but I think he's turned out to be a pretty good kid. He's smart. Really smart. (And I'm not just bragging) He's talented artistically and musically. He doesn't get in to trouble. And he's not really into sports. He's only in athletics for the "coolness" factor. He still has some anger management issues to deal with, but I think overall, he's turned out o.k. So when sometimes I think that my birthday really isn't all that special, it really is the best day of my life.

Depressing Time of Year

This time of year is always depressing. I never noticed it so much before. But when Richard and I tried counseling a few years ago, the therapist pointed out that events that have happened in the past that we may have forgotten about can trigger states of depression. So I gave it some thought. I realized that it was about that time of year (Nov-Dec) that my best friend in junior high passed away. It was my first personal experience with death. We were in the 8th grade. She developed a brain tumor the year before. I used to think about her every day for several years. Now she crosses my mind once in a while. I never thought of her death really affecting me, but perhaps it still has. Or it could have been the miserable state of living with a man that wasn't who I thought he was.
Well, never-the-less, being aware of such things I do realize that I indeed tend to be down this time of year. Yes, the time change has an effect with darker days etc... But it's also my birthday which is generally depressing. It's not really getting older, it's the fact that it has ceased to be something special. Yet at the same time it is still really special since it's my son's birthday. (I know, I don't make sense) Then there's the fact that it was a year ago (on the 22nd) that my mother passed away. Then there's the up in the air status of where Marty will be next year. But overall, I'm handling it all pretty well so far. I think just being aware of it helps. It also helps that I'm working on getting my house clean. It's distracting me from my mood and making things more pleasant around here.
So now if I could just get the weathermen to agree that snow should NOT be here on Saturday so I could have my garage sale and get rid of the junk in my garage.

This was all in my garage. Now it's back in the garage, but at least it's assembled as a garage sale in progress. I'm hoping weather will be cooperative. 

Cleaning Frenzy

Since it's probably going to be one of the last gorgeous weekends here (mid 70's yesterday) I decided to take on the garage. I really should have taken a picture of it before I started so you could understand the exact nature of the disaster it was. Having been a fan of clean sweep I made a "sell" pile that is now taking up a good portion of my driveway. I have another pile that is stuff to take to dad. I'm slowing getting through all the laundry. Now, I have to figure out what to do with the sell pile. I thought about having a free garage sale. Just putting it out in the driveway and let people take what they want. I do have a few things I would like to sell, however, like Josh' bunkbed frame. I can't just leave it in the driveway, but I don't want to pile it in the garage. I think I'll start putting it out on tables in the garage and prepare for a garage sale next weekend. (Hoping that it will be nice again.)
Now I also have to deal with the house. I got the living room clean (which is what necessitated the cleaning of the garage). Now the kitchen is a mess, the office is a disaster, and my room hasn't been clean since before I left for Connecticut. Luckily, I'm taking a day off tomorrow.
I think I've gone on this cleaning kick because of a little bit of depression. It is so depressing living in a mess. I know that when I do have a house that is clean it totally lifts my spirits.
Marty gave me more potential bad news. He still doesn't know whether or not he's going to Alaska. He also found that they're still looking to send people to the middle east. Because his job is being dissolved and it's non-essential, he's a good candidate. I don't know what to think about all this. I was finally getting used to accepting him going to Alaska for a year. Now he might go into a very unstable, hazardous area. I'm still trying to keep the faith up that everything will work out. I didn't mean to fall in love with him, but I did. It's just difficult. And I knew it would be. I think if I ever got to a point where life was content in every area, then the world would be coming to an end. If my house was clean with no clutter, Marty was here permanently, Josh got a full scholarship to college, and my debts were paid off.... well if that happens, I'll let you know so everyone can prepare.
Well, I gotta get back to cleaning.

Stuffed

Just got back from Olive Garden. Josh and I went out to eat for our birthday dinner. (Next Wed. is the actual day) We invited my dad and his girlfriend along. (He paid... woohoo!) And now I'm full. I had salad, breadsticks, chicken parmesan (with leftovers for tomorrow), raspberry cheesecake, and wine. I understand why they generally hold the door open for you when you leave. So you can conveniently roll out on to the sidewalk. But it was so very good. Now I'll have to fast the rest of the weekend.
I'm on a roll working on my house. My living room is clean. Maybe for the first time since I moved in. Of course that means the rest of the house is a mess. Hopefully I'll keep the urge to keep going through the weekend.

Issues with the Aunt again...

The doorbell rings at 5:45 this morning. Yes, that's A.M. Only time that happens is when the police are doing it. Sure enough I was right. At first I thought, oh no, it's my dogs barking again. But then I realized that they had been sleeping with me. When I noticed that the police officer was my former brother-in-law I figured it had to do with my aunt again. He was clued into the situation a while back and knew that I had been dealing with her. He tells me that she has called the police claiming that someone was trying to kill her son. (That would be David that lives with me.) They said that when they went over there this morning that she couldn't remember why she had called them but she had washed her hair. I told them that I was no longer dealing with her, but I would get her son and he could deal with it. Although she hasn't spoken to me since August and has forbidden David to discuss her situation with me, I figured that she's probably changed her medication again or stopped taking it and is going off the deep end again. So after the police left, I woke David up and let him know what was going on. (If I had to get up at 5:45, he did too.) He went over there and stayed until about 7 a.m. Of course I don't know what's truly going on since I'm not in the loop any more. And it's a relief. I'm thankful that it's not me that has to deal with all of this again. I'm sorry that she's having problems again and that she'll probably end up in the hospital again. At least this time she has no recourse to blame me. As far as I'm concerned, she's brought this on herself and she has to deal with it.

Debit Card Catastrophe

Technology is indeed grand, but it can be the bane of existence too. Case in point. ATM machines. Wonderful machines when you need a little extra cash on the go when banks aren't available. Yes, sometimes they charge that nasty fee, but generally it's worth it when you need cash immediately.
I was in Borger today. Had about and hour to kill before my next school in Fritch. I think to myself, "I'm thirsty." Mmmmm, no cash. Only pennies in my ash tray. Oh wait! I have a debit card! I know where a machine is. I've used it before. I actually have money in my account. So I drive on over to the machine and seconds before I put my card in I think to myself, "I really don't trust these machines that you actually have to put your card IN rather than swipe it.." BUT I put it in anyways. And the machine just sits there. Doesn't ask me nicely for my PIN number. It just tells me to insert my card. I yell at it "It's already inserted!" It doesn't respond. I hit buttons to no avail. There's a number on the machine to call in case you have questions regarding the fee charged so I call it. Tell my story to the lady at Amarillo National Bank. And find that there's nothing that can be done. She tells me that either my card is jammed. (Probably) Or that it couldn't read the magnetic strip and it kept the card in it's depository or something. (Not likely as I used it the night before) She says that the only time a technician will be at that machine is on Monday. She said that they should be able to retrieve my card by then and it will be forwarded to my bank... eventually. She tells me that she can put a block on it so that if by some miracle it is ejected nobody could use it. I have concerns about this as since this is not my bank. So when I get back to town I deposit a check and get some cash back and ask about my card. The person I need to talk to isn't in at the moment, but I could come back later. I come back later. Person is there, but with a customer that is opening a money market account with $25,000. Must be nice. Eventually I talk to her and she calls the company directly and puts a lost block on the card that can be taken off if I do get it back.
So I'm without my debit/credit card that I like to use when I go out to eat or shop. Now I have to write checks. I'm getting so spoiled. I don't even write checks to pay my bills any more.

Superman at Six Flags New England. What a great ride! 220 ft drop and over 70 mph. Very cool! 

These are the roses Marty brought to the airport. They opened up beautifully. 

I thought this was a great photo of the train diving into the the tunnel. 

Picture of Marty. Isn't his hat cute?

Trying to Stay Warm

My house is cold. I HATE being cold. The heater is trying to do it's job. I have it on around 75 but the temp is staying in the 60's. I really need to get the airconditioners out of the windows. Guess I'll just keep layering on the clothes and staying under the covers for now.
I have to go vote this afternoon.
On a happy note the child support check has come through on time this month. Woo Hoo! Mine and Josh's birthday is next week. (yes we were born on the same day) I think I'm going to get him a computer chair for his room. I don't know what I should buy for myself. I kind of stopped having birthdays since Josh was born. (I guess that means I'm still 21) I've always wanted to feel somewhat special on my birthday, but it hasn't been that way in many years. Last year was when my mom was released from the hospital and given only 2 weeks to live. Kind of a bummer to say the least. While I was married, Richard sometimes bought me something or sent flowers, but I always had to remind him to do so. And half the time he was out of town with his job. I once sent him on a scavenger hunt for his birthday. It just got to the point where my birthday wasn't so special any more. I think everybody's birthday should have at least some meaning. I'm not always the best at it, but I try to remember them with a card, phone call or something. I even sent my former mother-in-law a card this week. (Her birthday is the week before mine) So for the past few years I've bought myself a little something for my birthday because I deserve it darn it!